


Texting and Hiding

by underneathitall



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, M/M, Work In Progress
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-09
Updated: 2014-11-26
Packaged: 2018-02-08 04:32:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 58,933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1926741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/underneathitall/pseuds/underneathitall
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel Novak is the nerd in high school. The one people make fun of, who never goes out, and would take homework over a party any day. When his best friend Charlie suggests that he should try to make friends online, Cas is hesitant to say the least. However, when he meets a guy in a chat room that he's never related to more and starts to develop feelings for him, he starts to think that maybe there's hope for him after all. What happens when he finds out that guy is none other than the popular jock at his school, Dean Winchester? **complete**</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Let's Start from the Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> Explicit rating for later chapters 
> 
> I don't have too much to say about this since it's my first chapter, but I hope you guys enjoy! :)

Castiel Novak woke up to the frantic sound of his alarm clock on yet another Thursday morning, not ready to face the day. He groaned and hit the snooze button before turning over and trying to get another five minutes of sleep. That was all he cared about lately, but he was never able to get.  

He laid in bed and thought to himself about what he’d have to do for the rest of the day, mapping out his hours as well as he could so he'd have some sense of control and order in what he did.  

Today he had to get out of bed, get dressed, and go downstairs for breakfast first. He’d probably settle for a protein bar and piece of toast, grab his backpack, and meet his older brother Gabe at the car so they could drive to school together. Once they got there, Cas would sit in his first period class until the bell rang; then it was all a matter of surviving the rest of the school day. When that was finally done, he’d come home, do homework, and then be able to sleep again. Or try to.  

As soon as Cas was done running over his plan, his alarm clock went off again. At least by now he was a little more awake. He turned over and hit the “off” button, forcing himself to sit up straight and take a deep breath.  

 _Come on, Cas. Just get out of bed; you can do it._  

That was hard to believe sometimes. Regardless, Castiel swung his legs out over the side of his bed and stood up, stretching. He went over to his closet and took out the first things he saw: a dark red t-shirt and a pair of jeans. After putting them on, he looked at himself in the mirror and sighed. Cas had given up on his hair years ago, settling for bedhead as he put on a jacket to fight off the chill of the early start of winter.  

He headed downstairs, yawning as he reached the kitchen and looked around for something to eat. His parents weren’t home, but they rarely ever were. This week they were on a business trip somewhere in Europe; and knowing them, they’d stay even longer if they could find a way.  

Cas always had the sneaking suspicion that his parents hated being parents. They had six kids including himself, but that didn't matter. They left them behind for any excuse possible ever since Michael turned sixteen and was able to take care of the younger five of them, so Castiel didn’t know either of his parents very well. 

Regardless, Cas was used to coming downstairs and being the only one there. He, Gabriel, and Lucifer were the only children that lived in the house anymore, and Lucifer was in college so he usually wasn't up this early. 

Cas went to the pantry and got out a protein bar, deciding to skip out on the toast. Glancing at his now oversized backpack, he sighed. Yet another reminder that school had been overwhelming him lately, and wasn’t about to get any easier. It was only November, and he felt like he was drowning in schoolwork. Despite how much he liked school in the past, it had been too much this year. 

As Castiel took a bite of the protein bar he grabbed his backpack and went out the front door to see Gabe already in the driver’s seat of the car.  

Castiel got in the passenger seat and murmured, "Let's go," not looking over at his brother as he yawned. 

“Someone’s tired today,” Gabe commented, starting the car and backing out of the driveway. He turned on the radio and occasionally looked over at Castiel, who could feel it, but said nothing. “You tapped out pretty early last night though…something you wanna talk about?” 

Gabe was constantly worried about Castiel’s state of mind; he knew that their parents not being around affected him more than he let on. That typically meant them having an intense discussion about his mental health at least once every two weeks or so, which Cas was trying to get out of the habit of doing.  

“Nothing to say,” Castiel told him, finishing his breakfast and tossing the wrapper into the tiny trash can they kept in the backseat. “I’m just stressed about school, I guess.”  

“Fair enough,” Gabe said, knowing it was better not to push the issue of talking when it came to Cas. If he really needed something, he’d let him know. “If you want help with any of your projects or anything, just say the word. Not that I could do it any better than you.”  

“Yeah, I know…thanks,” Cas said, his voice softening when he realized there was no need to take his anger out on Gabe. “Sorry I’ve been kinda distant lately.”  

“It’s fine,” Gabe said. “You never really went through the teenage angst phase…I figure this ‘loner’ thing is as close as you’re gonna get.”  

Cas gave a small smile at that, well aware it was probably true. He’d never been angsty, at least not openly; he didn’t really know how to be.  

“You’re right,” Cas agreed, not even bothering to deny it. He looked out the window as they approached the school and closed his eyes for a moment.  

 _Just get through the day. Mayb_ _e no one will bother you,_ he thought to himself. 

Cas wasn’t going to tell Gabe about the bullying right now. He never planned to, either. It wasn’t like it was a huge problem that had ever led to violence or anything; it was just kids being stupid. He was cornered in the halls sometimes, called a nerd, faggot, whatever…then there was the rare purposeful tripping or spilling of someone else’s food onto him in the lunchroom. It wasn’t anything Castiel couldn’t handle on his own though, and he didn’t want to drag Gabriel into it.  

Castiel barely noticed when Gabe pulled into a parking spot at the school until the car actually turned off.  

“Alright, let’s do this,” Gabe said cheerfully, giving Castiel an encouraging pat on the back.  

Cas just nodded and got out of the car, slinging his backpack over his shoulder. Looking at the school from where he was, it seemed too large and intimidating…and in a way, it was. Now that he was a junior, there was more pressure than ever. He had to study for the SATs, get good grades, start thinking of colleges, and even apply to a few if he felt like he could get in on early admission. It was a lot to handle, and looking at Lawrence High School only reminded him of all those things at once like a giant slap to the face. _Your future’s almost here, and you’d better not fuck it up._  

Cas said goodbye to Gabriel and slowly made his way up to the building. Once he was inside, he quickly got to his first period class and sat at his desk, listening to the teacher type an email at the front of the class. Mr. Singer and Castiel had an arrangement that it was okay for him to stop by in the mornings and sit down until class started, and it was one of the few things that made the day bearable. 

In the beginning Mr. Singer had tried to make conversation with Cas, but eventually realized that it wasn’t going anywhere and stopped. Now they just sat in peaceful silence as he typed and Cas read, drew, or messed around on his phone, and he was far from complaining. 

When students started to file into the classroom before the final bell rang, Castiel lowered his head a little more to make it seem like he was engrossed in the book he was reading. It wasn’t until Uriel came in that Cas started to get pissed off. His presence alone was enough to make Cas’ skin crawl.  

Uriel sat directly behind Cas, and on the way to his seat he liked to give him a hard time. Today as he was passing by, he knocked Castiel’s book to the ground. When Cas reached down to pick it up, he kicked it across the room.  

“Fag,” Uriel muttered under his breath as he took his seat.  

All Cas could bring himself to do was sigh heavily as he got up and walked to where his book had landed. He picked it up and brought it back to his seat, practically slamming it down on his desk. He didn’t get miserable over people like Uriel bothering him anymore; he was just tired. Castiel hated that everyone thought it was okay to step all over him without any consequences, but he supposed that was the way things were. He’d gone too long without fighting back to start now.  

Just as Castiel crossed his arms and looked up at Mr. Singer, who was standing up from his desk to greet the class, another student walked in.  

“Nice of you to show up, Winchester,” Mr. Singer said when Dean came through the door. Late, as usual.  

“No problem, Mr. Singer,” Dean said, flashing a smirk and giving him a half-assed salute as he sat down next to Uriel.  

Dean Winchester was _the_ jock of the school; short blond hair, green eyes, the whole thing. He was on the football team, had a cheerleader girlfriend, a million other friends, and partied like a maniac. The only thing about him that wasn’t a red flag was the fact that he was protective of his little brother…and that wasn’t great compensation for the rest of his flaws.  

Cas could hear Uriel laugh when Dean joined him towards the back of the room and patted him on the shoulder.  

“Hey man, what’s up? You missed out at Ashley’s last night,” Uriel said. 

“I heard,” Dean replied, his voice lined with regret. “I got held up at home, couldn’t get out of it. Next time for sure though; I’ll be there.”  

“You’d better,” Uriel said. “Oh, and at practice today make sure y-.”  

And that was exactly when Castiel stopped listening. Why he’d even been listening in the first place, he wasn’t sure.  

 

 

Castiel was a little late getting to lunch since he’d had to stay behind and talk to his chemistry teacher, but that meant less time sitting there waiting for Charlie alone.  

Sure enough, by the time Cas got to the lunch room Charlie was eating at their table.  

“Cas,” Charlie greeted happily when he came over. “What’s up?”  

Charlie had been Castiel’s best friend since seventh grade, which said a lot since middle school wasn't a good time for anyone. They hit it off the second Charlie saw he was wearing a Star Trek shirt, and they’d been inseparable ever since.  

She was the only person in the school who knew Cas was gay too; the only one he could trust with that secret. Then again, Charlie was gay too, so it worked out. He knew there was never any judgment with her.  

“Not much,” Castiel said, sitting down next to her. He hadn't eaten lunch at school ever since the first incident of someone dumping their food on him. It had made him lost his appetite in that cafeteria. “How about with you?”  

“Same old,” Charlie said with a shrug. She poked Castiel in the arm and gave him a slightly concerned look. “Something’s off with you. What’s wrong?”  

Cas sighed deeply. Sometimes he hated that Charlie knew him so well.  

“Nothing,” Cas said, frustration lacing his tone. “I’ve just been stressed out with all this school stuff. You know; projects, studying, college…my all-around kind of crappy life. My parents are gone again for who knows how long.”  

“I’m sorry,” Charlie said sincerely. “You ever thought about taking some time for yourself? You’re always studying or doing something school-related. We rarely hang out anymore.”  

“I know, I’m sorry about that,” Cas said, running a hand through his hair. “Let’s get together this weekend and have a movie night like we used to.”  

“Sounds like a plan,” Charlie smiled, instantly cheered up at the promise. “But in the meantime, you should take a break every now and then. Do something fun.”  

“Define fun,” Cas said cautiously. He didn’t like to go out of his comfort zone, which was pretty minimal now that he considered it.  

“I don’t know…you ever thought about trying a social networking thing or a chat room?” Charlie asked with a shrug.  

“Are you trying to tell me I don’t have any friends?” Cas half-teased.  

“Only a little,” Charlie replied. “Humor me; you might even get a boyfriend out of it if you tried. People would like you if they really got to know you, Cas; it’s just people here that don't realize how awesome you are.” 

“Thanks,” Castiel said.  

He almost believed her.  

 

 

When Castiel got home that afternoon, he’d only been subjected to a few more hurtful comments. All in all, it hadn’t been a train wreck of a day.  

“Want me to make you something to eat?” Gabe asked once they walked through the front door. Lucifer would be at his classes by now, so they were alone until dinner. “I was gonna make myself a sandwich.”  

“Sure, that’d be great,” Cas said. He sat at the kitchen table and set his backpack down on top of it, taking his homework out.  

“God, do you always get started on homework so soon?” Gabriel asked, opening the fridge and taking out some random ingredients and bread. “You’re normally in your room so fast I never know what you do or when…kinda nice having you down here for once.”  

Cas flashed him an almost guilty smile as he took out his math worksheet for the night. He regretted not spending as much time with Gabe as he used to when they were younger.  

“Yeah, I do my homework pretty much as soon as I sit down at my desk. Makes things easier, you know? That way I can study longer later,” he said.  

“You spend too much time wrapped up in school. No wonder you freak yourself out over it,” Gabe said, putting some lettuce down on the slices of bread in front of him.  

“Well what else am I supposed to do?” Cas asked. He didn’t have any hobbies he could turn to instead.  

“Have fun?” Gabe asked with a laugh. “Be a seventeen year old kid? God, sometimes I think I’m gonna have to force you into a little rebellion one of these days.”  

“Good luck with that,” Castiel said, already working through the numerous math problems in front of him. “Don't you have any homework?” It was a question to not let the conversation die out more than anything else, but he knew Gabe would bite.   

“I’m a senior, Cas,” Gabe said, gesturing to himself proudly. “I don’t get homework. And if I do, I rarely finish. Teachers want you out of there once you get to the last year of high school; they’re not gonna fail you.  

Cas nodded and went back to his work, thanking Gabe when he brought his food over. He heard his older brother go sit down on the couch, turning on the TV while he ate, but Cas remained where he was at the table.  

When Cas was done with his homework he put his plate in the kitchen and walked upstairs to his room, deciding to take Charlie’s advice and try to talk someone who wasn’t her or family.  

He turned on his laptop and sat on his bed, trying to figure out where he was supposed to start. He didn’t want to make an account on anything where people would know who he was…that would kind of defeat the purpose of others getting to know the real him. Not to mention he didn’t want anyone from school to find him.  

When he logged onto the computer, he stared at his homepage for a long time. How was he supposed to search for something when he didn't know what it was? After a while of looking intently at the monitor, he typed _chat rooms for teenagers_ into the search bar. 

It was lame, he knew that, but he might as well start off there. He scrolled through the results and found site after site that looked exactly the same. Cas wasn’t interested in video chatting anyone, and he wanted to avoid the perverts of the internet if at all possible.  

After about an hour of searching, Cas finally came across a chat room that he thought he could handle. It was called _Anonymous T_ _eens_ _,_ and it was by far the least sketchy website he’d come across. He had to make an account, which at first made him think that kind of defeated the purpose of being “anonymous”, but there was no need for an actual name; only a username, which he assumed was fair enough.  

After making an account, he went into the main chat area where it was supposed to pair you with someone else at random and let the two of you talk until someone clicked the “leave chat” button.  

For whatever reason, it was hard for Cas to enter the chat room. Part of him thought it was admitting defeat; that it was acknowledging no one around here would like him apart from Charlie. Then again, was it really such a bad thing that people in a shitty town wouldn’t give him a second thought? Maybe he needed friends that weren’t from around here to remind him there’s more out there. 

He took a deep breath and the final thought that crossed his mind before entering the chat was _screw it_.  

Suddenly there he was, paired with a random stranger. Cas wasn’t about to be the first to talk, so he watched the monitor and waited to see if whoever he was with would say something first. After a minute, the other person left.  

 _I guess they didn’t want to be the first one to go either_ , Cas thought. He was less hesitant when he joined the chat again, hoping whoever was on the other end of this conversation would be braver than he was.  

This time, the second he entered the new chat, he saw that the other person had already begun to type. That had to be a good sign. After a few seconds, a message flashed across the screen.  

 **Hunter67** **– Hey, what’s up?**  


	2. What Happened There?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all the positive feedback I've been getting about the first chapter! <3 It's so amazing to know that you want me to continue, and believe me I'll go for as long as I can with all of these great encouragements :)

Castiel found himself smiling the simple sentence. That was more than any stranger in Lawrence had said to him in the last few years.  

 **BlueWings – Not much, you?**  

It was kind of crazy how much of a rush sending that message gave him. The idea that he was talking with another person who couldn’t judge him based on anything other than what he told him was a thrill.  

 **Hunter67 – Same, I just got home from school.**  

Cas glanced at the clock. It was 4:57 pm.  

 **BlueWings – Isn’t it kind of late to get home from school? Unless you live in** **Europe or something and my time zone** **is different from yours.**  

 **Hunter67 – Nah I live in the US. It’s 5 pm for me, so yeah it’s a little late, but I had practice.**  

 **BlueWings –** **For a sport, I'm guessing** **?**  

 **Hunter67 – Yeah, football. Generic, I know.**  

 **BlueWings – Football’s cool. I don’t really have the athletic ability to play it though…or any sport for that matter.**  

 **Hunter67** **–** **Haha** **well if it helps, I don’t have the best grades in the world. Never been good at studying.**  

Castiel felt the corners of his mouth go up in a momentary smile at the comment. So far this wasn’t too bad…it was a whole lot easier than he thought it was going to be, and the stranger wasn’t totally put off by him like he was afraid of.  

 **BlueWings – Studying is all I do…gets boring pretty quickly.**  

 **Hunter67 – Then go out to a party or movie or something. I couldn’t imagine staying in all the time studying. That’d be torture.**  

Cas huffed a laugh as he replied, **BlueWings – Parties are torture for me, if you can believe that.**  

 **Hunter67 – I get it** **, t** **hey can be a little crazy sometimes** **. H** **onestly** **,** **I just wanna be out of the house whenever I can.**  

Cas bit his bottom lip as he thought of what to say to that. Whoever was talking to him was getting kind of personal…was he supposed to guess that they were abused or something? That was a pretty heavy topic to bring up right off the bat.  

 **BlueWings – Does that mean you’ve got a bad home situation?**  

 **Hunter67 – Not really. I mean, my parents and brother are fine and everything** **...i** **t’s just that when I’m around them I feel like I have to pretend to be someone I’m not.**  

 **BlueWings** **– I’m sorry, that** **sucks** **. That’s how I felt around my family for a while too.**  

 **Hunter67 – What changed?**  

Cas thought about what he should answer. If he said told the truth to anyone in this town he would get beaten up without a second thought, so he’d conditioned himself to lie. But now that he was actually here, it might be a little therapeutic to be honest for once…it wasn’t like he’d talk to Hunter67 ever again, so who cared what he thought? 

 **BlueWings – I told them I was gay. That’s what I felt so uncomfortable about, so one day I just…told them. Things were easier after that.**  

 **Hunter67 – And your family was just okay with** **i** **t?**  

 **BlueWings – I guess. My mom said she always knew and my dad said “good for you, son.” That was kind of the end of it. Sometimes I wonder if they heard me right.**  

 **Hunter67 – You’re really lucky like that. I don’t know what my parents would do, but I wouldn’t wanna risk them finding out.**  

 _Did they mean for that to slip?_  

Castiel cautiously typed, **BlueWings – So you’re gay too?**  

After what felt like ages but was probably less than a minute, a new message flashed across the screen.  

 **Hunter67 – Yeah.**  

 **BlueWings – Are you a guy or a girl? Just out of curiosity.**  

 **Hunter67 – Guy. You?**  

 **BlueWings – Guy. Guess we can relate on a new level, huh?**  

 **Hunter67 – Yeah. I’ve never ac** **tually told anyone that before…it feels kinda weird.**  

 **BlueWings** **–** **I know. Good at the same time though, right?**  

 **Hunter67 –** **Exactly.**  

 **Hunter67 – Does this mean we get to talk about guy celebrity crushes now? ;)**  

Cas chuckled and shook his head, even though he knew the stranger wouldn’t be able to see. He knew he was probably joking, but he might as well play along.  

 **BlueWings – If you want** **. Mine’s probably** **Chris Evans** **.**  

 **Hunter67 – Seriously? He’s pretty hot. I guess mine’s** **Tom** **Hiddleston** **if I had to pick one.**  

 **BlueWings – He’s hot too** **haha** **.** **I still haven’t seen the second Thor movie though.**  

 **Hunter67 – Dude, are you kidding? It’s even better than the first one.**  

Cas ran his fingers through his hair and sighed. He couldn’t believe all it took was signing up for a random website and now he was talking with another gay guy about superheroes. Today was definitely getting better.  

 **BlueWings – So you like The Avengers too then?**  

 **Hunter67 – Hell yeah, who doesn’t? Iron Man is the shit, but they’re all great.**  

 **BlueWings – They are. Hawkeye is** **way too** **underrated.**  

 **Hunter67 – I know, right? He’s such a badass. Who cares if h** **e's not indestructible** **?** **He can do way** **more than I** **ever could on that team.** **I failed my archery unit in PE.**  

Cas remembered his own archery unit a little too well. He’d made a complete fool of himself, hitting nowhere near the middle of the target on every shot. It was something Cas wanted to learn, but never had the time or patience for and hadn’t gotten around to it since. 

 **BlueWings – Me too, it was awful. If I could shoot arrows that accurately, I’d be pretty proud of myself.**  

 **Hunter67 – Same. I’d rather be one of the avengers than a student at a shitty high school, that’s for sure.**  

 **BlueWings –** **The f** **eeling’s mutual. High school definitely hasn’t been easy on me so far.**  

  **Hunter67 – Me neither. It sucks.**  

 **BlueWings – Yeah, it does.**  

Castiel waited a moment. What the hell else was he supposed to say? He’d always been terrible at holding out conversations, and online ones were apparently no exception. It was probably best to just make an excuse and leave while he hadn’t lost the other guy yet.  

 **BlueWings – Sorry, I’ve got to go. This was fun.**  

Just as Castiel was about to leave the chat, a message went across the screen again. 

 **Hunter67 – Wait.** **Can I** **add you? I** **t'd be cool to** **talk again sometime.**  

 _You can add people on here?_   

 **BlueWings – Sure, I’d l** **ik** **e that. Talk to you soon** **.**  

 **Hunter67 – Talk to you soon.**  

Cas left the chat as soon as Hunter67 signed off with him and spun around in his chair so he was facing the bed. Had he just made a friend? Even if he hadn’t, he was closer to having one than he was a few hours ago.  

Just then, he heard a small ding from his laptop and spun back around.  

 ***Hunter67 wants to add you to their chat list. Accept or Deny?***  

Cas accepted the request without a second thought and logged off the computer, afraid that if he spent another few minutes online he would go back and try to talk to him again.  

“I should call Charlie,” Cas said to himself, taking out his phone. “It was her idea in the first place.”  

He and Charlie rarely ever texted. They were both awkward and hated how short and forced people sounded when they did. Besides, calling never really interrupted anything major for either of them.  

Castiel scrolled through his contacts until he got to Charlie and pressed “call”, holding the phone up to his ear.  

“Cassie,” Charlie answered after the second ring. She was the only person other than Gabriel who he ever let get away with calling him that. “What’s up?”  

“I took your advice and made an account on a chat website,” Cas told her. 

“Wait, you actually did it?” Charlie asked in surprise. “Good for you, Cas. How'd it go, meet anyone interesting? They’d better not outshine me.”  

“No one could ever outshine you,” Cas laughed. “I only talked to one guy, but it went pretty well. I wouldn’t say we’re friends, but he added me when I said I had to go so I think that’s a good sign.”  

“Definitely,” Charlie agreed. Cas could practically hear her nodding. “What did you guys talk about?”  

“Random stuff. Superheroes, sports…being gay,” Castiel said, almost hoping Charlie hadn’t heard that last one.  

“Wait, hold on. You told him you were gay?” Charlie asked excitedly. “And he is too?”  

“Yeah,” Castiel said awkwardly, picking at the hem of his shirt. “I mean, it’s easier to admit it when you don’t know who you’re talking to…I was just lucky that he turned out to be gay too.”  

“Yeah you were,” Charlie agreed. “So does that mean you guys had even more to talk about? Did you tell him any other secrets?”  

“No,” Castiel chuckled. “It’s not like I’m gonna spill my guts to him after knowing him for all of ten minutes.”  

“But you’re gonna talk again, right?” Charlie pressed.  

“I don’t know…” Cas said uncertainly. He hadn’t given it much thought. “I’d like to, don’t get me wrong, but I’m not gonna be the first one to message him.”  

“Sometimes you’ve gotta step outside of your comfort zone, Cas. It’s healthy,” Charlie pointed out.  

“I stepped out of my comfort zone going on that site in the first place,” Cas said. “If he wants to message me again, he can take the first step.”  

Charlie sighed audibly into the phone, but continued on asking, “Did you at least get a name?”  

“No. His username’s Hunter67 though,” Castiel replied.  

“Hot,” Charlie said, huffing out a laugh. “Well you know I’m proud of you for doing that, right? And whether he messages you again or not, you did awesome getting out there.”  

“Thanks,” Cas said, feeling himself blush. He didn’t like getting compliments, but he knew better than to deny Charlie when she was trying to tell someone they did a good job.  

“You’re welcome,” Charlie said, her smile obvious. “So other than that, what’s up?”  

“Nothing, really,” Castiel said. “What about you?”  

“Not a whole lot. I’m thinking about asking that new girl Dorothy out though…I think she might be into me,” Charlie said.  

“She’d be crazy not to like you,” Castiel said supportively. “She’s cute; you should do it, see what happens.”  

“I will,” Charlie said more confidently. “But for our movie night, I was thinking we could have a classic horror fest. You can just come home with me tomorrow and we'll go from there.”  

 

 

They talked for another few minutes about their plans for the weekend including movies, snacks, and all the necessities. It was just what Castiel needed to get his mind off of everything that had been stressing him out lately. Whenever he was with Charlie, he could forget anything that bothered him.  

When Cas heard Gabe calling him from downstairs, he groaned into the phone.  

“I’ve gotta go Charlie,” Cas said reluctantly. “As much as I wanna talk to you for the rest of the night, I have to have dinner with Gabe and Luc.”  

“Alright,” Charlie groaned back. “I’ll see you tomorrow at school then. Bring your stuff so you can put it in my car before first period.”  

“Sounds good. Bye,” Castiel said, hanging up after she returned the sentiment.  

When Castiel got downstairs, Gabe and Lucifer were already eating at the table.  

“Sorry bro. You snooze you lose. There’s still some pasta on the stove though,” Gabe said, gesturing to the giant pot that was still sitting in its place on the stovetop.  

“Thanks,” Cas said, walking over and serving himself some pasta. He sat down next to Gabe, across from Lucifer. “How were classes?”  

“The usual,” Lucifer replied with a shrug. “I’m just glad I’m finally home. Got any plans this weekend?” 

“Yeah, I’m staying at Charlie’s tomorrow for a movie night. Why?” Castiel asked hesitantly.  

“You wanna tell him, Gabe?” Lucifer asked, sparing a glance at the other brother.  

“Whatever it is, I’m not doing it,” Cas said firmly. He’d learned last year when Gabe tried to get him into a strip club that anything he wanted him to do was likely just some form of torture.  

“No, you’ll like this,” Gabe said excitedly, putting his fork down and swallowing the bite of food he had in his mouth. He rubbed his hands together like he was trying to build some sense of anticipation that Castiel didn’t feel. “I got you a date!”  

Cas blinked as the words went through his mind over and over. They still didn’t make sense.  

“A date?” Castiel asked, looking at Gabe in disbelief. He wasn’t sure whether he should be pissed off or grateful. He could get a date on his own when he was ready for it, and didn’t need Gabe to do everything for him. “With who?”  

“Friend of a friend,” Gabe said, taking another bite of food. “His name’s Benny, and he lives like twenty minutes from here.”  

“So you set me up on a blind date with some guy that _you_  haven’t even met?” Castiel asked, looking at Gabe with judgment in his eyes.  

“Hey, don’t be mad at me. I have it on good authority that he’s really nice. Hot too, so you’re welcome,” Gabe added proudly. “I asked around and other people know him too; it’s not like I took Crowley’s word for it and just set it up. Give me some credit, Cassie.”  

“I don’t want a boyfriend, Gabe,” Castiel argued, though it was only partially true. He wouldn’t mind having a boyfriend, but he didn’t want him to be someone that his brother picked out. Part of Cas wanted to brag that he’d met someone online. Not that it was anything special, or even a more-than-one-time conversation, but just to say that he could put himself out there and meet people on his own. “Besides, I wouldn’t do well on a date and I’m already hanging out with Charlie.”  

“You're hanging out with her tomorrow,” Gabe said. “The date’s Saturday at seven, so no worries.”  

Cas groaned and put his head in his hands for a moment. “Why are you doing this to me? I’m perfectly fine being alone…I don’t need anyone else,” he said.  

“We know you don’t _need_ anyone,” Lucifer cut in, probably trying to break apart a fight before it started. “We just thought it would be nice if you had someone other than us and Charlie. You might like it.”  

“I’m not gonna like it; I can tell you that much right now,” Castiel said. “And what do you mean, ‘we’? Did you guys talk about this without me?”  

“A little,” Gabriel admitted with a shrug. “I knew you wouldn’t be on board if I brought it up, so I figured Luc would be the best guy to bounce my idea off of. Plus it’s not like we were conspiring against you, Cas. We were thinking of ways to make you happy. You’re always holed up in your room like some hermit studying for the SATs and stuff. Which you don’t even have to take until spring.”  

“I like to be prepared,” Castiel defended himself.  

“And I like to make sure you don’t go insane when you could be having fun,” Gabe said. “I’m not telling you to live happily ever after with the guy, I’m just asking you to go out with him. One time. And it won’t even be awkward if you don’t want to see him again because you won’t have him around school or anything.”  

Cas took a deep breath as he thought it through. Gabe did have a point, as much as he hated to admit it. It would be nice to have someone around that he could talk to that wasn’t family or his best friend.  

After a long moment of silence, Castiel said, “Fine, I’ll go.” It was one of the most hesitant answers he’d ever given, and he knew the second Gabe held up his fist in victory that he was going to regret this. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oooh a date with Benny? Slight conflict, don't you think? Mwahaha.  
> I hope you liked it! Please keep commenting, leaving kudos, etc. since it's always nice to think that people want to see more :) Talk to you again next week!
> 
> castielfuckingnovak.tumblr.com


	3. Getting to Know You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! My chapter notes are freaking out and won't let me type them for whatever reason so I'll just put them here :) 
> 
> Here's chapter three, and we even get a little peak at Dean's life during the last half of it. Hope you all find it interesting and please keep up the awesome amount of comments, kudos, etc. :D It's great to see that you're all liking it so thanks for everything so far! 
> 
> castielfuckingnovak.tumblr.com

The next day, Castiel took his things out of Gabe’s car and slung them over his shoulder before looking at Charlie.  

“Are you ready for a night of awesome movies?” Charlie asked. 

“More than you know,” Castiel said, running a hand through his hair. “Come on, let’s go.”  

“Great,” Charlie said, gesturing for Cas to follow her towards her car. “How was school? No one gave you a rough time, did they?”  

“No more so than usual,” Cas shrugged as they walked, glancing down at the pavement. “Why are you so protective over me anyway?”  

“Because you’re a great guy, and you shouldn’t have to go through whatever those jocks do to you,” Charlie pointed out. Cas was just happy they were getting this part of the conversation out of the way now.  

“It’s not like they hurt me. I’m fine, Charlie, really,” Castiel said as they arrived at her car. He put his overnight bag and backpack in the backseat and sat down in the front with her. “By the way, there’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you.”  

“Is it a serious thing or a fun thing?” Charlie asked as she started the car and backed out of her spot.  

“A fun thing, I guess. I mean, it’s supposed to be fun for me. You’ll definitely like it,” Cas said. 

“Well spit it out, Novak,” Charlie said enthusiastically as they turned out of the school and were finally off campus.  

“Gabe kind of set me up on a blind date,” Cas told her.  

“He _what_?” Charlie asked in disbelief, glancing over at him.  

“Set me up on a blind date,” Cas repeated. “With someone named Benny. He doesn’t go to school with us.” 

“Benny…can’t say I’ve ever heard of him,” Charlie replied. “But why wouldn’t that be fun for you?”  

“You know I don’t do well with people. You and my brothers are the only ones who haven’t been completely turned off by talking to me, and that’s only if I can get past my social anxiety enough to speak,” Castiel said, propping his arm up on the car door.  

“Well I think it’ll be awesome,” Charlie said confidently. She waited a beat and then carefully asked, “This isn’t because you’re hung up on that guy from the other day, is it?”  

Cas didn’t reply right away. He’d stayed up late thinking about it, sure, but wasn’t willing to accept it. Even though he and Hunter67 had hit it off, that couldn’t be the reason.  

“I don’t know,” Castiel answered honestly. “That would be crazy though, right? We talked once; that can’t be enough for me to think about him that way.” 

“You never know. Love at first sight and all that,” Charlie said jokingly, sparing a glance at him. “You know I don’t believe in that, but it’s not crazy. You’re not ‘out there’, so it would make sense that the first person you bond with you feel kind of attracted to. Sure he hasn’t literally _seen_ you, but he’s getting to know the real you, which is better.”  

Cas considered what Charlie was saying, and had to admit she had a point.  

“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” Cas said. “I wouldn’t say I like him that way, I just…feel like he matters to me. And that there’s the potential to feel something more than I already do.”  

“Then let yourself feel that way, Cas,” Charlie said like it was the easiest thing in the world. “Let yourself fall a little bit; it’s fun. It’s a risk, but it’s worth every second.” 

“If you say so,” Castiel shrugged as they turned into her driveway.  

“I’ve got an idea,” Charlie said, turning the car off and looking over at Cas properly. “Let’s talk to this mysterious guy tonight.”  

“Wha-…talk to him?” Castiel asked, filled with a sudden sense of anxiety. “But what if he’s not on tonight? Or just doesn’t want to talk to me?”  

“If you’re that freaked out then you don’t have to message him first,” Charlie said. “Let’s just log onto your account on my computer while we watch movies and if he messages you first, we’ll talk to him…if you’re okay with me seeing what you say.”  

“Yeah, I trust you,” Castiel said. “Come on, let’s get out and make sure we’ve got all the food and soda we’ll need to get through the night.”  

“Good idea,” Charlie said, getting out of the car and grabbing her backpack from the backseat while Cas took his things.  

Once they were inside, Charlie closed the door and threw her stuff on the ground.  

“My parents aren’t home,” she said, heading straight for the kitchen. “They’ll be back by eleven, but for the most part we’ve got the place to ourselves.”  

“If only we had people to invite for a giant party filled with booze and pot,” Castiel said sarcastically as he followed her and set his things down at the bottom of the staircase.  

“If only,” Charlie joked back as she opened the pantry and got out their usual snacks: popcorn, a bag of assorted chocolate bars, peanut butter cups, red licorice, and potato chips.  

“You really went all out,” Cas smiled at all the food.  

“Well duh. We can’t half-ass a movie night, especially when this one is so overdue,” Charlie said, putting the popcorn in the microwave. “If we get through all the movies and are still awake I might have to introduce you to Dexter.”  

“Ah, the series I’ve been putting off for months on end that you swear is gonna change my life,” Cas said knowingly.  

“It will,” Charlie insisted. “Trust me.”  

When she took the popcorn out and started pouring it into a bowl, she looked over at Cas.  

“You know, there’s something I’ve always wanted to ask you,” Charlie said, looking at him inquisitively.  

“Is it something I’m gonna feel awkward hearing?” he asked.  

“No. I’ve just always been curious,” Charlie said, eating a piece of popcorn. “Are there any guys at school that you think are hot? You never talk about them, and I’m always talking your ear off about Dorothy.”  

“Uh…not really. I’ve looked at a few guys more than once, but most of them have bullied me at some point, so that kind of detracts from my interest,” Castiel said with a soft laugh.  

“Most of them? Who’s left?” Charlie pressed, excitement in her eyes.  

“You’ll laugh at me, but I’ve never had a real problem with Dean Winchester,” Cas shrugged. 

“Really? Never would’ve pegged you for liking his type,” Charlie said with interest.  

“I don't have a type, but he’s hot,” Cas said, the phrase sitting strangely on his tongue. 

“Hot?” Charlie questioned. When Cas shot her a look, she put her hands up innocently. “I’ve just never heard you say that before. But yeah, he’s pretty hot. I don’t know anyone who doesn’t think so.” 

“Do _you_ think he’s hot?” Castiel asked.  

“I might be a lesbian, but I’m not blind. He’s the hottest guy we have around here,” Charlie said. “Have you ever talked to him?”  

“Of course not. And I don’t plan to either,” Castiel said. “It’s just easier that way. I'm done talking about that though; let’s go upstairs. I’m ready to watch some movies.” 

“Me too,” Charlie said, taking the immense amount of food in her arms. “Grab drinks from the fridge and I’ll meet you up there.”  

Cas nodded and went to the fridge, getting out a two liter bottle of soda and two water bottles as he made his way upstairs to Charlie’s room.  

Once he was inside, he closed the door and sat down next to her. Luckily for them Charlie had a TV in her room, so they could watch all their movies here without being interrupted when her parents came home.  

“What are we going with first?” Cas asked, opening the bottle of soda and taking a sip.  

“I was thinking My Bloody Valentine,” Charlie said, holding it up. “I’ve heard it’s awesome and terrifying.”  

“Great, get it ready,” Cas said, crossing his legs.  

“Not yet,” Charlie said teasingly, pointing to her laptop. “Don’t think I’d forget that you were gonna log onto your account and wait for this guy to message you.”  

“Just when I thought I could get it by you,” Cas laughed.  

He stood up and walked over to Charlie’s laptop, taking a moment to log into Anonymous Teens.  

“Alright, I’m in. I don’t know what happens when I get a message, but I’m guessing there’ll be some sort of noise," he said.  

“Good, the movie’s ready,” Charlie said as she pressed play.  

Cas turned the lights off before sitting down next to her again.  

“This had better not be too terrifying,” he said in warning. As much as he liked horror movies, he'd never been great with them if they were really intense. 

 

 

Dean was trying to find his way through the crowd at a party, looking for Lisa. He’d never been to whoever’s house this was, so he aimlessly wandered around, hoping he’d come across someone familiar.  

Just as Dean was about to give up and go find something to drink, he saw Lisa out of the corner of his eye.  

“Fucking finally,” he muttered. Why she insisted on meeting him there he had no idea. “Lisa!”  

She turned away from the girl she was talking to and beamed at Dean. After she said a brief a goodbye to her friend she stumbled over to him, a beer in her hand. 

“Dean,” Lisa slurred, leaning into his chest.  

“Looks like you’re having a pretty good time,” Dean laughed, putting his hands on her hips to steady her.  

“I’m having a _great_ time,” Lisa said, looking around the room. “Let’s go sit on the couch. I don’t want to stand anymore.”  

“Alright,” Dean said, placing his hand on the small of her back as they walked over to the couch in the living room and sat down.  

“How come we never go out anymore?” Lisa asked, downing the rest of her beer and setting the empty cup on the coffee table in front of them. “We always meet at places like this now.”  

Dean couldn’t tell her the real reason, of course. How could he? He couldn’t explain to anyone that he was gay, and lately it had been getting harder and harder for him to pretend that he wasn’t. This was how things were _supposed_ to go in high school, with the cheerleader and the football player, but he wasn't happy. 

Right now he just wanted to be at home, talking to BlueWings. It was strange, but ever since they’d spoken the other day Dean couldn’t shake the feeling that something was different between them. He was already more attracted to whoever this stranger was than he’d been to Lisa in a long time.  

“I just don’t like dates,” Dean lied. That was what he’d been going with for the past few weeks, but he was planning on breaking up with her soon. “Besides, never a dull moment at a party.”  

“But it’s not private,” Lisa complained, running her hand down Dean’s shirt and resting it right above his waistband. “And we could be having so much more fun if we were at your house right now.”  

Dean sighed, not wanting to have to go through with this. “I know, but-.” 

“Are your parents home?” Lisa asked, a gleam in her eyes.  

“No, but let's just stay here,” Dean said, realizing the mistake as soon as it came out of his mouth.  

“Why?” Lisa questioned, quick to anger from how much she'd been drinking. She retracted her hand and sat up straighter, glaring at him.  

Dean sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. “Just-…my little brother’s home,” he said, knowing it was a weak excuse.  

“We’ll be quiet,” Lisa said.  

“That’s not what I mean,” Dean told her. It came out a lot more exasperated than he intended, and he knew he was in trouble.  

“Then what _do_ you mean?” Lisa asked, narrowing her eyes at him. “Because I know you’re not saying that you’d rather be at a party than in your room with me when we haven't been alone in weeks.”  

Dean sighed and glanced away for a second. “That’s not it either,” he said, looking at her again. “I just don’t want to have one of those nights where all we do is fuck and then you leave. Is that too much to ask?” 

“It is when you haven’t fucked me in months!” Lisa shouted. “I don’t know what the hell your problem is, Dean. Do you wanna break up with me or something? Because if you do, you should say it to my face rather than string me along like this. I see how you flinch whenever I try to make a move on you, so why don’t you just admit it? Admit that you don’t like me anymore and get it over with!”  

“Lisa, I-…” Dean trailed off. He didn’t know how he was supposed to keep up with this. Even though he wanted to break up with her, he couldn’t. Not without everyone getting suspicious about why. “I still like you; I just haven’t been in the mood lately.”  

“Haven’t been in the mood,” Lisa repeated, not buying a word of it. “Well you know what? I’m not in the mood for this. I know you’re lying to me Dean, and that makes this whole thing even worse for you. We’re done.”  

“Wh…you’re breaking up with me?” Dean asked.  

As relieved as he was, there was a clenching feeling in his chest at the thought. Now what was he supposed to do? There was no way he could force himself to get a new girlfriend; that had been hellish enough with Lisa.  

“Yeah, I am. I don’t know what your problem is, but I’m sick of feeling like I come second to everything. Your brother, your friends…I deserve better,” Lisa said, standing up.  

“But y-…” Dean trailed off as he stood. He realized there was no point in arguing though, and didn’t want to make a scene. His voice dropped and he conceded, “You’re right.”  

“Bye, Dean,” Lisa said, turning around and walking away.  

Once she was out of sight, Dean was at a loss for what to do. Should he be ecstatic or depressed? Should he find someone he knew and tell them, or just go home? Now that he thought about it, he didn’t want anyone else to know just yet. He wasn’t sure how to react, and he didn’t want to face anyone asking what happened.  

Dean made his way out of the house when suddenly he felt someone lay a hand on his shoulder. When he turned around, he had to hide his disappointment at seeing Uriel.  

“Hey man, what are you doing here?” Uriel asked, the smell of alcohol strong on his breath.  

“Uh, nothing. I was just on my way out,” Dean said, trying to get away as soon as possible.  

“What? Come on man, stay a bit. I’ll get you a drink; you look like you could use one,” Uriel said, glancing around the room for someone with drinks.  

“No, I’m good. I already had one and I’m driving home, so I’ll see you Monday,” Dean said, not waiting for a response before he turned and left. Luckily there were so many people there that he was able to escape without anyone else seeing him.  

Once Dean was outside, he felt like he could finally breathe again. He could still hear the music from inside, but when he got to his car all he could make out was a faint thump of the bass.  

 _I guess I’m free now. Kind of_ , he thought to himself as he got behind the wheel and started the car. He let it warm up for a few minutes since the late November air was colder than usual.  

Dean drove away soon afterwards, turning on his car radio and selecting a random cassette of Led Zeppelin.  

 _At least now I can just focus on getting home an_ _d not think about Lisa_ _. I don’t have to worry about her_ _figuring out that I’ve never been into girls_ _…then again, if anyone’s gonna figure that out, it would be Uriel. The bastard’s always trying to hook me up with someone, and now that’s only gonna get worse._  

It wasn’t that he didn’t appreciate Uriel’s friendship, because he did. It was the fact that he was always trying to stick his nose where it didn’t belong that got to him. Uriel wouldn’t let Dean get up from the lunch table to go to the bathroom without asking where he was going.  

When Dean got home, he sighed and turned the car off. His parents were undoubtedly asleep by now, and Sam was at a friend’s house overnight, so he was virtually alone 

He went to the fridge and got a beer before he headed upstairs to his room. He sat down at his desk and debated what the hell he was going to do now. This was usually the point when he’d ask Sam to come in and join him.  

Dean opened his laptop and stared at it for a while before an idea struck him. There was no guarantee that BlueWings would even be online, but it was worth a shot, right?  

He logged into Anonymous Teens and felt his heart speed up slightly when he saw that BlueWings was there. Dean clicked on the stranger’s username and a chat log opened.  

**Hunter67 – Hey.**


	4. To See Your Face

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally got my chapter notes back in order everyone haha :) Here's chapter four, and I hope you all like it!

Dean knew he shouldn’t be paranoid about this, but when he didn’t get a reply after about thirty seconds he was ready to leave the chat and never talk to this guy again. His cursor was hovering over the “leave chat” button when suddenly his computer dinged.

**BlueWings – Hey, what’s up?**

Dean smiled in relief and clicked the message box.

**Hunter67 – Just got home. You?**

**BlueWings – Watching a movie. You’ve got a habit of getting home late, don’t you?**

He smiled softly at the computer as he debated how much he should tell BlueWings.

**Hunter67 – I guess I do. I was at a party, but some shit went down so I came home and now I’m talking to you. What movie are you watching?**

**BlueWings – Sinister. Ever seen it?**

**Hunter67 – Yeah, that’s the one with the demon that lives in pictures and stuff, right? That was fucked up.**

**BlueWings – Yeah, it’s one of my favorites.**

Dean stared at the screen for a while, not sure where he was supposed to take the conversation from there. Just as he was about to ask some random question, he got another message.

**BlueWings – What happened at the party?**

Dean sighed as he thought about what a loaded question that was before he realized that with BlueWings, it wasn’t much of a loaded question at all. He already knew that he was gay; there was nothing for Dean to be afraid of him finding out.

**Hunter67 – My girlfriend broke up with me.**

**BlueWings – Girlfriend?**

**Hunter67 – Yeah. She was a cover, mainly…does that make me a bad person?**

Dean had been wondering that for a while. Even though he had good intentions, well…there was a saying for that. He was kept up at night now and then questioning whether he was right or wrong for letting Lisa and the school believe that he liked her. Sure it was for his own personal comfort and gain, but it made him feel safer.

The only gay kid they knew of at school had been completely shut out of everyone’s lives and become the ultimate outcast when he let them all know. He got bullied every day, never talked to anyone, and always seemed like he was down on himself. Dean couldn’t blame him, but he didn’t want that kind of life either. He didn’t want to be himself if it meant he’d be a target.

**BlueWings – Not at all. It’s sad that you have to have a cover, but it makes sense. Especially since you’re not out.**

**Hunter67 – Thanks. I feel like shit for leading her on, but where I live if anyone found out I was gay that would be the end of me.**

**BlueWings – I know the feeling. I live in Lawrence, Kansas…if I set foot outside my house, it’s practically crawling with homophobes.**

Dean had to re-read that message several times before he could breathe again. Whoever this was lived in Lawrence too…what were the odds? What if he knew them? Even worse, what if they went to the same school? That would mean someone knew and could use it against him…but maybe he was just being paranoid.

**Hunter67 – I live in Lawrence too…**

After a solid three minutes, timed on the clock in the bottom right corner of Dean’s laptop, he got a reply.

**BlueWings – Really?**

_Can’t get much more generic and safe than that, can you?_

**Hunter67 – Yeah.**

**BlueWings – This is kind of a stab in the dark, but would you ever…want to meet up sometime? I could use someone else to talk to in real life, you know?**

That was the real question. Did Dean want to meet up? It would be risky, but then again…it was kind of pointless to keep talking to BlueWings online if he refused to see him in person. Besides, what harm could having coffee together do?

**Hunter67 – Yeah, I do. I don’t see why we couldn’t…but could it be this weekend? It seems like a lot to cram into a week.**

**BlueWings – Sure thing. When and where?**

Dean thought it through for a moment before deciding. Where would he not run into anyone he knew, least of all his father?

**Hunter67 – You know that café on 15 th street? **

**BlueWings – Yeah, the one with the fireplace?**

**Hunter67 – That’s the one. Saturday, 2 o’clock?**

**BlueWings – Sounds great.**

**BlueWings – I never thought I’d really get to meet someone else like me here.**

Dean gave a small laugh as the realization of what he’d just done came over him. He was going to meet a stranger who was gay too in a coffee shop. If someone had told him he’d be doing this a month ago, he would’ve laughed in their face.

This was a relief though. It meant that now he could potentially have a friend who understood the real him. Even though Dean’s mind wanted to wander into the possibility of a boyfriend, he refused to entertain the thought. If he ever started to feel that way about BlueWings, they could cross that bridge when they came to it.

**Hunter67 – Me neither. It’s kinda nice, though. I mean, I knew there must be other gay kids here, but I think they’re all too terrified to come out. Makes it hard to meet them.**

**BlueWings – Tell me about it.**

**Hunter67 – You don’t know any other gay guys either?**

**BlueWings – Guys, no. My best friend’s gay, but she’s a girl.**

Well that was a first. Part of Dean was envious that BlueWings had someone in his everyday life that he could talk to about himself who really understood. Then again, this weekend he could start to have the same thing.

**Hunter67 – That’s awesome. How’d you manage to get her to tell you she was gay? Seems like you’d have to pry it out of anyone around here.**

**BlueWings – I’ve known her since we were little, so we just kind of got each other. When I told her I was gay she told me she’d known for years and that she was too. I had been suspicious, but it was nice to know that I wasn’t the only one confessing something.**

**Hunter67 – Got that right. Maybe I can meet her sometime.**

**BlueWings – I think she’d love that, if we hit it off.**

Dean bit his lower lip as he typed out, **Hunter67 – Haven’t we already?**

 

 

On Saturday, Cas was nervous about his date to say the least. It wasn’t helping that he’d spoken to Hunter67 the other night and now was planning on meeting him in person, so now he was distracted by that too.

Regardless, Castiel wanted to make a good first impression. He was staring at his closet with an exasperated look on his face.

_What the hell do I even wear on a date?_

After a few minutes of silent debate with himself he settled on a long-sleeved shirt and jeans and walked downstairs.

“Looking good,” Gabe said with a whistle when he saw Cas.

“I wear stuff like this all the time, Gabe,” Castiel shrugged, sitting down on the couch in the living room next to his brother.

“Yeah, but now you’re gonna meet a potential boyfriend,” Gabe pointed out, patting him on the shoulder.

“I still can’t believe you talked me into this. I’m gonna disappoint him compared to whatever expectations you put in his head,” Cas said, crossing his legs to get comfortable.

“I already warned him that you’re socially awkward as hell, so he should have a few conversation starters at the ready,” Gabe said. He opened his mouth to say something else when the doorbell rang.

“He’s here,” Gabe said enthusiastically as he glanced at the door. “Go answer it.”

“You’re way more excited about this than I am,” Castiel chuckled.

“Well someone has to be,” Gabe said, gesturing to the door.

Cas took a deep breath and walked over to the front entrance of the house and opened the door.

“Hey,” Benny said with a small smile. He had a slight accent that Cas already couldn’t deny was attractive. “You must be Castiel. I’m Benny.”

“Nice to meet you Benny,” Cas said. So far, he was impressed. Benny was good looking, polite…maybe Gabe knew what he was doing after all.

“You too, gorgeous,” Benny replied easily.

Cas felt himself blush as he grabbed his coat from the rack next to the door. “We’re leaving, Gabe. See you later tonight,” he called back.

“See ya bro,” Gabe said, throwing up a hand and waving goodbye to them.

“I’m gonna apologize in advance for anything awkward tonight,” Castiel said with a slightly forced laugh. “I’m new to the whole ‘blind date’ thing…dating in general, actually.”

“Me too, for the blind date thing,” Benny said, giving Cas a reassuring smile. “But trust me, we’ll be fine.”

“I’ll take your word for it,” Cas said. “What are we doing tonight, by the way?”

“I was thinking we could go out to dinner and a movie?” Benny asked. “Kind of typical, I know, but I don’t see anything wrong with the basics. Besides, since we don’t really know each other we might as well have some time to talk.”

“That sounds good to me,” Castiel said with a nod.

“Great,” Benny said as they neared a car on the street corner. “This is mine.”

Castiel got in the passenger seat and sighed as they pulled away.

“So, tell me about yourself,” Benny prompted as he turned the radio on softly for background noise.

“There’s not much to tell,” Cas said, digging through his mind for anything remotely interesting about himself. “I’ve got a big family, which I guess you know about if you’ve met my brother.”

“Yeah, Gabe’s a riot,” Benny said. “Bet it’s never boring with him around.”

“It isn’t. Especially when he tries to be funny by pulling pranks on me,” Cas laughed.

“Oh god, I bet. Sounds a little like how I am with my brothers…only Gabe’s a lot more creative than them,” Benny said, a fond smile coming over his face.

“He’s something else,” Cas agreed. “Other than that, I don’t do a lot in my free time. I read and write a little…that sort of thing.”

“Ah, so an artsy guy,” Benny commented with interest.

“I guess you could say that,” Castiel nodded. “What about you? Artsy at all?”

“Not really,” Benny said. “I’m more into sports and video games, as lame as that is.”

“That’s not lame. I’d give anything to be able to pay attention to a game for longer than an hour,” Castiel said, trying to relax into the conversation a little.

“I could try to give you a lesson on that,” Benny chuckled, glancing over at him.

They survived the rest of the way to the restaurant and walked inside, where Castiel awkwardly ordered the first thing he saw.

 **“** You don’t have to be so nervous, you know,” Benny said, lightly nudging Castiel’s foot under the table.

“You’re right. Sorry, force of habit,” Castiel said, somewhat embarrassed.

“No problem. You said you like to read; what’s your favorite book?” Benny asked.

“The Harry Potter series,” Cas said without hesitation. “I know it sounds kinda childish, but I’ve been into them since the first one came out.”

“That’s not childish. Those books are golden,” Benny said, smiling at him.

“Thanks,” Castiel replied shyly. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad after all.

 

 

 

When Castiel got home after the date, he leaned against the door.

“How was it?” Gabriel asked excitedly as he got up from the couch and walked over to him.

“It was good,” Cas said. “I don’t think I’ll go out with him again though.”

“What? Why not?” Gabe’s expression fell. “I thought I did pretty good with him.”

“You did, but I don’t know…nothing was really _there_ ,” Cas said, trying to put the feeling into words. He’d liked Benny well enough, but whatever spark he was supposed to feel with someone special wasn’t happening.

“Did you let him kiss you? That’s always a good way to tell if you could go out again,” Gabe said, seemingly invested in the two of them working out already.

“Yeah, we kissed,” Cas shrugged, still leaning against the door. “Nothing.”

“No fireworks?” Gabe asked, visibly disappointed.

“Nope,” Cas shook his head. “But it wasn’t a total miss. Thanks for tonight, Gabe; I really needed it.”

“What are big brothers for?” Gabe said fondly. “Wanna watch a movie before you go to bed?”

“Sure,” Castiel smiled softly, following Gabe to the living room as they flipped through some movie options.

He wasn’t about to tell his brother that one of the main reasons everything had felt so out of place was because he was hung up on a guy he was about to meet. That would mean an entirely new conversation with way too much energy for Cas to handle after being social for an entire night with a guy he’d just met.

 

 

 

Castiel barely got any sleep Sunday night, so as he stared at the white board of his first period class on Monday morning he felt like he was going to pass out.

Uriel hadn’t even bothered him when he walked in, which must have said something about how he looked. Regardless, Cas wasn’t complaining. He wasn’t in the mood to deal with Uriel, or anyone else for that matter.

Once Dean came in, late as usual, Mr. Singer started the lesson for the day. Thankfully this was going to be a lecture period, so all Cas had to think about was jotting down a note every now and then.

“Hey man. I heard you and Lisa broke up at Jace’s party on Friday,” Cas overheard Uriel say behind him.

“Yeah…it really sucked,” Dean replied, sadness lacing his voice.

Bits and pieces of the conversation floated into Castiel’s mind, like how “bummed out” Dean was and how Uriel wanted to show him a good time and take him to a club to help him forget about her.

Suddenly Castiel stopped in the middle of writing down a bullet point. No, it couldn’t be. But it kind of made sense. Dean broke up with Lisa on Friday night, the same night Hunter67 broke up with his…they both lived in Lawrence…Hunter67 was terrified to come out, and it would make sense that Dean would be too, if it really was him. Was that even possible? No. No, it had to be a coincidence; and a poor one at that.

Either way, Cas supposed he’d find out an answer for sure this weekend.

 

 

 

On Saturday, Cas was deadly close to not leaving the house at all. Maybe if he didn’t show up Hunter67 would forgive him. There was no guarantee he’d show up either, so why was he so convinced that anyone would ever know? He could still message him now and say that he was sorry but he just couldn’t do it.

But it was too late to back out now, and Castiel was already driven by curiosity. It would be much worse to never know what could’ve happened.

“I’m going out for a bit,” Castiel said, putting his coat on.

“Alright. With Charlie or something?” Lucifer called from the kitchen.

“No, just to the book store,” Castiel lied. The last thing he needed was for Lucifer or Gabe showing up at the café thinking that he could use some company only to find he was already there with someone else.

“Kay. Have fun,” Lucifer called, his mouth audibly full of whatever he was eating.

“See you later,” Castiel said as he slipped out the door. He walked over to the car, which Gabe had left, and sat in it for a good ten minutes before starting it.

_Why the hell am I so nervous?_

Gripping the steering wheel tightly, Cas reversed and started driving to the café. He put on the radio and tried to sing along to the songs he knew, hoping that would be enough to distract him. It wasn’t.

Cas arrived at 1:47 pm, a little too early for his taste. Now he had even more time to worry over what was probably nothing. He didn’t want to sit in the car and wait, so he walked inside and ordered a coffee instead. Once it was ready, he sat down at a booth in the back corner.

The day before, he’d told Hunter67 that he would be the guy with a blue shirt and a black jacket, hoping that would be enough for them to find each other. Hunter67 had replied saying that he’d be wearing a red shirt, so every time the bell on top of the entry door went off Castiel found himself looking for a hint of red on whoever it was.

At 2:01 the door to the café opened and Cas looked up, expecting yet another person who wasn’t there to meet him. He was shocked to see none other than Dean Winchester walk through, wearing a red shirt. The blond looked around the shop and when his eyes locked onto Castiel’s and scanned his outfit, he turned pale.

Cas watched as Dean walked over to him, almost nervously.

“BlueWings?” he asked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Please continue to leave comments, kudos, and all that good stuff if you liked the chapter <3 See you all again next week, but I can't promise the chapter will be too long since I'll be doing GISHWHES at the same time. I'll do the best I can though. I love you guys!
> 
> castielfuckingnovak.tumblr.com


	5. I Know This Much

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Chapter five, definitely moving along. Finally they're meeting and talking in person and all that fun stuff ;) 
> 
> Like I said earlier, this chapter might be a little awkwardly worded here and there or have a typo, but I've been working like a mad woman on all the gishwhes items this week. I couldn't have picked a worse day to update since it's right in the middle of the week, but I got the usual amount of words done, which I was super proud of myself for haha. Next week's might be the same since I'll be working on gishwhes through Saturday, but after that things should be back to normal as far as updates go :) 
> 
> Enjoy!

Cas felt a blush creep onto his face as he awkwardly ran a hand through his hair. “Uh…yeah,” he replied.

“Shit,” Dean said in wonder.

There was something in the way he said it that didn’t make it seem like an insult. More like he just wasn’t expecting to see anyone he knew, which Cas was in full agreement with.

“I’m sorry, I’ll just go,” Castiel said, standing up and trying to walk past Dean. He didn’t have much success when Dean blocked his way out.

“Don’t,” Dean said, his voice strangely vulnerable.

“I won’t tell anyone; don’t worry about it,” Castiel murmured, still trying to get past him.

Dean moved further in Castiel’s way and held his hands up in innocence. “That’s not what I’m worried about,” he said. “Come on, we came here to talk, right?”

Cas forced himself to look Dean in the eyes, surprised by the amount of sincerity in them. Could he really be serious?

“Yeah, I guess we did,” Cas said, pulling the zippered sides of his jacket closer together in a nervous movement.

“Then let’s talk,” Dean said, sliding over so he was sitting down opposite from Cas was a short while ago.

Cas turned and looked at Dean, gauging how serious he was before he decided to sit down across from him. He was gripping his coffee tightly and turned his eyes down to stare at the cup.

“I’m sorry I’m not what you probably thought I was,” Castiel said, sparing a glance up at Dean.

“Don’t apologize,” Dean said, still obviously tense at the situation. “I wasn’t sure what I was expecting…but it definitely wasn’t seeing someone I knew.”

“I wouldn’t say you know me,” Castiel replied defensively. But as soon as the words were out of his mouth he realized how they could come across as harsh, and shook his head. “I mean…I’ve seen you around, but we’ve never talked.”

“Alright, fair enough,” Dean said, tapping the table with his fingers.

“You’re uncomfortable,” Cas observed.

“It’s not like I’ve ever done this before,” Dean said with a shrug. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to say.”

“You could start with what you’ve been up to lately,” Cas suggested hesitantly. “I’ve never been very good at small talk either.”

A minuscule smile came across Dean’s face, and Cas took that as a small victory. “I’ve mainly been filling up my time with practice…which isn’t all that great since Uriel’s on the team.”

“But I thought you and Uriel were friends,” Castiel said in confusion. Even though he wanted to get to know Dean for who he really was, Cas couldn’t help but feel a small thrill at being told information about the most popular guy at school that no one else knew.

“We are, I guess. As far as he’s concerned, anyway,” Dean said, taking his jacket off and placing it next to him. “This week he’s been even more annoying than usual since Lisa and I broke up. He basically insists that I’m heartbroken and won’t tell him.”

“So you’re not sad at all that you guys aren’t together anymore?” Castiel asked. “I get that you’re gay, but you dated for like…half a year. Don’t you have at least a little attachment?”

“Yeah, I was pretty sad for a few hours after it happened…but then I realized it was more freeing than anything, you know?” Dean said, resting his arms on the table.

Castiel nodded and took a sip of his coffee. “Makes sense,” he said. “But I’m sorry Uriel’s been bothering you about it. He can definitely be…irritating to say the least.”

“He really shouldn’t pull that shit with you,” Dean said, scanning over Castiel’s eyes. “It’s not okay.”

“Don’t make this about me; I’m fine,” Castiel said. He said the lie so often he was almost able to believe it himself. “Besides, Uriel’s Uriel. It would be hard to convince him to stop doing anything.”

“That’s true,” Dean conceded, cocking his head slightly in affirmation. He waited a small pause before asking, “What about you? What’ve you been up to?”

“Not a whole lot,” Castiel said, twirling the coffee cup in his hands as he debated telling Dean about Benny or not. “I went on a date last weekend though.”

Dean narrowed his eyes in question. “Seriously? With a guy?” he asked in disbelief.

“Yeah…my brother set me up on a blind date with a guy that goes to school a little ways away from here. His name’s Benny,” Castiel said, suddenly feeling awkward for bringing it up.

“Weren’t you worried someone from school was gonna see you?” Dean asked.

“Not really. We went out to eat a place where I’ve never seen other kids from our school, and it’s not like it’s totally unheard of for two guys to see a movie together. It was easy to disguise everything we did as us just being friends,” Castiel said, rubbing the back of his neck.

“But…you’re more than friends,” Dean stated cautiously.

“I wouldn’t go that far. The date wasn’t anything special, and I don’t think I’d go out with him again,” Cas said. “He was nice and everything, just…not my type.”

“You have a type?” Dean asked, raising an eyebrow at him.

“Don’t you?” Castiel retorted, sipping his drink yet again.

Dean just smirked at him, then looked over at the drink counter. “I’m gonna get some coffee. Don’t go anywhere,” he said as he stood up and went to order something.

Cas found himself blushing as soon as Dean was out of his line of sight. This was gonna be a little harder than he thought. Even though he knew Dean pretty well thanks to their online conversations, it was almost impossible to not feel intimidated. This was the most popular guy in his school; he was extremely attractive and everyone was after him. The popular jocks never went out with the nerds, end of story; especially if they were gay. That just narrowed Castiel’s chances even more, the way he saw things.

When Dean returned, he flashed Cas a smile. “I didn’t miss anything exciting, did I?” he asked as he took a sip of his coffee.

“No, not really,” Cas replied with a small laugh. “I’m sorry, I’ve always been terrible at conversation.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Dean said, giving him an encouraging grin.

“How’s the team doing? Since you were talking about practice earlier,” Castiel said. He could use Dean talking about himself more, giving him something to go on about.

“It’s doing really well. We’re a hell of a lot better than we were last year, and we thought that would be hard to beat,” Dean said proudly. “I don’t mean to make it sound like I’m a self-obsessed ass or anything, but we’ve got a real chance to make it to the championship.”

“That’s not self-obsessed,” Castiel assured him. “I’m glad. The school goes crazy when you guys win a game.”

“You ever been to one?” Dean asked, playing with the cardboard sleeve on his drink.

“No, can’t say I have. I don’t know the first thing about football, so I’d rather not embarrass myself,” Castiel said somewhat uncomfortably.

“You should try it,” Dean encouraged. “I know you don’t like parties and stuff, but you could always go with your brother. You like him, right?”

“Yeah, I guess he’d take me. Might even teach me a few things so I don’t make a total idiot out of myself,” Castiel said, trying to be good natured.

“Awesome,” Dean said. “I’d like to see you there.”

“Really?” Cas asked, slightly shocked.

“Yeah…you’re the only person I’ve ever told about…me,” Dean said, visibly afraid to say it out loud. “I think that makes you the closest friend I’ve got.”

Cas had never thought of it that way.

“So you consider me a friend?” Castiel asked curiously, not wanting to jump to conclusions. It could’ve just been something that Dean had said without thinking.

“Uh, yeah. If that’s cool with you,” Dean said, not sure what Cas meant with the way that he said that. “If I’m being honest, I thought of you as a friend after we talked for the first time…which sounds really insane now that I say it out loud.”

“No, I felt that way too,” Castiel said quickly, not wanting Dean to feel weird. “I’m just glad that you’d think of me that way since I’m…you know, me.”

“What’s wrong with you?” Dean asked, shrugging. “You mean the whole ‘nerd’ thing?”

“Would it be totally embarrassing and stupid of me to say yeah?” Cas asked cautiously.

“No, just…I don’t care about that stuff,” Dean said. “I’d be a dick to; I like you a hell of a lot more than I’ve ever liked my friends from football.”

“I like you a hell of a lot more than other people at school too…I don’t have friends other than Charlie, but you know. You’re better than the kids that pick on me, so there’s that,” Cas said. Even though it was a bit of a touchy subject, he tried to keep it as lighthearted as possible.

“I guess I’ll take that,” Dean chuckled, not wanting to press any uncomfortable ideas right now. “Wow…it’s so weird. I never thought I knew who you were when I walked by you in school, but here we are. And that whole time you were sitting in front of me in first period, you were the guy I was talking to whenever I got the chance.”

“When you say it like that, it sounds pretty crazy,” Castiel said, trying not to give in to the blush he could feel threatening to come over his face. “I kind of thought it might be you. I didn’t know for sure or anything, but it was in the back of my mind.”

“Why would you ever think it was me?” Dean asked, confused.

“People talk. After you said you broke up with your girlfriend over the weekend, everyone was freaking out that you and Lisa broke up when we went back to school,” Cas shrugged, playing with the sleeves of his jacket. “It crossed my mind that it could’ve been you, but that was all it was. I knew it was probably just a coincidence, but I guess not.”

“A regular Sherlock, huh?” Dean asked playfully.

“You could say that,” Castiel replied, feeling his cheeks turn red. “I fly too far underneath the social radar for you to have any clues about who I was.”

“I won’t argue with you there…you’ve seriously never been to a party?” Dean asked, not quite sure he believed it.

“Dead serious,” Cas nodded. “It’s just never appealed to me.”

“So you’ve been invited to them,” Dean stated as a half-question.

“Here and there, always from Meg Masters,” Castiel said, hearing the annoyance in his own voice drip into his tone without meaning for it to.

“Meg Masters? She got a thing for you?” Dean asked in amusement.

“Yeah…she’s been after me since freshman year, but I’ve always turned her down,” Castiel said. “Why is that so interesting?”

“Because Meg hates everyone,” Dean laughed, like it should have been obvious. “She likes one night stands, partying, and getting fucked up. Kind of the opposite how you seem.”

“Exactly the opposite of what I am,” Castiel agreed with a soft smile. “She has the whole ‘opposites attract’ thing happening in her head, but I think she knows deep down it would never work. Even if I wasn’t gay, she’s not exactly the person I’d be dying to jump into bed with.”

“I get that,” Dean said, sipping his drink. “Lisa and I weren’t even all that different and it was still hard for me to pretend that I wanted to fuck her.”

“Being gay around here seems like it only gets worse,” Castiel said, starting to get lost in Dean’s eyes the longer he looked into them.

“Well you’re not planning to stay here the rest of your life or anything, right?” Dean asked, narrowing his eyes slightly. “That’s probably the worst move you could make.”

“I don’t know what my other options are,” Castiel said, resigned.

“Your family’s got money, right?” Dean replied as he took another sip of his drink.

“Yeah, but I don’t wanna move away when I’d be the only one,” Cas said, starting to get embarrassed. “It’s a little lame, but that’s fine. It’s not like I’ve ever pictured myself getting married or anything.”

“Why not?” Dean asked curiously. It seemed like he was genuinely asking, which caught Cas a little off guard…thinking Dean actually gave a shit about him was still really new.

“Because it’s not like I could ever come out here,” Cas said, trying not to sound as dejected as he felt. “So whatever I do dating-wise would have to be a secret, and I don’t even wanna think about the idea of trying to get married without anyone else knowing. It’s a lot less stressful to just have friends or pets.”

“You’re starting to sound like the crazy cat lady in her early years,” Dean pointed out. “You should just move away…you don’t have to give a fuck what anyone else thinks of you.”

“Says the guy who’s too terrified to come out either,” Castiel countered. “You know how hard it is.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” Dean admitted reluctantly. “But I’m getting out of here the second I get the chance. California…my brother wants to go to Stanford so I can be near him and maybe get a job as a mechanic.”

“You want to be a mechanic?” Castiel asked, intrigued. He knew Dean loved his car, but didn’t know if he was the one that ever did any work on it.

Dean nodded as he drank from his cup again. “I’m good with cars,” he said. “You ever seen mine around in the lot? She’s a 67 Impala.”

“Who hasn’t seen your car?” Castiel asked, huffing out a laugh. “It’s great, and I’m not even that much of a car person. I can tell you really love it.”

“Her,” Dean corrected with a playful smile. “I fix her up all the time myself, and I already work in my uncle’s garage, so I might as well just keep that going.”

“That’s awesome,” Castiel said with a nod. “I don’t really know what I want to do with the rest of my life.”

“Well it’s not like you have to right now,” Dean said casually. “Probably better you don’t. Leaves you more open to anything.”

There was something in the way Dean had said that that really clicked with Castiel. Apart from Gabe and Lucifer, everyone in his family had put him down for not having a handle on his life yet. They made him feel unworthy, almost like he was a shame to the family…yet here Dean was, telling him that it was alright he didn’t know his place in the world yet. And for some reason, hearing it in that moment was all Cas needed.

 

 

Needless to say, when Castiel called Charlie later that night and told her it was Dean, she flipped out.

“Are you fucking _kidding me_?” she asked, her voice getting higher and higher with every word. “Dean Winchester?!”

“Yeah...you’ve kind of gotta tell me what you’re thinking right now because all I hear is you squeaking,” Cas laughed, staring at the ceiling from his bed.

“I’m thinking that you’re insanely fucking lucky,” Charlie said, sighing heavily into the receiver. “How many guys get to talk to Dean all the time that aren’t on the football team? And how many guys know he’s gay? You’re the exception to every rule when it comes to him.”

“I don’t know if I’d go that far,” Castiel said uneasily. “He’s just a normal guy. Albeit, an extremely attractive and surprisingly thoughtful guy, but still.”

“You need to land that,” Charlie stated firmly.

“You say that like I don’t have a choice,” Cas chuckled, looking at the wall of his room.

“Well he’d be insane if he didn’t like you, so you just have to make him admit it,” Charlie replied. Cas could almost hear her hand motions as she talked.

“If he ever does, you’ll be the first to know…as long as this stays between us. He didn’t exactly say I could tell anyone,” Cas said.

“You know me, Cas. I’d never tell anyone anything you didn’t want me to,” Charlie said, her tone friendly as always. “But come on, details. Was he wearing his leather jacket? Did he flirt with you?”

Cas spent the next hour telling Charlie everything she wanted to know about meeting Dean, which of course ended in her telling him that when they adopted their first child they’d better name it after her. Cas had to tell her how insane she sounded, but internally couldn’t help feeling a small sense of “what if”.

 

 

 

On Monday, Cas was dreading being back at school. He wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do when he saw Dean since they hadn’t spoken after meeting at the café.

As soon as the blond walked into class late, Cas got his answer. Just act like always, like they’d never spoken before. He didn’t have any problems with that. Cas managed to make it through the entirety of class without getting distracted by the thought of Dean, which he considered a pretty big accomplishment.

Castiel supposed he should’ve known that something was up when Uriel didn’t try his usual insult in first period, but he wasn’t too absorbed in the lack of bullying to really take notice.

When Castiel was in the middle of walking down the hallway, tapping at his phone as he typed out a message to Charlie, his books were slapped out of his hands and spread across the floor.

As Cas looked up he saw Uriel, accompanied by his usual gang of Raphael, Bartholomew, and Dean. Even though Dean was mixed into the group, he knew this couldn’t have been the start of anything good.

“Hey bitch,” Uriel spat, shoving him into the lockers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I love you guys so much <3 
> 
> As always, comments, kudos, etc. are always appreciated :) 
> 
> castielfuckingnovak.tumblr.com


	6. It's Not a Date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's chapter six! :D I hope you guys like it. Gishwhes is finally over so my updates shouldn't look very scattered anymore haha.

“Uriel, please,” Cas said, looking down at the ground. “I don’t want to fight.”

“Who said anything about fighting you?” Uriel asked, glancing at his friends. There was venom in his voice, and it made Cas sick to listen to it. “We don’t wanna fight you, Castiel…we just wanna talk.”

“Well I don’t wanna talk to you,” Cas replied, still not making eye contact as he tried to pass them. Uriel only stepped in his way.

“No need to be rude now,” Uriel said in a teasing tone. “You know, I think I finally figured it out…why you’re so fucking weird, never talking to anyone…you’re a fag, aren’t you? It’d make sense.”

Hearing that word made Cas tense up. For a moment he was terrified that Dean had said something, but then remembered the kind of leverage he had over him as well. Not to mention there was something in the way they had spoken on Saturday that seemed genuine…he didn’t think Dean would betray his trust.

“No, I’m not. Please just leave me alone,” Castiel said quietly, making himself look up at Uriel.

“I’m just wondering why I never saw it before,” Uriel said loudly. “You’re the biggest freak on campus and here I was thinking it was because you were too pathetically unable to function with other people…when all along you were just scared everyone would find out you’re gay.”

“I’m not gay, Uriel,” Cas said firmly, hoping it sounded as convincing out loud as it had in his head.

“Hey man, just leave him alone,” Dean said, shaking his head at Uriel. “It’s not even worth it.”

“You taking his side, Winchester?” Uriel asked, narrowing his eyes like he was trying to figure out if Dean was actually being serious about this.

“No, I just don’t see the point in doing whatever the hell you’re doing. Let’s get to class,” Dean said, gesturing for them to just keep going down the hallway.

“What crawled up your ass?” Uriel muttered as he turned back around so his attention was on Cas again. “You just watch your back, okay? We don’t take too kindly to faggots around here…and if this shit spreads, then who knows? Someone might take you out before you know what hit you.”

“Is that a threat?” Castiel asked, his voice getting smaller.

“You’re smart, Cas. You figure it out,” Uriel said. He spat on the ground next to Castiel and slammed his fist against the lockers next to his face, laughing at the flinch it drew out of the dark haired teenager before turning to walk down the hall.

And that was when Castiel had a complete breakdown.

He knew he shouldn’t have been that freaked out over someone threatening him, but he supposed it was the straw that broke the camel’s back. He sunk down to the floor so he was sitting in front of the lockers with his knees bent, slamming his head into the metal behind them as he looked up at the ceiling.

Why did things like this always happen to him? He was on the receiving end of constant insults during the day, and now he was being threatened and pushed around in the halls. It was only going to get worse from here, especially if Uriel spread the rumor around that he was gay. Even though Uriel was horrible to deal with, there were other students around that would definitely try to hurt him over that.  

Cas closed his eyes and sighed. He couldn’t keep going to all his classes after that, but he didn’t know how he could ever get away with just leaving after first period. Should he even let Uriel have the satisfaction of making him miserable enough to go home?

Castiel was in the middle of trying to figure out what he should do when he heard a voice above him.

“You okay?” He instantly recognized that it was Dean, and he opened his eyes. The hallways were nearly empty now, which was probably the only reason he’d come back at all.

“You really have to ask that?” Castiel retorted, giving him a slight glare. He knew he couldn’t necessarily be mad at Dean…he’d done what he could without putting himself in the middle of things, but he was still a little pissed off.

“I’m sorry. Uriel’s an ass, I’ll see if I can talk him down,” Dean said, leaning against the lockers.

“I just don’t want him telling anyone he thinks I’m gay…I have enough problems with bullies as it is,” Castiel murmured. He stood up and shook his head slightly, trying to get ahold of himself.

“I’m really sorry,” Dean re-iterated.

“I know, you said that already,” Castiel snapped, sounding a little meaner than he meant to. “Sorry, just-…it’s not your fault that Uriel is the way he is. Don’t worry about it, it’s not your problem.”

“It _is_ my problem when you’re being picked on right in front of me. I’m sorry, and I’ll get him to stop,” Dean said.

“It’d be nice if you did, but you don’t have to. I get that your reputation is kind of at risk if you try to help me,” Castiel said. “I’ve never really had a reputation to stand by, but I guess it’s scary to think that everything you have could be ripped out from under you. And I’m not saying that sarcastically. Thanks for trying to get Uriel to back off, even if it didn’t really work.”

“You’re welcome,” Dean nodded. He waited a beat before asking, “You want me to take you home or something?”

Cas looked at him and shook his head. “No,” he answered. “If I go home that means he got to me. I’ll be fine.”

Dean looked at him with something Castiel would almost dare to call admiration as he stood up and sighed.

“What?” Castiel asked, wiping his eyes even though he wasn’t crying…yet.

“Nothing,” Dean said. He waited a moment and took out his phone, handing it over to him. “You should put your number in. Now that we know each other it seems a little weird to keep messaging through that site.”

Cas looked from the phone to Dean several times before taking the device out of his hand. He pulled up Dean’s contacts and added himself, then gave it back to him.

“Thanks,” Dean said, putting the phone back in his pocket. “I’ve gotta get to class, but I’ll talk to you later.”

“Okay,” Castiel said. He pulled his backpack over his shoulder and turned around, going towards his next class. Even though he was going to be late, he didn’t want to ditch.

After Cas had only taken several steps, he felt his phone vibrate and took it out to glance at the screen.

**Unknown # - It’s later. -DW**

Cas smiled at his phone and saved the number as Dean’s before he replied jokingly, **Someone’s eager. -CN**

**You’re the only person I ever wanna talk to anymore. Other than Sam. –DW**

Cas was filled with a sudden sense of pride. Dean wanted to come to him instead of any of the other friends he had. Being on almost the same playing field as his little brother in that department was more than he ever could’ve asked for.

**So are you. –CN**

He wasn’t expecting a reply to that, so he put his phone back in his pants and walked into class late. He couldn’t have picked a worse time. When he looked at the clock, he saw that he was seven minutes past the bell. Just late enough for everyone to know he didn’t get caught up in hall traffic.

“Castiel,” Mr. Gilmer said when he walked in. “So kind of you to join us. Care to share what kept you so busy in the halls?”

Cas wasn’t expecting Mr. Gilmer to call him out on being late, and felt himself get red in the face.

“I was, uh…caught up in talking with a friend,” Castiel said, which wasn’t a total lie.

“Well next time, maybe you’ll think twice about continuing whatever conversation was so important you had to miss the first few minutes of class,” Mr. Gilmer said. “Nevertheless, on to our new unit about molecules…”

Cas sighed deeply, thankful that they were getting on with the day. He could feel everyone slowly turn their gazes away from him and start to pay attention to the lesson.

When Mr. Gilmer turned around to write something on the board, Castiel took his phone out and placed it on his desk. He was surprised to see when he flashed the home screen that he had a new text from Dean.

**How about we get coffee again? Only this time there won’t be any weird first encounters. Just you and me, talking and drinking. –DW**

Cas had certainly thought about what that would be like, but hearing Dean suggest it was nice. Maybe they really could try to be friends...maybe it could work. Who cares if no one could know? They would, and that’s what mattered.  

**Sounds great. When and where? –CN**

**Tomorrow after school? Just drive there instead of home. –DW**

**Sounds good. –CN**

Castiel knew it wasn’t anything remotely like a date, but spending time with Dean sounded like just what he needed. Even though he liked spending time with Charlie, it was exciting having someone else to be with.

 

 

Once lunch rolled around, Charlie flagged Cas down with a worried look on her face.

“What’s wrong?” Castiel asked, his stomach dropping at her expression.

“I heard Uriel and his gang picked on you this morning. Are you okay?” Charlie asked, looking him up and down like she expected some sort of bodily harm.

Cas waved his hand to show it was nothing. “Yeah, I’m fine,” he said. “He just threatened me a little. Nothing too extreme.”

“Threatened you how?” Charlie asked, narrowing her eyes. Cas could tell she was entering protective mode.

“Just…saying things like he was gonna spread the rumor I’m gay,” Castiel said. “And that someone was probably gonna hear it and try to hurt me over it.”

“Are you kidding me?” Charlie asked, rage filling her voice. “You’ve gotta…I don’t know, see the principal or something. Uriel can’t keep getting away with stuff like this.”

“What am I supposed to say?” Castiel asked. “That Uriel said he was gonna tell people I’m gay? I can’t complain about some ominous threat that someone might or might not carry out.”

“Maybe he was trying to be cryptic and meant that _he_ was gonna try to take you out for it,” Charlie suggested.

“Well gee Charlie, that makes me feel a million times better,” Castiel said sarcastically.

“Sorry, I just don’t want you to totally overlook that possibility,” Charlie replied. “Why would he even wanna spread that you’re gay?”

“Because he knows that’s the worst thing you could say about someone around here?” Castiel guessed.

“So he doesn’t _actually_ know,” Charlie clarified.

“Yeah. At least, he didn’t say he knew. Dean’s eyes kind of got wide though, like he was terrified if Uriel found out about me, he would be next,” Cas said, shaking his head slightly.

“Wait, Dean was there? Why didn’t he do anything?” Charlie asked in confusion.

“It wasn’t like there was much he could do,” Cas said. “It was him and three other guys against me. If they tried to hurt me he probably would’ve done something, but they didn’t…so he stayed quiet, which I get.”

“He’s so lucky you’re forgiving. If it were me, I don’t think I’d talk to him again if he could stand there while I was being talked to like that,” Charlie said, shaking her head.

“He’s lucky in that way then, yeah,” Cas said, rolling his eyes. “We’re getting coffee together tomorrow though.”

“Really?” Charlie asked, taking a sip of her water. “You’re not gonna make him sweat a little?”

“I don’t see the point,” Cas said. “He came back to check on me after everything happened, so why bother making him feel like I hate him?”

Charlie waited a moment, processing what Cas had said. “I guess that makes sense. If he had the decency to come back maybe he’s not so bad after all.”

“He’s not,” Castiel said confidently. “But yeah, I’m kind of excited about it. I mean, the first time we had coffee it was just to see who each other was. I wasn’t even sure he’d wanna speak to me again after he found, but now he wants to meet up again. And like…actually get to know me.”

Charlie’s annoyance at Dean was easily replaced by eagerness for her friend.

“Of course he wants to get to know you,” she said with a playful nudge. “Was he smiling when he asked you or anything? Who knows, you could even have a potential boyfriend right now.”

“I don’t think I’d go that far,” Castiel said. “But no, he didn’t ask me in person; he texted me.”

“He has your number? Damn. This is more serious than I thought,” Charlie said, her tone only half-joking.

“Come on, it’s just coffee. But yeah, it’s gonna be good,” Castiel said.

 

 

 

“Gabe, can you go a little faster?” Cas asked the next afternoon when he and his brother were headed home from school.

“Why are _you_ in such a rush?” Gabriel asked, glancing over at Castiel suspiciously. “You usually beg for me to take the scenic route.”

“I have plans,” Cas said with a shrug, hoping that would be enough to make Gabe stop asking.

“What plans?”

Obviously that didn’t work.

“I’m going to the bookstore,” Castiel said. He knew it wasn’t a very good lie, but it was one that everyone would believe for a while.

“And you’re so excited to get to the bookstore that you can’t wait an extra five minutes to get home?” Gabe asked curiously. “Is there a signing or something?”

“No, I just…I had a rough day, and need some time to myself there,” Castiel sighed. It wasn’t a total lie.

“What happened?” Gabe asked, looking over at Cas worriedly.

“Uriel and his pack were just jerks to me,” Castiel said. “No big deal. I just need to get away from everything, do my homework in peace and quiet where I’m surrounded by books and no one can bother me.”

Gabe sighed, but nodded after several moments. “Okay. I hate that anyone is mean to you,” he said. “Ever. And believe me, if I was there, I would’ve broken someone’s jaw in a matter of seconds.”

“Which is exactly why I’m glad you weren’t there,” Castiel joked. “I can handle myself.”

“I know you can,” Gabe said. “But that doesn’t mean that if I was there I would just sit back and not get pissed. I’d do something.”

“Well I appreciate your concern,” Cas said as they pulled into their driveway.

“You’re welcome. And you should go ahead and get to the book store then,” Gabriel smiled, handing Cas the keys. “Make sure you get some studying done for me. Everyone knows I won’t do it for myself.”

Cas huffed out a small laugh and got out of the car, switching sides with Gabe as he walked inside.

“I’ll tell mom for ya,” Gabe said, waving as he got to the front door.

“Thanks,” Castiel called out, getting behind the wheel.

He started the car and pulled out onto the street, anxious to get to talk to Dean again. Hopefully he wouldn’t already be there since Cas figured he’d have to drop his little brother off first.

When Castiel arrived at the coffee shop, Dean was nowhere in sight. Nobody was sitting at the booth they took last time, so Cas got a coffee and sat down in the same place.

After about ten minutes, Cas took out his phone and debated texting Dean, asking if he was on his way or not. That seemed too desperate though. He could wait another ten or fifteen minutes before resorting to that.

Sure enough, about five minutes later Dean walked into the coffee shop. He scanned the crowd and smiled when he saw Castiel, giving him the signal that he needed a minute as he ordered a drink. Once he had it, he sat down and gave Cas a somewhat awkward smile.

“Thanks for coming,” Dean said.

“That sounds a little formal, don’t you think?” Castiel asked, taking a sip of his drink.

Dean huffed out a small laugh, and some of the tension visibly seeped out of him as he relaxed against the seat he was in. “You’re right,” he said.

There was a moment of silence before Castiel said, “So…there’s something I’ve kind of wanted to ask you for a while now.”

“What?” Dean asked, before lifting his cup to take a drink.

“Why were you on Anonymous Teens in the first place?” Castiel asked.

“Oh,” Dean said, a little surprised Cas would ask that of all things. “I was uh…looking for some real friends, as dumb as that probably sounds coming from me. Like I said, I don’t have anyone around me I’d really consider a friend other than you and Sam, so I thought going online would make things easier.”

“Same with me,” Castiel said, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “Charlie told me I was too alone for my own good, so I wanted to try to make friends online. I was also kind of looking for a potential boyfriend I guess, but that was a shout into the void.”

“Weird to think that we’re both in the same boat,” Dean said thoughtfully. “With the whole ‘not having friends’ thing.”

“Even weirder to think that we went to the same school when who knows how many people use that site,” Cas chuckled.

And just like that, the gates opened. Cas and Dean sat there for another hour and a half, just talking. They finally felt like friends who didn’t have to worry about getting caught together.

Eventually, Cas looked at his watch and sighed. “I’ve gotta go. My mom’s gonna have dinner on the table any second, and I should be home for dinner,” he said.

Dean looked disappointed, then took out his phone and saw the time. His eyes widened and he smirked. “Wow…didn’t know we were here so long,” he said in slight bewilderment. “Guess this is what it feels like to lose track of time with a friend.”

Cas felt a bit of sadness rise in his chest at that. He’d at least gotten that experience with Charlie, but it seemed like Dean really didn’t know what it was like to have a good friend…that must be pretty lonely.

“Yeah,” Cas agreed, deciding against saying anything too invasive when they were just about to part ways. He stood up threw his drink away.

“Wait, let me walk you to your car,” Dean said, standing up as well.

“Uh…okay,” Castiel said. He didn’t expect that.

Dean walked next to Cas out of the shop and around the building to his car.

“This is me,” Castiel said, taking out the keys and unlocking it. “We should do this again sometime.”

“Yeah…maybe at my place next time,” Dean said. He reached out and gently brushed his hand along Castiel’s lower back, so lightly Cas almost wasn’t sure he felt it at all. “Bye, Cas.”

“Bye Dean,” Castiel said as Dean turned and walked away, running a hand through his hair.

What the hell was that?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mmm is the sexual tension finally beginning?? 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed it! <3 Comments, kudos, etc. are always welcome. 
> 
> castielfuckingnovak.tumblr.com


	7. Does This Count as a Confession?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter seven what what. 
> 
> I hope you guys like it! :) Thanks for being so awesome about this story and supporting it <3

When Dean came home after meeting up with Cas, he dreaded having to actually do his homework.

He walked inside and smiled at his mom in the kitchen. “Hey mom,” he greeted.

“Hey sweetie. Where were you after school? Sam said you were going somewhere,” Mary said while she stirred whatever was inside the pot in front of her.

“Oh yeah, I was at the library. Did some research for a project due in a week,” Dean said casually. He hadn’t really thought up a more believable lie, and that one would hold for now.

“Good for you,” Mary said, giving him an approving glance. “Nice to hear you care about your grades as much as you care about the team.”

“Yeah,” Dean lied again. “I’m gonna go to my room and finish up some homework for a bit though.”

“Okay, I’ll call you and Sam out when dinner’s ready,” Mary said as Dean walked away.

Dean stopped in front of Sam’s room and knocked in the open doorway. “Heya Sammy,” he greeted with a smile.

“Dean,” Sam said, turning to face him. “That was a long time at the library. Finish your project?”

“Not really,” Dean said. He stood there for a second before walking inside and closing the door behind him.

“What’s up?” Sam asked, his face turning more serious as he looked at Dean.

“Uh, I just wanted to ask you something,” Dean said, leaning back against the door. “What do you think of…gay people?”

Sam blinked. “What do I think of gay people?” he re-iterated. “Uh…they’re fine? I don’t have a problem with them. Why?”

“Just wondering,” Dean said, not ready to say the words out loud. “I’ve just…got a friend who’s questioning a lot of things.”

“A friend,” Sam said, raising an eyebrow at him. “Come on Dean, you don’t have to do this. Give me a little more credit than that.”

Dean felt himself get a little more rigid, trying not give anything away. “About what?” he asked, his voice not sounding nearly as solid as he wanted it to.

“You,” Sam said, an eye roll practically present in his voice. “There’s nothing wrong with you for liking guys…and don’t tell me that I’m being crazy or whatever it is you’re about to say.”

Dean opened his mouth, then closed it again. He had no idea what he was supposed to say to that. Sam had known all along, and while Dean really wasn’t surprised, he hadn’t thought he’d been so obvious. Maybe he really _was_ in danger of other people at school finding out.

“I’d never tell anyone,” Sam said after a while of stretched out silence.

Dean blinked and shook his head. “God, no,” he said quickly. “That’s not what I’m freaking out about, Sammy. I know you wouldn’t tell anyone. I’m just kind of trying to process that you knew. And you’re okay with it.”

“You’re my big brother. Of course I’m okay with it,” Sam said, giving Dean a smile that made him want to just walk over and hug the crap out of him, but that could wait.

“You’re the best, you know that?” Dean asked, sitting down on Sam’s bed.

“Yeah, kind of,” Sam said with a smirk. “But why the sudden confession? Something you wanna tell me?”

Dean nodded. “I wanted to tell someone about this, and you’re the only person I trust,” he said.

“Lay it on me,” Sam encouraged, scooting the chair he was in closer to the bed so Dean had his undivided attention.

“Okay…I wasn’t at the library. I was with a guy,” Dean said. “A guy that knows I’m gay because he is too.”

“Someone else knows you’re gay?” Sam asked.

“Yeah, we met online,” Dean said. “And we didn’t know that we lived near each other, but it turns out he goes to our school. So we met up and had coffee and then we did again today too.”

“He goes to our school? Who is it?” Sam asked.

Dean hesitated. “You swear you won’t tell anyone?”

“I swear,” Sam promised. “Besides, if you wanna have someone to talk to about all the time you spend with this guy, you might as well give me his name.”

“Alright, fine. You wore me down,” Dean joked. “His name’s Cas.”

“As in Castiel Novak?” Sam asked with a knowing smile.

“How the hell do you know him?” Dean asked curiously.

“I don’t know. There are just some upperclassmen I know. My friend’s brother did a project with him, so he was at his house a lot for a while,” Sam shrugged.

“Oh…well yeah, it’s him,” Dean said, a little uncomfortably.

“Cool. Go on then, tell me all about it,” Sam said, sitting at attention. “What’s it like having a friend who’s gay too?”

“I don’t know if I’d call him a friend,” Dean said cautiously. “I think I might be into him.”

“Seriously?” Sam asked, a smile growing on his face.

“Yeah,” Dean nodded. He knew he was starting to turn red, but Sam wouldn’t comment on it. “He’s great. He’s smart, funny, nice…kind of everything I’ve ever wanted.”

“Then why are you making a face like that’s a bad thing?” Sam asked.

Dean hadn’t even realized he was doing that, and quickly tried to straighten up. “It’s not that it’s a bad thing,” he said carefully. “It’s that I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with this. I’ve never really liked someone before, and the first time I do, it’s a guy. That’s bad on its own, and the fact that it’s a guy the people I hang out with make fun of is even worse.”

“The fact that it’s a guy isn’t bad, Dean. That’s the first thing you need to let yourself realize,” Sam pointed out.

“I know,” Dean sighed. “But it’s hard. My entire life it’s been hammered into me that being gay is this horrible thing that I need to stay away from and I’ve been pushing it down for so long…it’s like I don’t even know how to be positive about it anymore.”

Sam nodded. “I get that, really,” he said. “But you’ve gotta take a second to step back and see that there’s nothing wrong with it. If you like Cas, then you like Cas. There’s no rule saying you have to _do_ something about it unless you want to…make peace with the fact that you like him first.”

Dean laughed and reached out to ruffle Sam’s hair. “When did you become the mature, wise one here?” he asked teasingly.

“A long ass time ago,” Sam joked back with a grin.

Dean nodded laid down on Sam’s bed, rubbing his face as he thought to himself. “You’re right,” he admitted. “That’s what I’ve gotta do. Then I can figure out what to do from there.”

“As long as you like…don’t let Uriel beat him up or anything,” Sam said. “You kinda have to step in then.”

Dean looked over at him and sighed. “I know,” he said. “I wouldn’t let him get hurt if I had any say in it. I’m just scared that if I help him, someone’s gonna spread shit.”

“What exactly are you worried about? Your reputation?” Sam asked, obviously trying to keep the judgment out of his voice.

“It’s not that simple,” Dean shook his head. “It’s the fact that if anyone started to believe it, my entire life would change. Uriel and the guys wouldn’t hang out with me, I’d probably have to quit the team, I’d get picked on, and everyone would desert me. I don’t think I’m ready for that.”

“I get where you’re coming from,” Sam said, getting up and sitting next to Dean on his bed. “But you’ve gotta think about all the things you’re scared of. Yeah, it would suck if your life was taken out right from under you, but would it really end up being so bad if the douche bags you don’t even like stopped hanging out with you? You could always join a different football team if you didn’t wanna be around everyone from school, and I doubt anyone would be stupid enough to pick a fight with you. If they did, you could take them any day. And I don’t think everyone would desert you. You’ll always have me, and Cas is probably a safe bet too. Not to mention, anyone that would seriously stop talking to you because they thought or knew you were gay is someone you shouldn’t be hanging out with in the first place.”

Dean sighed and didn’t say anything for a while, just thinking about what Sam was saying. “You’re right,” he murmured.

“I know,” Sam teased. “So don’t even worry about it. I doubt anyone’s gonna spread any rumors about you, but if they do there’s nothing you can do to stop it. So just take it as it comes.”

“Alright,” Dean nodded. “But I-.”

“Dinner, boys!” Mary called from the kitchen.

“Coming mom,” Sam yelled back, standing up. “Come on, you can think about this a little more and then we can talk after dinner if you still need to get anything off your chest.”

“I think I’m gonna invite him over,” Dean said as they walked into the hall.

“You should,” Sam smiled, sitting down in his place at the table.

 

 

 

Castiel got home just in time for dinner, setting his jacket aside when he walked in the front door.

“Hey guys, I’m back,” he announced.

“Hey,” Gabe said from the kitchen. “We just ordered a pizza for dinner, hope that’s cool.”

“Yeah, that’s fine,” Castiel said. He nodded at Lucifer as he got a plate and sat down at the table with a slice.

“You’ve been going to the bookstore a lot. Is that your new hang out?” Lucifer asked curiously.

“I guess you could call it that,” Castiel said with a nod. “It’s a nice place to think, clear my head.”

“I heard you needed to clear your head today because some dickheads bothered you,” Lucifer said, his eyes flicking over to Gabriel.

“Well don’t just tell him I told you that,” Gabe said exasperatedly.

Cas rolled his eyes and shook his head. “It’s fine,” he said. “ _I’m_ fine. Uriel threatened me; that’s all that happened.” He knew Lucifer was a little more laid back about this kind of thing, so Cas hoped he would just let it go. Maybe he could even calm Gabe down a little.

“If you say so,” Lucifer shrugged. “But if he ever even _tries_ to hurt you, I’ll end him…or anyone, for that matter. So tell me if shit goes down that you can’t get yourself out of, okay?”

“I will,” Castiel promised. He didn’t want to get in over his head either.

They all ate in silence for a short while before Castiel asked, “What did you guys do today?”

“Well mom,” Gabe started out teasingly. “I just went to school, came home, and played video games.”

“Went to school, work, and now I’m here,” Lucifer said, finishing his pizza slices.

“Maybe I should get a job,” Castiel thought out loud.

“Why would you get a job?” Gabe asked. “Mom and dad make enough, and you’ve got a college fund.”

“It would be something to do,” Cas said. “Plus it wouldn’t hurt to feel like I was doing something for myself. But I don’t know…I’m not even sure what I would want to do.”

“Well if you want to, I think you should go for it,” Gabe said supportively. He stood up and put his plate in the sink, then sat down on the couch again.

“Gabe, you’re not gonna play video games again are you? I wanted the TV tonight,” Lucifer said.

“Too slow, brother,” Gabe teased, picking up a controller. “I’ll only be ten minutes; I just need to finish this level.”

“Fine,” Lucifer said with an eye roll, finishing his food as well.

Cas had been done for a while. He picked up his plate and brought it into the kitchen, emptying it in the sink.

“I’ll be in my room if anyone needs me,” Cas announced.

“Kay,” Gabe said, saluting him as the television filled the room with sounds of simulated gunshots.

Castiel leaned against his door as soon as he closed it and closed his eyes. He wanted to text Dean, but it seemed almost too soon. Fuck, was this what it was like to hopelessly like someone?

Cas went over to his bed and sat down, taking out his phone. He stared at it for a good five minutes before opening up a new text for Dean.

**Is it pathetic that I want to text you already? -CN**

He was sure he’d have to wait a while before getting some sort of reply, but it only took a few seconds for his phone to go off with a new text alert.

**Only if it’s just as pathetic that I was hoping you’d text me for a few hours now. -DW**

Cas smirked down at his phone, his stomach clenching in excitement. That was definitely encouraging.

**Just a little. This afternoon was fun. -CN**

**It was. I meant it when I said you should come over to my place sometime. How does Thursday sound? –DW**

Castiel blinked at the screen. He hadn’t expected a serious offer from Dean, at least not to his house.

**Um, that sounds great. What time? –CN**

**How about 3? –DW**

**Alright, cool. See you then. –CN**

A smile spread across Castiel’s face at the thought of getting to spend even more time with Dean. Hopefully his parents wouldn’t be back by then; they made everything more complicated than it needed to be.

**You don’t get to back out of a conversation that easy, Novak. –DW**

Cas ran a hand through his hair and sighed happily. Dean was one of the few people he could constantly talk to, and he was finally getting used to knowing who it was behind the screen name he’d grown so accustomed to seeing.

The next time Castiel looked at the clock, it was one o’clock in the morning.

**Damn. I didn’t even realize how late it got. –CN**

**Holy shit, neither did I. I take it that means you’ve gotta go? –DW**

**I don’t want to, but yeah. Sleep is sort of important. –CN**

**Can’t argue with you there. I’ll see you at school then. –DW**

**See you at school. –CN**

 

Dean woke up late the next morning and started to panic as he got ready. This rarely ever happened. He got ready quickly and ran into the kitchen, grabbing a pop tart.

“That’s not breakfast, sweetie,” Mary said as she watched him.

“I know, but I don’t have time,” Dean said with his mouth full. “Sam, where are you?”

“Front door,” Sam called.

Of course. Dean threw his backpack over his shoulder and walked to the door. He put his arm around Sam’s shoulder and took them out to the car.

Once they were inside, Sam looked at Dean with a slight laugh. “What happened to you? Oversleep?” he asked.

“Yeah,” Dean said, yawning as he started the car. “I feel like I’m dying.”

“Sorry,” Sam said. He turned on the radio and put in a random cassette, looking out the window as they drove.

 

 

The second Dean stepped inside the school, he was pulled aside. “What the fuck?” he asked, pulling back from the hands that were around his shoulders a second ago.

“Sorry man, just wanted to make sure I got to you before class started,” Uriel said. “We’re gonna fuck with Novak after school. You want in?”

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oooh what's Dean gonna do?? Haha I hope you guys liked this! 
> 
> Next week's chapter is gonna be really short since I'm leaving for VanCon in two days. I'll be spending Thursday through Sunday night there, so that only leaves me two days to write. I'll do the best I can though, I promise! 
> 
> Once again, thanks for being so amazing about the continuation of this story, it means the world to me. Please keep leaving comments, kudos, etc. and feel free to follow me on tumblr :) 
> 
> castielfuckingnovak.tumblr.com


	8. Let's Get Away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I'm really sorry this chapter is so short, but like I said last week, VanCon pretty much made it so I had no time to write.   
> Next week I'll have a normal length chapter, but I hope you guys like this one despite how short it is haha <3 Thank you all so much for your encouragement and support so far!

“So you guys are hanging out on Thursday?” Charlie asked excitedly.

“Yeah, we are,” Cas said with a slight smile as he took out the salad he had for lunch. “I think that’s a good sign, right?”

“It totally is,” Charlie agreed. “That _and_ the fact that he brushed your back before you left the coffee shop… _and_ how you guys are constantly texting like an annoying couple already.”

Cas felt himself blush, and he rubbed the back of his neck. “I don’t wanna get ahead of myself or anything though,” he said.

“It’s hardly getting ahead of yourself,” Charlie said, glancing around the lunch room. “Hey, speak of the devil.”

Cas looked up and saw Dean walking across the lunch room towards the table that he always sat at with the other jocks. He took a small risk and waved discreetly at him, knowing Dean might not even see it.

Dean’s eyes flickered up to Castiel, but he didn’t return the wave. Instead, he looked away just as quickly as he’d looked initially and started walking even faster.

“What was that?” Charlie asked.

“He’s probably nervous. Didn’t want anyone to know that we know each other,” Cas guessed.

“That’s still shitty of him,” Charlie said. “He can acknowledge your existence without worrying about his reputation.”

“In his mind he can’t. If he’s not ready, I’m not one to judge…I’m not exactly eager to be out in the open about my sexuality either,” Cas said. “And being friends with Dean would definitely not do me any favors. It’d only take him down.”

“You’re the most patient guy I know,” Charlie said.

Cas turned his attention away from Dean before he sat down at the other table and went back to focusing on Charlie.

“Enough about him,” Cas said. “Have you asked Dorothy out yet?”

“I was actually waiting for a good time to tell you, but yeah. I did,” Charlie said eagerly.

“What did she say?” Castiel asked, even though he was pretty sure of the answer already.

“She said she’d love to,” Charlie replied happily. “I mean, it was a huge risk asking her, and I almost didn’t, but damn…I’m glad I did.”

“I’m glad too,” Castiel said with a grin. “What are you guys doing?”

“I’m taking her out to dinner on Friday,” Charlie said proudly. “Then we might go to a movie or something else fun. Haven’t decided anything too solid yet.”

“I’m sure you’ll hit it off,” Cas said, nudging her encouragingly. “Dorothy’s cute too. Good job.”

“Thanks,” Charlie smiled. “I can’t wait to show her off if we start dating.”

“You seriously don’t care if everyone knows you’re gay?” Cas asked. “Damn. I’m jealous.”

Charlie huffed out a small laugh and shrugged. “I guess I figure I don’t have much of a social standing to lose anyway,” she said. “And besides, I’m proud of who I am. I get that you are too, but I guess I’m more…I don’t know, willing to put it out there.”

“Yeah, you are,” Cas nodded. “Can I steal that from you for a little while?”

“Any time you want it, it’s yours,” Charlie smirked.

 

 

When the end of the day finally came, Castiel stood up in his last period and walked out into the hallway, simultaneously putting his notebook into his bag. He had waited until almost everyone had left the room, making sure he had all the notes he was going to need.

He didn’t see someone come up to him from out of nowhere until they had grabbed his arm and were pulling him down the hall.

“Dean?” Cas asked, looking up at the back of the other teenager in front of him.

“Just follow me,” Dean said, yanking Cas around a corner.

Cas was tempted to stop in his tracks and force Dean to tell him what the hell was going on, but figured it must be important if he was acting like this when someone could potentially see.

“What’s happening?” Cas tried again.

Dean dragged Cas around yet another corner that led outside and pushed him to the side slightly so he was against the wall.

“Dean. What the hell?” Castiel demanded, taking his hand away from Dean’s.

“You’re welcome,” Dean said, rolling his eyes. “The guys from the football team were gonna humiliate you.”

Cas blinked. “Seriously?” he asked. “Why did you stop me from walking into it?” He didn’t mean for it to sound as accusatory as it did, but decided to go with it.

“Because I don’t want you to get your pants and underwear pulled down and have the whole thing video-taped, okay?” Dean said, his tone showing that he was trying to hide his offense at the remark. “The last thing we need is some viral video of you naked.”

Cas leaned against the wall a little more and shook his head. “Unbelievable,” he said, running his fingers through his hair. “Well…thanks for helping me out of that.”

“You’re welcome,” Dean said. “I’ve gotta go tell them I couldn’t find you. You don’t even know how hard it was to convince them to let me go alone. Stay here.”

“I have a ride,” Cas shrugged, shifting his backpack slightly. “I’ll just meet him. But seriously, thanks.”

“Come on, let me give you a ride. Wait here for two seconds,” Dean said, walking over to the door but keeping his eyes on Castiel.

Cas debated his options for a moment before nodding. “Alright,” he said.

“Cool,” Dean grinned before he vanished back inside.

Castiel took out his phone and texted Gabe.

**Got a different ride. You can head home. –CN**

**Alright, with who? –GN**

**No one you’d know. He’s in my bio class. I’ll keep you posted on when we leave. –CN**

**Sounds good. See ya later. –GN**

**See ya. –CN**

Castiel put his phone away and looked around, not seeing anyone pass by.

Dean had just saved him from the worst thing anyone had ever tried to do to him purely because he could. That was easily the nicest thing someone had ever done for him…it was hard to even be pissed off at Uriel and his gang of followers when knowing that Dean was looking out for him was at the back of his mind.

“Hey,” Dean said as he came out the door again. “They’re kinda pissed, but as long as you leave school this way for the next little while they shouldn’t catch on. They’re not too smart.”

Cas smirked and nodded. “Yeah, I get that,” he said.

“Come on,” Dean said, gesturing for Cas to follow him. “My little brother’s gonna ride with us.”

“Alright,” Castiel said, still at a loss for words that this was actually happening.

When they approached the Impala, Cas saw Sam leaning against the passenger door of the Impala. He looked up and stood a little straighter when he saw the two of them.

“Hey Dean,” Sam said when they were close enough. They were almost the last car in the lot.

“Hey,” Dean greeted. “Sam, this is Cas; Cas, this is Sam.” He looked at Sam pointedly. “Cas has shotgun.”

“Got it,” Sam said. “Nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you too,” Cas said with a small nod before Sam got inside the backseat of the car. “He’s really polite.”

“Tell me about it,” Dean said with a playful eye roll. “Come on, let’s get outta here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it :D Next week will be the usual length, but hopefully this was a nice little teaser for what's to come. Thanks for being so amazing about this story!


	9. Almost Have You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter nine wooo we're getting there, everyone :D Hope you all like it, and I'm back to my usual chapter length, so yay! Enjoy, and thanks for all your incredible support so far <3

Castiel got in the passenger seat and awkwardly looked over at Dean as he started the car.

“Thanks,” Cas said with a slight smile. “I live on Willow Street, if you know where that is.”

“Got it. I know this town like the back of my hand,” Dean said, pulling onto the main road.

“I didn’t know you guys were friends,” Sam commented from the backseat, trying to maintain some sort of conversation.

“Um…I guess you could call us that,” Castiel said, casting Dean an uncertain glance. Even though he’d like to think of them as friends, he hated assuming that he stood anywhere with anyone.

“Don’t be stupid, of course we’re friends,” Dean said, smiling over at him. “But yeah, we met a little while back…haven’t had the chance to invite him over with practice and stuff.”

“Cool. Maybe you can take him sometimes, Cas. He can be annoying when he’s around too much,” Sam teased.

Dean was thankful that Sam was being so casual about all this, and he cast him a grateful glance in the rearview mirror.

Castiel let out a small laugh and started playing with the hem of his shirt. “I think that can be arranged,” he said.

Dean paused for a second before saying, “You do that a lot…mess with your clothes.”

“Oh, yeah. Nervous habit,” Cas said, somewhat embarrassed.

“I make you nervous?” Dean smirked, looking over at him.

“Kind of, yeah,” Cas admitted, playfully nudging Dean’s shoulder.

“Alright,” Dean said understandingly. “Then my goal is to make it so that you never feel like you have to mess with your clothes around me again. Sound fair?”

Cas looked at Dean in slight surprise, but nodded. “Sure,” he said. “I mean, I get uncomfortable really easily, so it’s not totally your fault.”

“Well still,” Dean said, turning onto Willow Street. “No one should be nervous around a friend. Now which house is yours?”

 “Third to last house on the right,” Castiel said, pointing in the general direction of his house.

“Cool,” Dean said, pulling up to the curb once they got there. “See ya tomorrow, Cas.”

“See you tomorrow,” Cas said as he climbed out of the car. “And thanks, Dean. For everything.”

“No problem,” Dean smiled, waving as Castiel turned around and walked inside.

“Damn,” Sam said from the backseat. “So that’s Cas…”

“Yeah, why?” Dean asked, patting the passenger seat so Sam would get out and join him up front.

Sam got out and slid into the passenger seat, giving Dean a knowing smile. “He’s nice; I can see why you like him,” he said.

“Don’t make it weird,” Dean said as he started the car and went back out on the main road. “I’m still having trouble wrapping my head around it.”

Sam nodded. “Are you thinking about telling mom and dad?” he asked.

“Tell them what?” Dean retorted, glancing over at his little brother. “That I have a crush on this guy I met online who may or may not like me back? That’s not much of a story.”

“You know what I mean,” Sam said. “If you guys get together, would you ever tell mom and dad?”

“I don’t know,” Dean said. “Probably not. If Dad found out I don’t know what the hell he’d do.”

“I think mom would be supportive,” Sam said. “And she could always help him calm down if he freaked.”

“Yeah, but I don’t see why they’d need to know in the first place. It’s not like I’m gonna marry the dude,” Dean said, turning a corner.

“Maybe not, but I don’t think you should hide who you are from them,” Sam brought up. “It might not be Cas that you end up spending the rest of your life with, but it could be. And if it’s not, it’ll be some other guy. Do you really wanna play off your boyfriend as a roommate until they just figure it out for themselves? And when they do, there’s a good chance they’ll be more pissed off about it than if you’d just told them.”

Dean sighed. Sam had a point…he always did. Then again, the mere thought of telling his parents that he was anything but what they’d always expected he was seemed like the most daunting thing in the world.

“It’s easier if I don’t have to deal with this right now,” Dean said in a slightly more apathetic voice than he meant to. “I’ll wait until I can’t go any longer without them knowing.”

“Whatever you wanna do,” Sam said as they pulled into the driveway. “But I think he likes you back, so focus on that.”

“You were in the car with him for ten minutes; how the hell could you think that?” Dean asked, getting out of the car and slinging his backpack over his shoulder.

“I don’t know. He kept looking over at you and smiling,” Sam said. “Even when you weren’t looking back.”

“That doesn’t mean anything,” Dean said as he opened the front door and Sam followed him inside.

“Will you just trust me? I’m trying to make you feel better about everything here,” Sam laughed, nudging him playfully. “You don’t have to make it hard on yourself.”

“You’re right,” Dean admitted, setting his backpack down near the door. “I’m gonna go to my room for a bit.”

“Alright,” Sam said, taking his backpack to the kitchen table so he could start homework.

Dean walked to his room and flopped down on the bed. He didn’t feel like doing homework after having such a long day.

Just when he was starting to think that he could even close his eyes and sleep for a little while, he felt his phone go off in his pocket.

“What?” Dean groaned out loud as he opened the new text message.

**Dude, where’d you disappear to? –UM**

Uriel. Of fucking course. When _wasn’t_ it Uriel?

**Had to take Sam home. –DW**

**Alright, guess I can’t call you out then. You gonna go to the victory party this weekend after the game? –UM**

Dean rolled his eyes. **We haven’t even played the game yet, Uriel. –DW**

**Come on man, everyone knows we’re gonna win. You coming or what? –UM**

**Probably not. –DW** In all honesty, he just wanted to stay home after the game. He didn’t want to hang out with the guys who had almost humiliated the guy he liked, despite the fact that they had no idea that’s what they’d done.

**Dude. The girls are gonna be all over you. It’ll be perfect for you to get over Lisa, you know? Fuck one or two of ‘em and then you’ll forget all about her. –UM**

Dean had already pretty much forgotten about the whole thing. If it wasn’t for Lisa’s friends giving him dirty glares everywhere he went, he’d be at ease about the whole thing. Even though he and Lisa didn’t talk anymore, he didn’t feel like he’d lost a huge part of his life. She had a new boyfriend already, making sure to flaunt him around whenever she could. Part of Dean thought it might be to make him jealous, but it was too late for that. If anything, he’d be jealous of her because of the dude she was dating.

That earned a small laugh from Dean as he thought about how the whole scene would play out.

**Already done. I’ll come if I can, but I might have to take care of Sam for the night. DW**

**Isn’t he like…15 or something? UM**

**Yeah, but you know my parents. Overprotective as fuck. DW**

That was one of the farthest things from the truth, but it was an easy excuse. Sam and his parents got him out of a lot of situations he didn’t want to be in, whether they knew it or not.

**That’s lame. Let’s hope you don’t have to then. –UM**

**Yeah. I’ve gotta go, I’m studying for a test I’m gonna fail if I don’t. See ya tomorrow. –DW**

**See ya. –UM**

That conversation alone was enough to exhaust Dean from talking to him for a while. He put his phone on the night stand and rolled over, thinking way too hard yet again.

He knew he did the right thing in helping Cas leave before anything bad happened…that much he was sure of. But he couldn’t help feeling like a coward for not standing up to the team when they thought up the whole thing in the first place. Even though Dean wished he had the courage to tell them all what was going on, he didn’t.

It felt good knowing that he’d done something though. He felt more helpful than he had back when Uriel threatened Cas. Now that Dean thought about it, he’d have to make sure Uriel never actually followed through on that…without making it seem like he cared about Cas as more than a friend. Or even just another person. This was getting more complicated than he wanted.

 

 

Castiel was sitting at the dinner table with Gabe and Lucifer when they heard the front door unlock.

“Shit,” Lucifer groaned, setting his elbows on the table and hiding his face in his hands. “They’re back.”

“Well they were supposed to be back a long time ago,” Gabe pointed out. “We’re lucky they stayed out as long as they did.”

They sat and listened to the front door open, close, and lock.

“We’re home,” their mom called out.

“Hey,” Cas, Gabe, and Lucifer said, their timing slightly staggered.

Cas couldn’t even pretend to be enthusiastic to see his parents anymore, and that was a miserable realization to come to.

When he was seven, it was easy to get excited and hug them hello. He used to cling to the hope that maybe whatever trip they’d just come back from would be the last one. That they’d start acting like actual parents and stay home, taking care of all of them in a way that was more than just a check every month for food.

It was when Cas was around ten that it started to sink in how alone he and his siblings were in all this…and that was a lot. Too much for a kid of ten, anyway.

“Sorry we’re late,” their father called out as they walked into the kitchen.

_Like they were supposed to be home an hour ago. What a joke._

Cas sighed and stood up, taking his plate to the sink. “No problem,” he said apathetically. “I’ll be in my room.”

“How was your trip?” Gabe asked, fulfilling his role of trying to get them to talk a little more.

“It was lovely,” Hester said with a slight smile, getting a bottle of water out of the fridge. “A little hot, but lovely. How was your time here?”

“Fine,” Gabe said with a nod. He looked around the room at Cas and Lucifer before he stood up as well. “I’m gonna go to my room too. Study, you know.”

“Sure, good for you, sweetie,” Hester said distractedly as she waved a hand and walked towards the table.

Cas watched as Gabe rolled his eyes and motioned for him to start walking away.

When Cas went into his room, he was stopped from closing the door by Gabe’s hand. He let his brother open the door even wider as he entered and closed it behind him.

“Can I help you?” Castiel asked, raising an eyebrow at him.

“Just wondering who ended up giving you a ride after school,” Gabe shrugged. “I know it wasn’t Charlie; you would’ve said so if it was. Have you been making friends behind my back?”

Cas could tell that Gabe was only half-joking, and the fact that there was some hope in his eyes that his little brother was putting himself out there and meeting people made him feel badly.

“It was no one,” Cas shrugged, putting his bag down. “Just a guy from my English class. We got paired up for a presentation and he wanted to make sure we had everything in order so we talked about it on the way home.”

It had been so long since he’d felt the need to lie to Gabe like this, and he could only hope that he wasn’t totally transparent.

“Is he nice?” Gabe asked, sitting on Castiel’s bed.

“Yeah, he’s fine,” Cas said, placing himself down next to his brother. “Why?”

“No reason,” Gabe stated simply, some hidden meaning obvious behind his words.

“Gabe, you’ve gotta stop trying to set me up with people,” Castiel said, rolling his eyes. “I’m fine being on my own, okay?”

“I know, but…you deserve someone,” Gabe said. “Maybe they’d help you get over some of your trust problems and stuff. You should have a good life.”

“I _do_ have a good life,” Cas insisted, putting a hand on Gabe’s shoulder. “Without anyone. So while I appreciate your concern, I just wanna read until I pass out.”

Gabe gave Cas a slight look, but sighed and stood anyway. “Fine,” he said. “But you can change your mind, alright? No one’s gonna judge you for it.”

“I know,” Cas said, smirking as Gabe left the room.

Cas was tempted to just tell Gabe about Dean and what was going on between them, but knew that would go against what he and Dean had agreed on. Gabe wouldn’t tell anyone, but that didn’t mean he’d let Cas hear the end of it. If he told him about their…friendship, or whatever it was, he’d never shut up about it.

Castiel put on a different shirt and took off his pants, then climbed under the covers on his bed. He took out the book he’d been working on for a while and started reading it, getting lost in the fictional world in his hands.

Several hours later, he heard his phone vibrate against the wood of his night stand. He leaned over and picked it up to look at the screen, figuring it was Charlie.

**I’m seriously sorry about everything today. –DW**

**You don’t have anything to be sorry about. You saved my ass back there. –CN**

Dean smirked to himself. **Literally. And don’t sweat it. Those guys are jerks. –DW**

**Is it totally rude of me to ask why you even bother with them if you don’t like them? –CN**

**Nah, it’s fine.** Dean took a deep breath as he thought about how he was gonna word this. **If you want me to be honest, I’m scared of what could happen to me if I leave at this point. Not to mention things with the team would get awkward and we’d probably have trouble playing. –DW**

**And you don’t wanna cause trouble for everyone else just because you’re uncomfortable. –CN**

Dean stared at his phone screen for a second. **Exactly. –DW**

**You’re a selfless guy, Dean. –CN**

**Is that a good thing? –DW**

**You tell me. –CN**

**I don’t think I know anymore. Sometimes it can be, but lately I think I’ve been selfless about the wrong things. And selfish about things I shouldn’t be. –DW**

**When are you ever selfish? I can’t imagine that. –CN**

**The people I care about. I don’t let myself get close to people because I’m afraid I’m gonna do something wrong and lose them. –DW**

Dean hadn’t put himself out there like this in…well, ever. It was terrifying for him to hit the send button on his phone, but he felt like Cas was the only one he could be open with right now.

**I get that. I do the same thing sometimes…it sucks. –CN**

Dean felt his mouth start to smile sadly. **Tell me about it. –DW**

After a few minutes of not getting a reply, Dean was pretty sure that meant the conversation was over. It was late by now, so Cas might have even fallen asleep. He put his phone down on his bed when he heard it go off again.

**Why haven’t you pushed me away yet? –CN**

Dean wasn’t expecting Cas to ask that. No one asked that. And now he was torn between telling him the truth and risking ruining everything they had so far, and lying to protect himself. He hated feeling vulnerable like this, so he decided on being as general as possible.

**Because I’m trying to let myself feel the way I feel about you. –DW**

**And what way is that? –CN**

Dean sighed and closed his eyes. He didn’t exactly want to tell Cas everything over text; it felt impersonal.

**Can we talk about this tomorrow? At my place? I can pick you up where we met after school today. –DW**

**Sure. I’ll see you then. -CN**

Dean exhaled heavily in relief and put his phone down. He covered his eyes with his hands and groaned. How the hell was he going to do this?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are starting to get intense haha ;) 
> 
> Comments, kudos, etc. are always so amazing to get, and thanks for loving this story, you guys. I love you all too! :) 
> 
> castielfuckingnovak.tumblr.com


	10. This Could be Something

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dun dun dun dun! Here's chapter ten, my lovelies :) I hope you guys like it, and thanks so much for being so responsive and loving of this fic <3

Castiel got out of his last class a few minutes early and walked to the part of the school that Dean took him to the other day. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, terrified to do this all day.

**Has he gotten there yet? –CB**

Cas smirked down at his phone. Charlie had been nagging him about this ever since he’d told her at lunch, convinced that Dean was going to do some elaborate love confession under the stars…which obviously wasn’t going to happen any time in the near future.

**No, not yet. I’ll text you after we hang out and tell you what he said. –CN**

**You’d better _call_ me right afterwards and tell me every single word. –CB**

**Fair enough. Talk to you soon. –CN**

Cas put his phone away and leaned against the wall of the school. He didn’t know how long it was going to take Dean to ditch his friends and come out, but he assumed it would be a while.

A few minutes later, Dean came out and turned his head right and left, smiling when his eyes landed on Cas.

“Hey,” Dean greeted, adjusting his backpack over his shoulder. He seemed a little nervous, but that was probably because of their conversation yesterday.

“Hey,” Castiel said. “That was faster than I thought. Didn’t stay with the team too long?”

“I don’t need to tell them where I am all the time,” Dean shrugged, still a little tense.

“You wanna talk about whatever it was that you mentioned yesterday?” Castiel asked, thinking maybe Dean would feel better if he just got it over with.

“No,” Dean said, a little too quickly. “I mean, let’s wait until we get to my place. Come on, Sam’s probably waiting at the car.

“Sure,” Castiel said. He’d already told Gabe not to wait for him, so he walked next to Dean over to the car. He tried to ignore the fact that the lot was mostly empty and if that wasn’t the case, Dean might have waited a little longer to leave.

Sam looked up at them when they approached the car and smiled. “Backseat, got it,” he said, getting in one of the back doors of the car when Dean unlocked it.

Cas glanced over at Dean when he got in the passenger seat before turning his attention to Sam. “Hey Sam,” he greeted. “What’s up?”

“Not much,” Sam replied. “Are we giving you another ride home?”

“I’m going to your place, actually,” Castiel said. “Dean and I have a project.”

Cas saw Dean shake his head as he started the car. “You don’t have to do that, Cas. He knows we’re friends,” he said. “This is the one kid you don’t have to hide anything from, seriously.”

Cas was surprised to hear Dean say that, but he didn’t complain. “Okay,” he said, a smile tugging at his mouth.

Dean just turned on the classic rock radio station and tried to think as he drove them all back to his place. He’d been up all night thinking about how he was going to do this, but still didn’t have a solid idea. Then again, he’d never really been one for romance; as long as he got this off his chest, he’d be fine.

Once they pulled into the driveway, they got out of the car at slightly different times.

“Thanks for taking me back here,” Castiel said as he followed Dean to the door.

“It’s no big deal,” Dean assured him, opening the door and watching as Sam went inside and wasted no time getting to his room.

“Are your parents home?” Castiel asked, looking around for any sign of someone else who could be home.

“No, they won’t be for a while,” Dean replied, running his fingers through his hair nervously. “But uh, let’s go to my room; over here.”

Cas followed Dean down the hallway and turned into his room. “I like it. It’s very ‘you,’” he said, looking around.

There were classic rock posters everywhere and the walls were a dark blue color. The more Cas’ eyes scanned over everything, the more anxious he got about the reason he was there in the first place. If they were here, that meant Dean was about to say something big.

“Thanks,” Dean said, again with hesitation evident in his voice.

“Okay, what is it?” Cas asked, turning around and raising an eyebrow at him. “I hate that we’re dancing around it and I can tell that you’re dying right now.” He was hoping to add a little humor to the situation, but saw that Dean could only force a slight laugh.

“Didn’t think I was being that obvious,” Dean said. “But yeah, this has been weighing on me for a while. And I don’t want you to hate me, and I don’t wanna fuck up saying it, so give me a second to think it through.”

Cas didn’t say anything, instead letting out a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding in.

“Okay,” Dean said after a minute. “I know we have a pretty crazy story as far as how we met and stuff, but the truth is that I haven’t been able to get you outta my head since that first conversation we had.”

Cas just stared at Dean, his eyes slowly starting to show recognition about where he’d been hoping this was headed.

“I’ve never felt okay telling anyone about myself. The gay thing, being insecure about my friends, all that…pretty much everything I told you was totally under wraps until I did,” Dean continued. “And it wasn’t because you were some anonymous stranger on the internet that I could vent to. It was because as fucking stupid as this sounds, I felt a real connection with you.”

Cas opened his mouth, wanting to say that he felt the same way; that he knew what direction Dean was headed in, but figured it was best to let him say everything. He couldn’t deny that he wanted to find out exactly how Dean planned on saying it either. He silently closed his mouth again and nodded.

“And after I got over the shock of finding out who you were, I realized how long I’d gone without noticing someone as amazing as you when you were right there in front of me the whole time,” Dean said, taking a deep breath. His expression had softened slightly from one of anxiety to fondness. “And it drove me crazy to think that I’ve wasted so much time not getting to know you. I’ve never felt like that before, and it’s confusing as hell, but I think I’m starting to get that I need to just let myself feel for once.

“Like I said, I’m selfish. I told myself I couldn’t have you when I met you in person because you were too good for me. As I talked to you and texted you I saw how incredible you were, and I knew you deserved someone who could treat you right and give you everything in the world. I’m not out of the closet and probably won’t be for a while, not to mention the fact that no one knows we’re even friends except my brother. I’m the last thing you need. I’m shitty, selfish, and a coward.

“But then I thought about it some more and realized that even though I can’t give you everything, I can damn sure try. I’ll give you everything I can and make sure you know how much I care about you,” Dean said, his voice getting more passionate. “All this is just a really drawn out way of saying that I like you, Cas. As a hell of a lot more than a friend. And now I’m hoping against all hope that you might feel the same way.”

Cas didn’t say anything for a moment, letting what Dean had said sit in his mind.

“You…you like me?” Castiel asked. This was still a little too surreal for him.

“Yeah,” Dean said, fidgeting slightly. It was obvious that Castiel’s lack of answering was bothering him, but he wasn’t going to push.

“Wow…I never thought I’d hear you say that to me in a million years,” Cas said in shock, a smile spreading over his face. “I’ve liked you for a while now too, Dean.”

Dean’s face lit up at that. “So…does that mean you’d want to go on a date with me?” he asked, still feeling really out of his element. He’d only ever asked Lisa out before, and that was something he’d always half dreaded. Now he could look forward to it and do what he wanted.

“I’d love to,” Cas nodded, a smile permanently etched into his expression. He felt himself blush and quickly looked down, shaking his head. “Sorry, I’m totally red.”

“No, don’t worry about that,” Dean said with a soft laugh. “It’s…cute.”

“You hesitated,” Cas teased.

“I’m not used to being like this with anyone, okay? Give me some time to get used to it,” Dean chuckled. He looked around the room for a moment before gesturing at his bed. “Wanna sit down?”

“Sure; thanks,” Castiel said, sitting down on the edge of Dean’s bed. He smiled at the other teenager as he sat down next to him.

“I really am sorry that I haven’t been standing up for you lately,” Dean said. “I need to get that out of the way. I’m trying to not psych myself out by what could happen if I do, but it’s harder than it should be.”

“You need to stop worrying about that,” Cas said, hesitantly putting his hand on top of Dean’s. “This isn’t exactly a normal situation we have going for us here. If you need some time before you feel okay telling people we know each other, that’s fine. Just don’t let me get killed or anything in the process.” He smiled slightly and took his hand away.

Dean did a horrible job at hiding his disappointment when Cas moved his hand. “How the hell are you so nice?” he asked with a small laugh. “It’s unreal.”

“I’ve had to deal with more than enough shit in my life to know that it does a lot more good to be understanding than to get pissed about every little thing,” Cas said with a shrug. He didn’t want the conversation to turn too serious, but he felt like it needed to be said.

“Yeah, it does,” Dean nodded. He bit his lip like he was carefully considering whatever he was about to say. “But I’m sorry you’ve had to deal with shit in your life…you don’t deserve any of it.”

“I think I’m starting to realize that,” Cas said with a soft smile. “Thanks…it really means a lot.”

“Of course,” Dean said, sitting so his back was against the headboard. “But let’s save the sob stories for later, okay? How was your day?”

Cas smirked and turned so he was facing Dean with his legs crossed. “There’s not a whole lot to tell,” he said. “You know how school is.”

“Yeah,” Dean said. There was a beat of silence before he continued, “There’s something I’ve been wanting to ask you.”

“Sure, what is it?” Cas asked, starting to pull at the sleeve of his shirt. He didn’t miss how Dean’s eyes went straight to the motion and a slight frown of frustration appeared on his face.

“I’ve noticed you hang around with Charlie a lot,” Dean said, putting his hands behind his head and resting against them. “And you talk about her sometimes.”

Cas nodded, pretty sure he already knew what Dean was going to ask.

“Does that mean she’s your gay friend?” Dean asked. He quickly amended himself with, “You don’t have to tell me if she’s…not cool with being out or anything, but I was just wondering.”

Cas chuckled and waved his hand to show it was nothing. “No, she’d be fine with you knowing,” he said. “Don’t go telling everyone, but yeah, she is.”

“I won’t,” Dean said. “That’s cool though. I’ve never talked to her, but she seems nice.”

“She is,” Cas said, a smile coming over his face without him even having to think about it. “Do you have any friends I know? Not football team assholes, but like…real friends.”

The question visibly took Dean aback as he thought for a moment. “Not really,” he said. “I mean, I kind of hang out with Chuck sometimes, but that’s about it.”

“Oh yeah, he was my partner for a project once last year,” Cas nodded. “It’s good you’ve got him then. And me, I guess.”

“Yeah, and you,” Dean agreed. He paused, then said, “So, our date. Are you free this weekend?”

Cas nodded. “I’m pretty much never doing anything,” he laughed.

“Great,” Dean said. “Then how about we go somewhere on Saturday?”

“Sure,” Cas grinned.

“And, uh…if you wanted to, you could come see the game tomorrow,” Dean suggested, trying to be casual about it. “I get if you wouldn’t want to, but if you’re bored it’d be nice to know you’re there.”

“You want me to go to the game?” Cas asked. “That sounds great. I’ll be there.”

“Even though the guys are jerks?” Dean asked, raising an eyebrow at him playfully.

“Well I know for a fact that at least one of them isn’t,” Cas said. He felt butterflies in his stomach when Dean reached out and put his hand on top of his own, stroking his thumb over the skin. “And that’s all I need to convince myself to go.”

Dean smiled and looked down at their hands before making eye contact with Cas again. “Well now the pressure’s really on,” he said. “I’ll be looking for you in the stands.”

“I’ll be the one trying not to be obvious about waving at you,” Cas said with a small smile.

“And I’ll be the one winking at you from the field,” Dean smirked back.

“Because I’d totally be able to see that through your helmet,” Castiel teased.

“Hey, let me try to be a little sweet for once,” Dean joked back. “Just know that’s what I’ll be doing, okay? That and wishing that I could see you after the game instead of going to some lame after party.”

“Why do you have to go to the after party at all?” Castiel asked. “Not that I’m saying you should hang out with me instead or anything, but I hardly think it would make anyone think twice if you said you couldn’t be there.”

“Yeah, I’m thinking about it,” Dean said. “Sometimes it’s exhausting, you know? Trying to figure out what everyone wants from me and playing it off just enough so I can seem normal. I’m still trying to think of a way to tell my dad that I don’t want to play football in college.”

“You don’t?” Castiel asked. “Why? You’re amazing at it.”

“Thanks, but I really don’t think I can do it anymore,” Dean said. “I used to like playing my first few years of high school, but lately it’s just seemed like a burden. I don’t wanna be spending all my free time playing a sport with guys I don’t like.”

“I doubt Uriel and his gang of idiots would follow you into college,” Cas said.

“I know, but it’s not just them,” Dean said. “The whole idea of football hasn’t been doing it for me lately. I wanna be something else; do something better with my life.”

“Like what?” Cas asked curiously. Dean had always seemed ambitious to him, but he just assumed it would always be geared towards football.

“I don’t know,” Dean shrugged. “I always kinda wanted to be a musician…or work with cars or engineering.”

“I could see that,” Castiel nodded, easily picturing it in his mind. “You love your car. And your classic rock. Why wouldn’t your dad be supportive of that?”

“I’ve always been the athletic son,” Dean shrugged. “Sam’s into books and grades, which is great, but I could tell my dad wanted someone to play ball with when I was little, you know? I filled that role just to make him happy and before I knew it I was joining a football team. Passion for it was kind of built in for me since I thought I needed to please my dad. I thought the only way he was ever gonna be proud of me was if I did well in football.”

Cas nodded understandingly. “I’m sorry you’ve got to deal with that,” he said. “But if he really cares about you as his son, then there are gonna be way more ways to make him proud of you than just football.”

“And if there aren’t?” Dean asked as he sat up, the question that had been weighing on his mind for far too long.

“Then he doesn’t deserve to be in your life,” Cas said. “I know it’s a lot simpler to say it, but it would be for the best if he isn’t going to support you no matter what.”

“You’re right,” Dean said. “Maybe one of these days I can tell him I’m gonna do what I want.”

“And when you do, I’ll be right there for you. No matter what happens,” Castiel said, turning his hand over underneath Dean’s so he could squeeze it comfortingly.

Dean looked up into Castiel’s eyes for a moment before his gaze flicked to the other teen’s lips.

Cas froze as Dean started to lean in, but soon found himself doing the same. Everything about this moment felt so right.

Just before their lips touched, however, there was a knock at Dean’s bedroom door. They stopped and Cas reluctantly pulled away, noticing that Dean had cast his gaze down at the bed and was running his fingers through his hair uncomfortably.

“I’m home early,” Mary announced through the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shit Mary, why'd you have to go and ruin that beautiful moment? 
> 
> Haha until next week everyone! :) I'll be out of town all weekend not doing anything other than relaxing in Oregon, so hopefully that means a lot more writing time.
> 
> Comments, kudos, etc. are amazing to get and feel free to follow me on tumblr :D
> 
> castielfuckingnovak.tumblr.com


	11. The Game

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 11 woo! Thanks for being so awesome and supportive about this story guys, seriously. It means the world to me, and keeps it going <3

“Alright, hey mom,” Dean said through the door, clearing his throat as they heard her walk away.

Cas looked towards the door, then back at Dean. “I guess that means I should leave,” he said, halfway asking.

“You don’t have to,” Dean said, trying not to sound desperate for him to stay. “But, I mean…whatever makes you comfortable.”

“”I should get home; my parents are back,” Castiel said. “This was really fun though.”

“Yeah, it was,” Dean said, his eyes flicking down to Castiel’s lips. He only hesitated a moment before he leaned in and softly pressed their mouths together.

Cas immediately closed his eyes and kissed Dean back chastely before pulling away and looking into his bright green eyes with a smile.

“I’ll see you tomorrow then? At the game?” Castiel asked as Dean set his hand on top of his own.

“Definitely,” Dean smiled, standing up. “Come on, I’ll drive you home…might run into my mom though.”

“You don’t have to do that,” Castiel said, joining him as they walked to the door.

“Come on, if I dragged you over here after school, the least I can do is get you back home,” Dean said, resting his hand on the doorknob. “We might run into my mom though, just a heads up.”

“That’s fine. Do you like your mom? Better than your dad, anyway?”  Castiel asked, slightly surprised by how polite Dean was being. He’d just expected to call Gabe from outside to come get him, not this.

“Yeah, my mom’s the best,” Dean smiled, opening the door and walking into the hallway with him.

Just as they rounded the corner, Mary looked up at them from the kitchen and grinned, wiping her hands on a towel near her. “Hey,” she greeted. “Who’s this?”

“Mom, this is Cas. Cas, this is my mom,” Dean said, gesturing at them both as he introduced them. “Cas is a friend from school.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Mrs. Winchester,” Castiel smiled shyly.

“Please, call me Mary,” Dean’s mom said, walking over to them and shaking Castiel’s hand. “It’s nice to meet you too. Always good to see Dean making friends outside of the football team.”

Cas glanced over at Dean before nodding at Mary in agreement.

“Well I promised I’d take Cas home,” Dean said, not wanting this to drag out long enough for them to have any awkward silences. “But I’ll be back in fifteen minutes, probably.”

“Sounds good. I hope I see you around more often, Cas,” Mary said, grinning at them both.

“Me too,” Cas replied.

“You definitely will,” Dean said, hoping it sounded as casual as he intended. He patted Cas on the shoulder and started leading him to the door, waving to his mom as they left.

“She’s really nice,” Cas said, sparing a glance at the door while they made their way to the Impala.

“Thanks,” Dean said, letting out a small laugh and shrugging. “Sorry, I don’t know what I’m supposed to say when someone compliments my mom.”

Cas chuckled and shrugged back as they climbed into their seats of the Impala. “Me neither,” he said. “Your guess is as good as mine. Charlie’s the only person who’s ever met my parents, and she’s only met them once.”

Dean gave him a look as he pulled out of the driveway. “But you guys hang out all the time,” he said. “How does that work?”

Cas thought for a moment before deciding the truth would be best in the end. It seemed like he and Dean could really be something together, and he didn’t want to keep too many secrets.

“They’re pretty much never around,” Cas said, trying not to make it sound as tough as it was to deal with most of the time. “Ever since I was little, they always left me and my siblings alone…they don’t care for being parents, I don’t think. At least not real ones. They think they’re doing a good enough job, but the therapist I had for five years would disagree.”

“You had a therapist?” Dean asked, choosing to go with that rather than comment on all the heavy stuff just yet.

“Yeah. I had abandonment issues for a while after I realized what my parents were doing,” Castiel said. “That and a lot of pent up anger.”

“You don’t seem like you’ve got too much anger,” Dean said. “Guess the therapy helped?”

“Relatively well,” Cas nodded.  “I never blew up or anything, and I still get pissed at my parents, but I’ve got it all under control. My abandonment issues are still there, but I’m slowly getting better with that too. Getting to a place where I can be happy.”

“That’s good,” Dean said, glancing over at him with a small smile. “You shouldn’t have to deal with any of that in the first place, but you now…it’s good you’re doing what you can.”

Cas nodded as they pulled into his driveway. He knew his parents were probably home, but it wasn’t like they’d be looking out the window waiting for him. He looked at Dean and leaned over, gently brushing their lips together.

Dean kissed him back, smiling absentmindedly when they pulled back.

“Thanks for the ride,” Cas said, blushing as he opened the car door.

“No problem,” Dean said. “I’ll talk to you soon.”

“Talk to you soon,” Cas returned, getting out and closing the car door.

Dean watched as Cas walked up to his front door, turning around and waving before disappearing inside. By now he was grinning ear to ear, and bit his lip as he pulled back onto the street.

He’d just kissed Castiel Novak. Twice. That was all that was going through his mind as he went back home, and he couldn’t shake the feeling of butterflies in his stomach; and he wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.

When Dean got back home, he closed the door and leaned his head against it, taking a moment to be happy about his life for once.

Sam rounded the corner and motioned for Dean to follow him, so he pushed himself off the door and did just that. They wound up in Sam’s room, and he closed the door behind them.

“So what happened?” Sam asked, sitting down on his bed.

“What makes you think something happened?” Dean countered, sitting next to him.

“Your face,” Sam said with a knowing smirk. “You don’t just hang out with someone, offer to drive him home, then come back with a huge smile on your face and say nothing happened.”

“I’m gonna have to figure out a way to outsmart you one of these days,” Dean joked, ruffling Sam’s hair. “You really wanna know?”

“You kidding? Of course I do,” Sam said. “This is the first time you’ve ever really liked someone. I need to know everything.”

Dean rolled his eyes. “I feel like I’m at a slumber party,” he said in exasperation. “But fine. Only because you’re my brother.”

“Don’t act like you don’t love telling me this stuff,” Sam replied.

“Well I haven’t gotten the chance to yet. So shut up,” Dean teased, nudging him playfully. “Well, we talked for a bit about some stuff…then I told him how I felt. And I was nervous as hell ‘cause I was afraid I’d scare him off, but somehow I didn’t. Long story short, he said he liked me too, we have a date on Saturday, and he’s coming to the game tomorrow.”

“He is? That’s awesome,” Sam smiled. “Didn’t think you’d take a risk like that yet.”

“It’s hardly a risk, Sam,” Dean pointed out. “No one has to know why he’s there, and no one’s gonna be able to tell who I’m winking at when I take my helmet off.”

“Good point,” Sam agreed. “I’m really happy for you guys…does that mean you’re gonna be boyfriends then?” He raised an eyebrow expectantly.

“I don’t know,” Dean shrugged. “I mean…that’s a while away. I don’t wanna rush things.”

“You really care about this guy, don’t you?” Sam asked knowingly. “I’ve never seen you _not_ wanna rush into something.”

“Nothing ever really mattered before this,” Dean said. “I care about him a lot, and I’m not gonna ask him to be my boyfriend right off the bat. I’m gonna do this right.”

“Is there a right way here?” Sam asked with a slight laugh.

“Probably not. But I’ll do it whatever way feels right,” Dean said. He paused before adding, “We kissed though, so that’s a good sign.”

“You kissed?” Sam asked, trying to keep his voice down. “When?”

“After he admitted he liked me too, and when I dropped him off at his place,” Dean said, a smile coming over his face again just thinking about it.

“That’s fantastic,” Sam said enthusiastically. “I’ll take your ridiculous face right now to mean it was good?”

“It was perfect,” Dean said. He didn’t even care how cheesy it sounded, either. For once in his life, he was on top of the world.

 

 

The next evening, Castiel arrived at the school about twenty minutes before the football game started, figuring that meant he could get a decent seat. He was wrong.

There were people everywhere, crowded with their friends throughout the bleachers and walking around trying to get wherever they needed to be.

Several people rammed into Cas as they called out to their friends who had just arrived and needed to get past him, but he tried to ignore that. He wasn’t going to let his time here be ruined before Dean even got on the field.

Once Cas found a place to sit that seemed secluded enough, he took out his phone.

**I don’t know if you even have your phone on you, but I just got a place to sit and I’m lonely so I thought I’d give this a shot. –CN**

Several minutes passed with Cas convinced he wouldn’t get a reply until after the game before he felt his phone vibrate.

**I’ve got my phone. Where are you sitting? I need to know where to look. –DW**

**Is that your way of telling me you wouldn’t be able to find me on your own? –CN**

Cas hoped Dean would get that he was joking, but he sent the text anyway.

**You’re already on to me. I can’t remember what you look like. –DW**

Cas huffed out a small laugh as he typed out his reply.

**Well I guess I have to tell you where I am now, don’t I? From where you’ll be, I’m on the left side of the bleachers, near the top. Wearing the big black jacket. –CN**

**You cold? –DW**

**Constantly. How you manage to survive the first bit of the game without winter coats on, I’ll never know. –CN**

**It takes years of intense training, trust me. –DW**

**I’ll bet it does, haha. –CN**

**If I could give you my letterman jacket, I would. –DW**

Cas looked down at his screen, grinning widely now. Even though he knew they might never get to a point where he could wear Dean’s jacket in public, the idea in and of itself was enough to make Castiel’s insides flutter.

**And I’d wear it every day. –CN**

**Is it pathetic that thinking about wearing your jacket makes me insanely happy? –CN**

**Not at all. And I’ll let you wear it on our date tomorrow if you want to. –DW**

**Seriously? –CN**

**Hell yeah. It’d look great on you. –DW**

**Thanks, Dean. –CN**

**You’re welcome. Sorry, I’ve gotta go. They’re calling us out to the field. –DW**

**Alright. Kick ass out there. –CN**

**I will for you ;) –DW**

Cas gripped his phone a little tighter and sighed as he exited out of his messages. Maybe he and Dean could be happy just like this, without anyone other than Sam and Charlie knowing about them. It was kind of thrilling.

Just as Cas started to get carried away in his own head, the announcer came on and gave the opening speech before the team came running out onto the field.

Cas cheered when he saw Dean’s number as he ran out and waved at the crowd.

Football definitely wasn’t Castiel’s forte, so occasionally during the game if he got lost he went off of the reactions of people around him. Luckily that wasn’t too often, and every time Dean scored a touchdown Cas clapped and hollered excitedly.

Eventually it was down to the last few seconds of the game, and Dean’s team was winning. Even though it was pretty obvious who the winner would be, there wasn’t a bit of energy drained out of the crowd.

Dean ended up getting another miraculous touchdown just before the clock went out, sending the crowd into a frenzy.

Cas cheered and watched as Dean’s teammates swarmed him and gave him encouraging pats on the shoulder. Uriel grabbed his helmet and said something to him, patting him on the shoulder before congratulating someone else.

Cas watched as Dean took his helmet off and grinned at the crowd, waving at everyone. When his eyes landed on Cas, he winked.

Castiel took a deep breath and smiled back at him, getting a thrill at knowing no one else knew that wink was for him. They were their own secret, and it was perfect.

Dean turned around and spoke to a few other members of the team before they all exited the field and the bleachers started to empty out.

Cas followed the moving group of teenagers out of the stadium and into the parking lot, ready to go back home. Even though the game was fun to watch, he was already missing his room. He didn’t want to be at school any longer than he had to, and coming back on a Friday night wasn’t his idea of a good time. Then again, seeing Dean made it a little more worth it.

Just as Cas separated from the huge group of kids that had left the stadium and started walking out to his car, he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket.

**You still at school? –DW**

**Kind of. I’m in the parking lot. Why? –CN**

**The hallway outside the locker room is totally empty. Wanna meet me in here? –DW**

Cas smiled down at his phone. **Sure. I’ll be there in five minutes. –CN**

Castiel put his phone away and turned around to walk inside the school. It didn’t take him long to get to the hallway, and he gave Dean a shy wave when he saw him waiting at the end of it.

“Congratulations on the win, star player,” Castiel said playfully.

“Thanks,” Dean chuckled, pulling Cas in for a hug when he got close enough. “I kept looking over at you whenever I needed an extra push…it was great knowing you were in the crowd.”

“And I actually liked watching the game knowing you were down on the field,” Castiel said with a slight laugh as he pulled away, still keeping his arms around Dean’s neck while he felt Dean’s hands stay on his waist. “I’m glad I get to see you now too though.”

“Me too,” Dean said. “I waited until everyone cleared the locker room to text you, but I was really hoping you wouldn’t have left yet.”

“So does that mean you’re not going to whatever party I’m sure is happening right now?” Castiel asked curiously, raising an eyebrow at him.

“I’m gonna try to get out of it,” Dean said a nod. “Not in a partying mood, despite everything. Uriel’s been getting on my nerves; the last thing I wanna do is spend time with him. Plus, he keeps trying to get me to hook up with random girls wherever we go. And even though I’m not sure exactly what this is we’ve got going here, I like it. A lot. I don’t wanna deal with all the bullshit Uriel would dump on me tonight when I could be here with you.”

Cas blushed and threaded his fingers through Dean’s hair. He wasn’t sure how to respond to that, so hopefully Dean would understand everything he knew he wouldn’t be able to say.

Dean glanced down at Castiel’s mouth, then back up at his deep blue eyes. He pulled Cas a little closer at the waist and kissed him softly, smiling against his lips.

“And look what we have here…I fucking knew it,” Uriel’s voice came from the other end of the hallway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh shit. Drama's about to ensue ;) 
> 
> Hope you guys liked it and are at the edge of your seats haha. 
> 
> I'll see you all next week, and please leave comments, kudos, and all that fun stuff :) I love you all! <3
> 
> castielfuckingnovak.tumblr.com


	12. Becoming Who We Are

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter twelve time!
> 
> Sorry I waited until this morning to update instead of last night. I just started college, so things have been kind of crazy for me lately. 
> 
> Hope you like it :D

Dean immediately pulled away from Cas and looked at Uriel in horror. What the hell was he supposed to do? There were about a million thoughts running through his head right now.

He could deny everything and push Cas away. That was the easiest option, and the one that would save how everyone at school viewed him. A few weeks ago, it would’ve been the thing he’d do without a second to consider otherwise.

Now though, Dean wasn’t sure. Pushing Cas away for any reason seemed unimaginable to him now, no matter how difficult it would be to face the truth.

Deep down, Dean knew that this would have happened one way or another. Eventually someone would’ve caught them, or maybe Dean would have just chosen to come out on his own…even though this was far from the ideal situation, it was inevitable. And he might as well take the high road.

“You knew what?” Dean asked, trying to buy as much time as he could to think about how he was going to handle this.

“That you were a fag,” Uriel said, an evil grin coming over his face as he looked between Dean and Castiel. “And that you were probably fucking Castiel. Couldn’t think of any other reason you’d suddenly jump to his defense like you have been lately. You’ve been off ever since you broke up with Lisa, and I thought it might’ve been because of this little shit.” He locked his gaze on Cas and took a few steps closer to them.

“Stay the hell away from him,” Dean said, side-stepping so he was in between them even though the distance was great enough that there wasn’t an immediate threat. “Whatever problem you’ve got with me, we’ll deal with it later. But Cas isn’t gonna be a part of this.”

Cas looked at Dean worriedly. He wasn’t sure what the hell was about the happen, but nothing seemed good.

“What do you want, Uriel?” Castiel demanded, hoping he sounded more secure than he felt.

Uriel just sneered and looked back and forth between them again. “Nothing,” he said. “Nothing at all. But you’d better believe everyone’s gonna hear about this.”

“You don’t have any power over me, Uriel,” Dean said with conviction. “You don’t have any power over either of us. Whatever you wanna do, go ahead. I’m done pretending that I ever cared what you thought of me.”

Uriel laughed and took a few steps closer to Dean, getting in his face. “You’re pretty funny, Winchester,” he said. “Let’s not get carried away here in your act of saving the day. Don’t stand there and say you never cared what I thought…we both know you still care what I think. That’s the only reason you haven’t said anything about this until now.

If you really didn’t give a fuck what I said or thought, we wouldn’t be standing here right now. You would’ve said something a long time ago; been out and proud and all that shit. But instead, you’re here. Kissing your boyfriend in the dark hoping that no one from the team comes back looking for ya. So you can lie to yourself all you want, but deep down you know you cared what I thought ever since you met me. And you still do. You’re scared as hell right now cuz I can make you suffer for this.”

Dean swallowed anxiously, but stood his ground. This had gone on for too long, and the more he thought about it, the more he knew he was ready for anything that was about to happen. Cas mattered a lot to him, and he wasn’t going to let this tear them apart. There was no way Dean could stand here and deny what they were to each other anymore; whatever that was.

“Well whatever you’re gonna do, there’s no way around it now,” he said. “So go ahead and get it over with.”

Uriel reached out and shoved Dean’s shoulders so hard that he stumbled backward a few steps.

“Let’s not do this, man,” Dean tried, putting his hands up to show he didn’t want to fight. He wasn’t in the mood for this, and he could feel his anger rising.

“Not do what, bitch?” Uriel asked, shoving him again. “Too scared to fight me too?”

“I’m not scared. It just doesn’t matter,” Dean said, looking Uriel firmly in the eyes as he pointed at Castiel. “He’s the only thing I give a shit about right now…so fuck off and do whatever pathetic thing you have to so everyone will hate me. I’d rather have them hate me for this than like me for hanging out with you. You’ve pushed it too far Uriel, and I’m done with you.”

Uriel just stared at him. “Feeling’s mutual,” he said, turning to face Cas. “And as for you. If you thought shit was bad before, it’s gonna get worse. And now Dean’s not gonna know what we’re planning, so there’s no way for him to bail you out like I’m sure he’s done before.”

“Uriel,” Dean said shortly. “Leave him alone. You’ve got a problem with me, not him.”

“Got a problem with both of ya. Better get used to it; there’s about to be a new natural order around here, and it’s gonna fuck you up, Winchester,” Uriel warned, backing up with a menacing look on his face.

“Get outta here,” Dean practically yelled.

Uriel slowly turned around and exited the hallway, leaving Dean and Cas to sit there in shock and silence.

“Dean, I-…I don’t know what to say,” Castiel said, guilt dripping in his tone.

Dean turned around and shook his head. “Don’t you dare be sorry,” he said, already able to tell that Cas was about to apologize. He pulled Cas into a hug and ran his hands up and down his lower back soothingly. “You don’t have anything to be sorry about, okay?”

Cas slowly wrapped his arms around Dean’s neck and nodded. “Okay,” he said, even though he didn’t fully believe it.

He knew it wasn’t his fault that Uriel had walked in, but it seemed like he was at least part of the problem. If he hadn’t gone to the game, hadn’t agreed to meet Dean here, and hadn’t kissed him so soon, then maybe they could have avoided this whole thing.

“Thank you for standing by me,” Cas murmured, needing to say at least that much. “You didn’t have to.”

“I know,” Dean replied quietly. “But I want to. You’re more important to me than any one of those idiots on the team ever was. I’d rather stay by your side than be surrounded by all those fake assholes.”

Tears came to Castiel’s eyes without him even realizing it until they fell down his face. He gripped Dean a little tighter and sighed. “This means a lot to me,” he said. “I know you were nervous about how people would treat you if they ever found out.”

 

“Yeah…guess we’ll find out tomorrow who my real friends are,” Dean said, trying to make a bit of a joke out of this. “Does it make me a bad person to admit I’m nervous about what everyone’s gonna say and do when they hear?”

“No, it makes you a person,” Cas assured him.

Dean took a deep breath before a realization came over him. “I’m an insensitive bastard, aren’t I?” he said, pulling away from Cas just enough to look at him. “I’m standing here worried as hell about me, when you’re probably freaking out too.”

“Not too much, actually,” Cas said. “I don’t have everything on the line like you do. I’ve only got one friend, and she doesn’t care that I’m gay, so…I think I’m alright. The only thing I’m nervous about is someone trying to hurt me.”

“You shouldn’t be nervous about anything though,” Dean insisted, getting frustrated with himself. “Especially not someone hurting you. That’s bullshit, and I’m not gonna let anyone get away with that.”

“Dean, you don’t have to help me out,” Castiel said. Even though he wanted Dean to, he couldn’t selfishly ask to become his priority.

“I want to. It’s that simple,” Dean said. “Seriously, call me any time and I’ll pick up. I’ll be there for you.”

Cas smiled softly at him and nodded. “I will,” he said. “And the same goes for you. Even if it’s late and you just wanna talk about however you’re feeling.”

“I think I’m past my ego getting damaged,” Dean said. “And for the first time, I mean it…it’s kinda nice, you know? Like a weight just lifted off of me. Not that much, but still; enough to make a difference.”

“I’m glad for you then,” Cas said. “Sometimes you just have to take the small victories.”

“Yeah,” Dean said. “But now I’m thinking about what this means I’ll have to tell my parents.”

“Why would you have to tell your parents anything?” Castiel asked in confusion, his eyebrows furrowing slightly.

“Because they’re gonna hear about it one way or another,” Dean said, clenching and unclenching his fists in anxiety. “And I think they’d rather hear it from me than some random kid spreading shit about me in the grocery store.”

“Why would they believe anyone but you?” Castiel asked. “They know kids spread rumors all the time. Doesn’t mean they’re true.”

“But they’d still ask,” Dean pointed out. “Either because they don’t want it to be true, or they wanna know for sure. And I don’t know how they’d react.”

“Then you can lie,” Cas said. “I mean, that’s not exactly the best option, but you could say no one knows what they’re talking about…if it means your family wouldn’t kick you out of the house, that’s what you should do.”

“I’m not ashamed of this, Cas,” Dean said, gesturing between them. “Whatever this is, I don’t wanna hide it anymore. I don’t want to be with you and have to consciously remind myself not to try to hold your hand or put my arm around you…after so long denying myself of _being myself_ I don’t wanna hold back anymore.”

Cas nodded, not wanting to risk his voice breaking with emotion if he spoke out loud.

Dean seemed to understand, and he kissed him softly. The amount of acceptance and reassurance in that moment was enough to make Cas feel like maybe everything really would be okay for once.

When they pulled apart, Castiel looked at Dean and gave him a small nod.

“I’ll see you tomorrow then?” Cas asked.

“See you tomorrow. I’ll let you know tonight how the whole ‘coming out’ thing goes,” Dean said, trying not to let the horrible feeling clinging to that idea show itself in his words.

“You’re doing it tonight?” Castiel asked, not sure if that was such a great idea. Everything was still so intense after the game, and the panic from seeing Uriel… “What if you wake up tomorrow and think that it wasn’t a good idea to tell them yet? Don’t do anything irrational because you’re freaking out right now.”

“I won’t,” Dean said. “This is the most clear-headed I’ve been in a while. Besides, winning the game will be enough to soften the blow for my dad.”

“Whatever you want,” Cas said. “As long as you promise you’re not getting into something that could end badly.”

“I promise,” Dean said, knowing he should at least be okay with his mom. Hopefully that would be enough to keep him safe for a while.

“Okay,” Cas said, kissing him again quickly. “Night, Dean.”

“Night, Cas,” Dean replied softly, squeezing Castiel’s hand once before he left and went outside.

 

 

The entire drive home was hell for Dean. What was he even going to say? How was he even going to bring it up? There were about a million questions going through his mind that he didn’t have a single answer to.

When Dean got home, he sat in the driveway for a few minutes and rehearsed a few different ways he could say it until he felt like he was relatively ready.

Dean walked in the door and saw his parents and Sam all sitting in the living room, watching TV.

“We just heard you guys won,” John said, turning around from the TV to watch Dean come in.

“Uh, yeah…I scored the last touchdown,” Dean said. “It was kind of already in the bag, but that was cool.”

“Awesome,” Sam agreed enthusiastically.

“Well what are you doing standing in front of the door like that?” Mary asked, looking Dean up and down. “Come on, sit down and watch this show with us.”

“Okay,” Dean said, taking his shoes off and walking into the living room. He sat down in a chair next to the couch, closest to Sam.

“You alright?” Sam asked in a hushed tone, looking over at Dean with something between confusion and concern.

“Yeah, fine,” Dean replied. He took a deep breath and looked over at his parents, who were watching whatever was on and blissfully unaware that their son was minutes away from coming out to them. He had no idea how they were going to handle this. “Hey, mom? Dad? There’s something I wanna talk to you about.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And the dramatic cliffhanger yet again haha what's gonna happen?? 
> 
> I'll see you guys next week, hopefully updating Tuesday night again. 
> 
> Comments, kudos, etc. are always fantastic, and thanks so much for keeping this story alive as long as it has been <3
> 
> castielfuckingnovak.tumblr.com


	13. Tough Times

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay, another chapter! 
> 
> Thanks again for being so great about supporting this story :)

“What is it, dear?” Mary asked, turning her attention towards Dean.

Dean waited a moment, watching as his father glanced over at him too. There was something pressing about his expression, like he was already judging Dean for whatever was about to come out of his mouth.

“Well?” John asked expectantly, looking Dean over somewhat cautiously.

Dean felt Sam’s eyes wander over to him as well. He stole a look at his younger brother, and could instantly tell what he was trying to say through his eyes.

Sam shot Dean an expression that silently asked, _Are you sure you wanna do this now?_

Even though Dean knew that Sam had faith in him, maybe he had in a point. He could wait a little longer until he knew exactly what he was going to say…but that had never really been his style to begin with.

“Um…you guys know that I’ve been hanging out with Cas a lot,” Dean started, hoping it wasn’t too obvious where he was going with this yet. Then again, maybe it would save him having to say the actual words out loud.

“Cas?” John asked, looking from him to Mary. “You know who he’s talking about?”

“Yeah, he was here the other day,” Mary clarified with a small nod. “What about him, dear? Is he alright?”

Dean nodded and sighed, running his fingers through his hair. “Yeah…yeah, he’s alright, mom,” he said, stalling for a moment as he thought this through for another useless time. He was too far to turn back now. “But there’s something you need to know about him…and me.”

Dean didn’t miss how his father’s eyes narrowed slightly, and the tension in the room went up drastically.

“And what’s that?” John asked, each word that came out of his mouth cut short in what appeared to be repressed anger.

“We, um…we’re kind of not just friends,” Dean said, a little too quickly. He took a deep breath during the silence that followed, then continued, “I don’t know what we are…but we’re more than that. I’m gay, and I’ve been so scared to tell you; but he means so much to me that I can’t just keep it from you anymore.”

Everything in the room went still, and Dean couldn’t really read either of his parents’ faces. He held his breath, bracing himself for whatever was about to come.

“You’re gay?” John asked, his voice firm and unforgiving.

“Yeah,” Dean nodded, trying to seem confident. He leaned forward and forced himself to make eye contact with his father. “And I’m tired of fighting who I really am all the time, dad. I’m tired of pretending that I’m this girl crazed jock all the time when that’s the farthest thing from the truth.”

“So you think the only option is to start dating the first guy you see?” John asked, his voice starting to get an angry edge. “You’re not gay, Dean. You’re figuring yourself out, but you’re not gay.” The way he said it made the matter seem final.

“That’s your problem, dad,” Dean replied, his voice getting a small push of rage as well. All of the emotions he’d been forced to push down were making their way to the surface again. “You think just because you say something, that’s all there is to it. You don’t know how I feel…you need to _realize_ that, and _get over it_. Everyone doesn’t live to please you. I’ve spent the last seventeen years of my life trying to, and it’s been miserable.

“You’re uncomfortable? Good. Then maybe you’ll know a _fraction_ of the pain I’ve been through my entire life every time I thought to myself that I wasn’t normal. There’s nothing worse than waking up in the morning and having your first thought be that you’re an embarrassment…that your parents won’t be proud of you. That if anyone knew the truth they’d hate you. But you know what? As awful as that is, and as terrified as I am, nothing could be worse than another day of that hell.”

Mary’s eyes flicked from Dean to John, and she put a hand on her husband’s shoulder.

“Let’s not overreact, John,” she said softly. “Just let that sink in for a minute.”

“Let it sink in?!” John asked, infuriated. He glared at Mary and stood up, now breathing a little heavier. “What the fuck am I supposed to do, Mary? Our son just told us he’s gay and you wanna sit around and think about it? There’s nothing to think about.”

John turned around and focused his attention back on Dean, who swallowed anxiously when he saw how mad his father was.

“As for you,” John said threateningly, pointing at his oldest son with a threatening finality. “You will _not_ be staying in this house anymore…I won’t be held responsible for a disgrace.”

Dean didn’t even realize he was crying until he felt the tears come down his face. He couldn’t tell if they were tears of rage, sadness, or just everything at once since he’d denied himself the opportunity to cry so many times before.

Dean looked down into his lap, wiping at his eyes. He wasn’t ashamed to be crying, but he couldn’t let his father see that he had that much power over him. John didn’t deserve that kind of victory.

After several seconds, Dean heard John turn and storm out of the room. A short while later, a door slammed from upstairs and caused Dean to flinch.

“Honey,” Mary said, scooting closer to Dean on the couch and draping her arm around his shoulders. “I’m sorry about him…but I want you to know that I love you _so_ much. No matter what.”

Dean shifted in his spot so he could wrap his arms around his mom in an embrace and cry into her hair. “Why does he hate me so much?” he whispered, confused and hurt.

“He doesn’t hate you, love,” Mary soothed. “He needs some time to cool off, but he won’t kick you out of the house. I promise you that.”

“You heard him, mom. He was pretty clear,” Dean muttered.

“Then we’ll move if we have to. You, me, and Sam,” Mary assured him. “But I won’t sit back and let him try to get rid of you for any reason…especially one like this. There’s nothing wrong with you, Dean.”

“I know,” Dean murmured, pulling away from her and wiping at his eyes again. “But it’s hard…to think that being yourself means it can turn your entire life around.”

“It’s the most unfair thing about the world,” Mary agreed. “I’m so proud of you though.”

“Really?” Dean asked. He could hardly believe something like that was true. Even though his mom might be accepting, he couldn’t see her being proud. His simple confession could very well have just ripped their family apart. “But dad…” he didn’t even know how he wanted to finish that sentence.

“I don’t care about your father right now,” Mary said, the statement shocking Dean as he looked at her. “It’s no secret we’ve been having some issues lately…and even though I want to think he can change, maybe this is a sign. Maybe this means we’d all be better off without him around.”

“Better off without him around,” Dean repeated. Even though the thought scared him at first, the more he considered it, the more it made sense. John was the source of all of Dean’s insecurities and problems, so it would be for the best to just get away from him. “Yeah…”

“Did you already know about Dean, Sam?” Mary asked, giving Sam the floor for the first time since Dean came out.

“Yeah, I knew,” Sam nodded. “And I think you’re right about dad.”

“You’d be okay with leaving him?” Dean asked.

“Are you kidding?” Sam asked, raising his eyebrows at Dean. “You’re way more important to me than dad is. Besides, he’s totally insane for thinking that he can just kick you out on the street and have that be the end of it. Mom and I are always gonna have your back, Dean, and there’s no way we’d chicken out now.”

Dean gave Sam as much of a smile as he could manage. “Thanks Sammy,” he said.

Mary sighed and stood up. “I’m gonna go talk to your father,” she said. “See if I can’t talk him down a bit.”

Dean turned his gaze back on her and nodded. “Okay…thanks, mom. I love you,” he said.

“I love you too,” Mary said affectionately before going up to where John had run off.

“God…that went about as well as I expected,” Dean said with a self-deprecating laugh.

“Hey, at least you said it,” Sam pointed out. “Now it’s out there, and you don’t have to hide anymore.”

“Yeah, but now we might have to move out of the house,” Dean murmured, putting his head in his hands. “And that’s all my fault…maybe I could’ve just kept it to myself until I was already moved out. Then you wouldn’t have to be involved in all this shit.”

“Either way I would’ve been involved,” Sam said. “This way I won’t be forced to live with the bastard another few years when he probably wouldn’t even let me see you on holidays.”

Dean sighed and nodded. “You’re right,” he said. “We can have better lives now.”

“We can,” Sam said. “And there’s always the possibility that dad could calm down and come to his senses.”

“This is dad we’re talking about,” Dean said, rolling his eyes at the mere notion. “He’s never come to his senses in his life.”

Sam just sighed heavily and nodded, not needing to say any more than that.

“I’m gonna go call Cas,” Dean said, standing up. “He should know I did this, and what happened.”

“Okay…I’ll let you know if mom comes back,” Sam replied, giving Dean a small wave as he turned and walked back to his room.

Dean leaned against his door when he got back to his room. Any moment now, things could go completely sideways. He could already hear his mom and dad starting to raise their voices at each other, and he tried to block it out.

He took his phone out and selected Castiel’s number, calling him as he sat down on the edge of his bed. The rings seemed like they were taking an eternity.

“Hello, Dean,” Cas said into the receiver when he picked up.

Dean breathed out a sigh of relief at hearing Cas’s voice on the other end, that alone being enough to make him feel like everything wouldn’t turn to shit.

“Heya Cas,” Dean replied, his voice sounding more soft than he intended it to.

There was a short pause before Castiel continued. “Are you okay?” he asked, concern filling his voice.

“I don’t know…not really,” Dean confessed. And damn, did it feel good to not have to be strong for a while.

“Is this about what happened with Uriel?” Castiel asked. “Did he already try to do something to you?”

“No, nothing like that,” Dean assured him, taking a deep breath. “I just came out to my parents.”

There was another moment of silence.

“How’d they take it?” Castiel asked cautiously.

“Not so great,” Dean said. “I mean…my mom was okay with it, but my dad freaked out. He said I was a disgrace and basically kicked me out of the house.”

“Dean…” Cas trailed off. “I’m so sorry…I wish I knew what to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything. Just having you to talk to is enough,” Dean nodded, even though he knew Cas couldn’t see him. “My mom’s trying to talk my dad out of whatever the hell just came over him, but she’s not gonna be able to. She said she might just take me and Sam and move somewhere else to get away from him.”

“Move where?” Castiel asked with a sense of urgency.

“I don’t know,” Dean said. “Not anything extreme, just out of the house. If we play our cards right, we might even be able to talk him into leaving so the rest of us can keep staying here.”

“You’d really want that?” Castiel asked. “Seems like a huge change.”

“Sure, it’s a huge change…but it’s a change I’ve gotta make,” Dean said. “I’m not broken up about it, if that’s what you’re worried about. It’s weird, actually. I don’t feel a lot at all.”

There was another second of silence in which Dean could practically hear Cas nodding.

“Then good for you,” Cas said. “A fresh start might be just what you need. At home, anyway.”

Dean hummed in agreement. “You gonna tell your parents?” he asked.

“Honestly, I don’t think they’d care,” Castiel said. “And not in the ‘cool’ way, or whatever. They’ve never cared about anything I tell them; don’t see why they would when I tell them there’s a guy I have a thing with.”

Dean looked at his wall and sighed. “I’m really sorry your parents aren’t there for you,” he said.

“It’s fine,” Castiel lied. He didn’t even try to make it sound believable anymore. “Gabe’s there for me. And so is Luc…and you. As far as I’m concerned, that’s all I need to make me happy. My parents never cared what I did with my life, so I stopped caring if they were a part of it.”

“I get that,” Dean said. “And hey, if you ever need anyone else…like, a parent or something…my mom would love to have someone else come to her for advice. Sammy and I stopped doing that a while ago.”

“Thanks,” Castiel said, his slight smile present in his tone. “I just might take you up on that.” He sighed into the receiver, then continued, “I’ll tell my parents tonight though…they’re leaving for another trip two days from now.”

“Again?” Dean asked. “They just got back.”

“I know,” Cas said. “That never seems to stop them. No idea how long they’ll be gone this time, but that isn’t entirely unusual.”

Dean wanted to say something, but he didn’t know what. What were you supposed to say to your potential boyfriend when he was trying to hide the fact that he was at least a little upset his parents were deserting him yet again?

“You don’t have to say anything,” Castiel said, as if reading Dean’s mind. “This phone call is about you, and how you’re holding up right now. That’s what I care about.”

“You’re too good for me,” Dean murmured, running his hand down his face. “Is there any chance in hell I could spend the night at your place tomorrow?”

“Um, yeah,” Castiel said, taken aback by the question. “Yeah, sure.”

“Not in a sexual way or anything,” Dean said, trying to cover up any worries he was pretty sure were crossing Castiel’s mind. “Just…I don’t know how I can stay here with my parents screaming at each other. I could crash on the couch, no problem.”

“Wouldn’t your dad freak out if he knew where you were staying?” Cas asked.

“Yeah, but he doesn’t have to know,” Dean said. “And my mom would help cover for us.”

“Wouldn’t your mom not wanting you staying with the guy you have a thing with?” Cas asked, wanting to make sure. “I’m not gonna sneak around now that we can finally be out in the open.”

“No, I swear. No more sneaking around,” Dean said. “My mom trusts me. I’ll ask her, but I think she’ll say yes.”

“Then let me know, and you can come over,” Castiel said.

“I will,” Dean nodded. He flinched when he heard his dad scream something at his mom from the other room. “Guess my parents have officially started the screaming match.”

Cas sighed into the receiver. “You’ll be okay, Dean,” he said. “I know it’ll be hard, but everything will work out in the end. Whether it’s a month from now living with your mom and Sam, or a few years from now when you’re at college living your own life…one way or another, you’ll be okay.”

Dean sighed and let his eyes blur with tears. “That’s kind of exactly what I needed to hear,” he murmured, hoping Cas could hear him. “Thanks, Cas…I don’t know how I’d get through this without you, honestly.”

It was strange to think about it, but it was true. Just a few months ago, Dean would have thought that Sam was the only one who’d try to get him through this. Now he had Castiel, and it didn’t feel like when he had first met Uriel and thought they were friends. It was a genuine feeling of safety and comfort, and it was everything Dean could ever hope for.

“Don’t give me too much credit,” Castiel said, a slight playful tone in his voice. “But I’m happy I can be here for you. I’m glad you called me, and seriously feel free to call me any time with anything. Even at three in the morning, I’ll be there. Tired, but I’ll be there.”

Dean smirked as a tear escaped his eye and looked up. “Thanks, Cas,” he said. “I, uh…I should go. But thanks for letting me get that off my chest. It feels good to tell someone.”

“Any time,” Cas said genuinely. “Thanks for telling me. I’ll let you know how it goes with my parents too.”

“Great,” Dean said. “Bye, Cas.”

“Bye Dean. Good luck,” Castiel said.

Dean smiled softly and hung up the phone. He tossed it from hand to hand and sat there for the better part of an hour, trying to keep his mind off the constant fighting he could hear.

Eventually, there was a knock on Dean’s door.

“Honey? It’s mom,” Mary said through the wood. “Can I come in?”

“Yeah,” Dean said, moving over slightly on his bed when he heard her open the door. He gave her a small smile. “What happened with dad?”

“I think we’ve come to an understanding,” Mary said with a sigh. Her eyes were red, but Dean made no comment on that. “John thinks it would be best if we moved out.”  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all liked it :D Not a huge cliff hanger since I figured I owed you guys one haha. 
> 
> Please leave comments, kudos, and all that fun stuff :) See you again next week! <3
> 
> castielfuckingnovak.tumblr.com


	14. And Now It's a Date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 14 right after the season 10 premier to heal our souls a little bit xD
> 
> Hope you enjoy! Thank you all so much for your love and support. It means everything to me <3

Dean didn’t know what to say at first. He wasn’t exactly surprised that John came to that decision, but now it was all starting to feel too real.

This wasn’t just something he could take back or get out of. He was going to leave this house with his mom and brother and more than likely never talk to his dad again. Whether he liked John or not, the fact that he’d never speak to him again the second he walked out the door for the last time was a huge deal.

“Why do we have to leave?” Dean asked.

He didn’t know why he asked that. He supposed it seemed like a decent thing to wonder, and he didn’t want to get into all the deeper issues he was freaking out over. That could wait for after most of this nightmare was done and out of the way.

“Why doesn’t _he_ leave?” Dean continued, trying not to let his anger get the best of him. “It’s you, me, and Sam against him. Why doesn’t _he_ have to leave and find somewhere else to stay? _He’s_ the narrow-minded asshole who doesn’t want to be around me; it should be his decision to get out and not have to deal with me anymore.”

Mary sighed and looked at Dean sympathetically.

“He doesn’t want to ‘not deal with you anymore,’” Mary said softly.

“Mom, you can do a lot of things to comfort me, but don’t lie,” Dean replied, his voice dropping to a quiet plead. “You don’t have to try to tell me that he still loves me or anything to make me feel better, cuz that’s not gonna happen. I’m never gonna feel better about this.”

Mary just nodded for a moment. “We’ll have a better life away from him,” she tried to help.

“I know we will. That’s not what I feel bad about,” Dean said, rubbing his hands together absentmindedly. “I’m never gonna feel better about the fact that we don’t mean anything to him. Yeah, he’s a jerk. And I don’t care if he doesn’t like me…but the fact that he’s okay with putting you and Sam out with me? That’s something I can never forgive him for.”

Mary nodded and looked at the floor. “Your father isn’t the man I thought he was when I first married him,” she said. “And I’m so sorry...I can’t help but feel like this is partially my fault.”

“Mom…” Dean trailed off, looking at her with sadness in his eyes. “This isn’t your fault. How could you even think that?”

“Because I married him in the first place,” Mary said forlornly. “Because I didn’t get away from him sooner…I don’t know. It’s easy to blame yourself for things like this.”

Dean supposed he could understand that. He’d probably feel the same way if it were him. Guilt was something that he’d been piling onto himself his entire life for things that were never his fault in the first place.

“Well…I don’t blame you for anything,” Dean said, knowing that she needed some reassurance right now. It’s what he would want. “Just know that.”

“Thanks, Dean,” Mary said, patting his knee. “I don’t blame you either.”

Dean scoffed and shook his head. “I don’t blame myself,” he said with a little too much conviction to make it sound believable.

“You always find a way to,” Mary said, obviously trying to fight back tears. “And I really want you to know that if you take anything away from this, know that this was not your fault. And our family isn’t broken, okay? It’ll be you, me, and Sam…the way it’s supposed to be.”

Dean nodded, feeling his chest clench with his mother’s words. She was right; he was already starting to feel the guilt creep in for making his family go their separate ways.

“Alright,” Dean said, not sure what else he could say at this point. “Can I be left alone for a little bit?”

“Sure,” Mary said, standing up and walking to the door. Once she opened the door, she stopped and turned around. “I’m gonna go talk to Sam…tell him everything. Tonight I’ll start looking for apartments we can move into.”

“Tonight?” Dean asked, not even realizing that he hadn’t asked how soon they needed to leave.

“Yeah…he didn’t say we had to be out by a certain day, but,” Mary shrugged. “I think it’d be best for all of us to get out as soon as possible. Maybe next week if you both aren’t  too busy at school.”

“Kay,” Dean said. “Thanks, mom. Tell Sammy to come in here when you’re done talking to him.”

“I will,” Mary said, giving Dean her best attempt at a smile before closing the door.

There were a million emotions whirling through Dean’s mind, and he wasn’t sure which one to pay attention to first.

He laid back down on his bed and closed his eyes, needing to just rest in silence for a bit. No music, no yelling in the background, just silence.

It only took a minute to prove that the silence was too loud. It let him think, and he couldn’t have that. Not yet, anyway.

Dean stood up and went over to his CD collection, putting an AC/DC album in his player and lying back down on his bed. He didn’t have the volume loud enough to piss off his dad even more, but it was loud enough to drown out all the thoughts clawing at the back of his mind.

He propped a leg up and started tapping his foot against his mattress, focusing on the rhythm as much as he could.

About a half hour later, Dean felt his phone vibrate on the bed next to him. He sat up and reached over, opening the new text.

**I told my parents about us. –CN**

That was quick. Dean’s eyes widened slightly in surprise.

**Damn. When you say you’ll tell them tonight, you mean business. –DW**

Dean couldn’t help but wonder what exactly Cas had told his parents about them. He didn’t have the struggle of coming out all over again to them, so what exactly had he said about Dean? That there was a guy he was interested in? Would he go as far to say they were dating, or even in a relationship?

Dean didn’t know the answer to any of those questions himself, but he figured it would be better to let Cas tell him what he wanted them to be.

**How did they take it? –DW**

**Pretty much how I thought they would. They said “good for you” then went back to working on the files they were sorting. –CN**

Well damn. It must suck to have parents that couldn’t give less of a fuck about you. Dean wished maybe John could take a page and not care as much as he did about everything, but both sides had their drawbacks. He was just lucky that he had his mom to support him, when Cas could never count on either of his parents.

**I’m sorry. –DW**

There wasn’t anything else he knew to say. Every encouragement he had Cas had probably heard a million times before, and something told him right now Cas just wanted to talk to him. No sadness, no advice, none of that. Just the simplicity of knowing someone was there for him to go to.

**It’s okay. –CN**

**What did you tell them? Exactly? –DW**

Dean didn’t want to press, but he couldn’t help wondering what his parents thought they were to each other.

**Is that your way of making sure I didn’t tell them we were fucking or something? –CN**

Dean smirked at the screen and rolled his eyes affectionately.

**Such language. –DW**

**I know, I guess I’m feeling rebellious today. But no, I told them there was a guy I was interested in who I might eventually date if everything works out. –CN**

**If everything works out? –DW**

**If you get to know me and aren’t scared off by my anti-social tendencies, that kind of thing. –CN**

Dean huffed out a small laugh as he typed out his reply.

**I already know you, Cas. And there’s no chance in hell you could ever scare me off. –DW**

**Unless you killed someone…or tried to kill me. Then we might have some issues to work out. –DW**

**That’s understandable haha. –CN**

**Good. I’ve gotta go, I want to talk to Sam about everything that’s happening, make sure he’s okay. Are we still on for that date tomorrow? –DW**

**Yeah, absolutely. What time? –CN**

**How about I pick you up at seven? –DW**

**Perfect, see you then. Goodnight, Dean. –CN**

**Night, Cas. –DW**

Dean sat up and ran his fingers through his hair. He stood up and walked to the door, ready to go talk to Sam if he was still in the living room with their mom. When he opened the door, he saw that Sam was already on the other side, about to knock.

“Jesus,” Dean said in shock.

“Nice to see you too,” Sam chuckled. “Can I come in?”

“Yeah,” Dean said, stepping aside to let him in. “You’re too quiet. One of these days you’re gonna give me a heart attack.”

“Sorry,” Sam said in amusement. He walked in and sat down on the edge of the bed. “Mom said you wanted to talk to me?”

“Yeah, just…you know, to make sure you’re okay,” Dean said. “I know you put up a front; I’m like that too. But it’s okay if you need to talk to me about it.”

“I guess I could get a few things off my chest,” Sam said as Dean joined him in sitting down.

The next few hours were filled with more emotional conversations than Dean had ever had in his life. He and Sam completely unloaded on each other all the things that had been weighing them down.

That night, Dean slept better than he had in a long time.

 

 

The following morning, Castiel woke up to the sound of the garage door opening. He closed his eyes again and rubbed his forehead.

_Okay. That means they’re gone…all I have to deal with today is Dean. He’ll take me somewhere, spend the night here, and then go home tomorrow. That’s all I have to worry about._

Even though Cas wasn’t too anxious about spending time with Dean, it took a lot of effort for him to spend time with anyone. Then again, that came with the territory of being an introvert. Maybe he could even convince Dean to just stay inside with him and order in Chinese food instead of going somewhere.

He slowly got out of bed and walked downstairs, yawning as he entered the kitchen. Gabe was sitting at the table, and he looked up when he heard Castiel come in.

“You hear mom and dad leave?” Gabe asked, taking a bite of the toast in front of him.

“Yeah, that’s what woke me,” Castiel said with a yawn.

“Sorry. They still don’t know how long they’ll be gone, but…what’s new there?” Gabe said, his voice tired.

“I’m going out with Dean tonight,” Cas said, eager to change the subject. “And he’s staying over.”

Gabe raised an eyebrow at him and leaned over the table slightly. “Dean Winchester?” he asked.

“Yeah…trust me, he’s a good guy,” Castiel said.

Gabe looked Cas up and down and shrugged. “I trust you,” he said with a small nod. “Just…didn’t peg him for the dating type. Or the gay type, for that matter.”

“Me neither; not at first, anyway,” Castiel said.

“Does that mean you’ve got some history with the guy?” Gabe asked. He paused for a moment, then a look of recognition flashed across his face. “Oh my god…all that time you spent getting coffee and going to the bookstore? Were you with him?”

Cas rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly and nodded. “Yeah. Dean and I agreed we didn’t want to tell anyone about whatever was going on between us,” he said.

“Why not?” Gabe asked, narrowing his eyes in confusion.

“Because he didn’t want anyone to know he was gay. Plus it’s not like anyone would really want to be seen with me to begin with,” Cas said, realizing that sounded a lot less depressing in his head.

“Cas,” Gabe said with a slight glare. “That’s not okay.”

“I know,” Cas sighed, realizing this must be what it was like to have a parent try to defend you. “I know it’s not okay…but something convinced me it was. It wasn’t like he was this selfish asshole that wanted to hide me away. He was seriously scared that if anyone found out his dad would freak and he’d never be able to live a normal life. And I get that.”

“Still selfish as far as I can see,” Gabe shrugged. “But I’m guessing something went wrong if you’re telling me all this. He finally decide to stop trying?”

“Not really. Uriel caught us kissing,” Castiel confessed. It felt nice being able to tell him after all this time.

“You’re already kissing?” Gabe asked. “Damn…that’s impressive.”

“Not the point, Gabe,” Cas said. “It really shook Dean up. No one was supposed to see, and Uriel threatened him. The only way to make it feel like Uriel didn’t have as much power as he did was if Dean was willing to be open. And I’m lucky he was.”

“Hey. Don’t give him too much credit,” Gabe warned. “But I’m glad you guys are…dating?”

“Not quite,” Cas said, trying not to sound dejected. “But we could be soon. I feel good about it, anyway.”

“Well if he’s got half a brain in that head of his, you’ll be boyfriends before you know it,” Gabe said supportively.

“Thanks,” Cas said with a small smile. “I hope so. He’s pretty closed off, but I think I’ve broken down enough of his walls that we could be something more than friends.”

“I hope so. Like I said, you deserve someone special,” Gabe said, watching as Cas sat down at the table. “And if that’s Dean, then great. As long as you’re happy. But the second you guys are official, I’m gonna give him the brother speech; there’s nothing you can do about that.”

“That sounds fair enough,” Cas chuckled, stealing Gabe’s toast to take a bite.

“What are you kids up to tonight?” Gabe asked. “Out on the town? A movie? Bowling?”

Cas shrugged. “No idea…we didn’t exactly talk about it,” he said slowly, attempting to remember if they’d made solid plans yet or not. “I guess he must have an idea.”

“Alright, let me know,” Gabe said, definitely assuming the role of responsible parent at this point. “Any reason he’s staying the night?”

“Yeah, but…I don’t know if I can tell anyone,” Cas said. “I wouldn’t want people to know if it were me.”

Gabe nodded and drummed the table with his hands. “I can deal with that,” he said. “Just be sure he wears a condom.”

“Gabe,” Cas warned, only half-teasing.

“And make sure I don’t hear it either,” Gabe said, standing up. “I’m gonna go get ready. Some friends and I are going out today, but keep me posted on you and Dean.”

“Will do,” Cas saluted him as he walked away.

 

 

It seemed like it took forever for Dean to roll around, even though he was right on time.

Cas couldn’t help but feel nervous for this. It was their first official date, and even though they already knew each other pretty well it was still nerve-wracking.

He took a deep breath as he tried to calm down, not really paying attention to the show that was on in the background.

Soon enough, Dean rang the doorbell. It made Cas jump a little, but he quickly stood up and walked to the door. He opened it and smiled when he saw Dean on the other side, holding a bouquet of roses.

“Oh my god…Dean, you didn’t have to,” Cas said, touched by the idea that Dean had been so thoughtful.

“I know, but I wanted to,” Dean said, a grin spreading over his face as he held out the flowers a little more for Cas to take.

“Well thank you,” Cas said, taking the flowers from Dean’s hands and stepping aside. “You can come in while I put these in water if you want.”

“Thanks,” Dean said, walking inside and looking around. “Nice place.”

“Thanks,” Castiel laughed. “You seem like you’re in a better mood.”

“I’m with you; of course I’m in a better mood,” Dean replied easily. “Besides, there’s no way in hell I’m letting myself feel bad when we’re supposed to be having a good time on a date.”

Cas blushed slightly as he filled a vase with water and put the flowers in.

“Roses are my favorite, you know. As cliché as that is,” Cas said, putting the vase on the table and walking back over to Dean.

“Well of course I knew that,” Dean joked like it was obvious. “Can’t go wrong with a classic.”

“True,” Cas agreed, looking around the room before landing his gaze back on Dean. “So what are we doing tonight? You never really said.”

“I had a few ideas,” Dean said. “We could go out and see a movie, have dinner together…we could go on a walk…or maybe just stay in and have a fire. I have a picnic in the trunk no matter what.”

“You brought a picnic?” Castiel asked, smiling. “Didn’t take you for that much of a romantic.”

“This is my first date with a guy I really care about; of course I brought a picnic,” Dean said. “But whatever you wanna do, we’ll do it.”

“Hm,” Cas said as he thought about it. “Let’s get the picnic basket and bring it in here. We can eat in front of the fire, make some hot chocolate…maybe watch a movie too.”

“That sounds like a perfect night,” Dean said, wrapping his arms around Castiel’s waist.

Cas smiled back and rested his arms around Dean’s neck. He let Dean lean in and kiss him, smiling slightly against his lips.

“I’ve been looking forward to doing that again,” Dean said when they pulled away. He stepped back a bit and grabbed Castiel’s hand, taking him towards the door. “Let’s go get that basket for our night in then.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cute things are about to happen haha. 
> 
> Thanks for reading! Comments, kudos, etc. are always amazing :) See you all next week, lovelies!
> 
> castielfuckingnovak.tumblr.com


	15. Working Everything Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter's all ready for you guys! :) Hope you enjoy <3
> 
> Thanks so much for all your support. It's the greatest thing in the world, and means so much to me.

When Dean and Cas walked back inside, Cas led them to the living room. “Here. I’ll turn on the fire,” he said, reluctantly dropping Dean’s hand.

He walked over to the side of the fireplace and turned it on, watching as Dean took out the blanket and spread it out on the floor.

“You really thought about this, huh?” Castiel asked, taking a few steps closer. “I didn’t think you’d want to go all out for something like a picnic.”

“Well you’d be wrong,” Dean said playfully, smoothing out the blanket before sitting on it. He patted the space next to him and opened the basket. “And of course I’ve thought about it. You seemed like the type who’d appreciate a classic picnic.”

“I am,” Cas said, sitting down in the space next to Dean. His eyes widened slightly when he took out some sandwiches and a bottle of wine. “You didn’t have to do all this.”

“I know,” Dean said, handing Cas one of the sandwiches with a proud smile. “I wasn’t sure if you drank, but I thought it’d be nice to at least bring something in case.”

“I don’t really drink,” Cas said. “But a glass couldn’t hurt. Especially after you went through so much trouble to do this for us.”

Dean smiled at him and unwrapped his sandwich, taking a bite. “Where are your glasses? That’s the one thing I didn’t bring. Didn’t want them breaking,” he said.

“In the kitchen; I can go get them,” Cas said, standing up.

When he returned with the glasses, Dean had already opened the bottle. “Hey gorgeous,” he greeted.

Cas blushed and rolled his eyes, trying to push down the surge of warmth the compliment sent through him. He sat down next to Dean and put the glasses in front of them.

“So what inspired this whole ordeal?” Castiel asked, eyeing the wine bottle as Dean poured it for them. “Seen too many classic romance movies?”

“Not exactly,” Dean said, picking up his glass. Cas followed suit and clanged their glasses together before taking a sip. “If you want me to tell the truth, I came up with a few ideas and then asked my mom which sounded best. She said you can’t go wrong with something like this.”

“She’s not wrong,” Cas said, unwrapping his sandwich and taking a bite. He honestly found it adorable that Dean cared enough about his mom’s opinion to ask about a date he was going on. “But you should keep that list, because we’ll go on every date you’ve got an idea for.”

Dean raised an eyebrow at him playfully. “So does that mean you’ll go out with me again already?” he asked.

“I think you know that you’ve had me for a while now,” Cas said, brushing his hand over Dean’s.

“I thought I might have had you,” Dean conceded. “But now I know.”

 

 

It wasn’t until later that night when Cas got a text message from Gabe. He felt his phone vibrate in his pocket and reluctantly took it out.

“Sorry,” he said with an apologetic glance towards Dean. “It could be my brother.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Dean said, kissing Castiel’s hair and pausing the movie they were watching.

**Don’t think I’ll be home for a while. My friends wanna go to some party on the other side of town. You and Dean gonna be okay? –GN**

**Yeah, we’ll be fine. Lucifer’s gonna be home though, isn’t he? –CN**

**No, he’s spending the night on campus with some friends. Don’t do anything too crazy, alright? –GN**

**We won’t. I’ll see you later then. –CN**

**See you later, Cassie. –GN**

Castiel put his phone away and cuddled back into Dean’s side.

“Was it your brother?” Dean asked, stroking his fingers along Castiel’s arm absentmindedly.

“Yeah. He won’t be back until late, and my other brother’s spending the night with his friends,” Cas said. “Hope that’s okay.”

“Are you seriously asking me if it’s okay that I have even more time alone with the guy I’m crazy about?” Dean chuckled.

“Okay, fair enough,” Cas said, taking some of Dean’s shirt in his hand and playing with it. He could practically feel Dean smiling down at him.

“Can I ask you something?” Dean said, his voice dropping to a level that Cas might even consider self-conscious.

“Sure, what is it?” Castiel asked, looking up at Dean fondly.

Dean took a deep breath and bit his lower lip in thought. “Well…I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately,” he said. “And I’ve never met someone as amazing as you. You’re everything I’ve been too afraid to let myself want, Cas. And now that we’ve got each other, I don’t want to lose you.”

“You wouldn’t lose me, Dean,” Cas assured him, narrowing his eyes slightly in confusion.

“I know that, but…I guess I’m saying I’d get jealous if you ever got interested in some other guy cuz I was too scared to ask you this,” Dean said. He looked Cas in the eyes and took his hand that was in his shirt, intertwining their fingers. “So…would you want to make things official between us?”

“Like…how official?” Cas asked, almost unable to believe this was happening.

“Do you wanna be my boyfriend?” Dean asked, hoping the words didn’t come out as rushed as they sounded to him. “I mean, I know it’s kind of sudden and everything, but I really like you and I’ve never been able to see myself with anyone other than you. Other than Sam and my mom, you’re the best thing I have in my life.”

Castiel beamed and nodded, squeezing Dean’s hand slightly. “I’d love to be your boyfriend,” he said, kissing him chastely.

Dean’s eyes widened as Cas pulled away, and Cas laughed as soon as he saw it. “Why do you look so surprised?” he asked.

“I-…I guess I just never thought something like this could happen to me,” Dean said. “A happy, open relationship with a guy…if you’d told me this was gonna happen a year ago, I wouldn’t have believed a word of it.”

“Well here you are,” Cas said softly. “I wouldn’t have believed it either though. It’s kind of crazy how out of all the people we could’ve talked to on that website, we ended up talking to each other.”

“Yeah, it is,” Dean agreed. “You ever go on it again? Talk to anyone else?”

“No, I haven’t. That was my first time on it, actually; talking to you,” Cas said. “After that I guess I just didn’t really wanna talk to anyone else.”

“Why did you go on it at all?” Dean asked.

“Charlie told me I needed to get out there and make friends. I was only gonna do it that one night, and the only reason I went on after that was because I was hoping you’d talk to me. Then you messaged me and…I kept coming back.”

“Seriously?” Dean laughed. “You hoped I’d talk to you? I was terrified on the other side of that monitor. It took a lot of convincing for me to send that message the next day.”

“Well I don’t blame you. I _am_ pretty intimidating,” Cas joked.

“You are,” Dean agreed teasingly. “I had no idea who you were. It was more than a little terrifying thinking some stranger knew I was gay and was waiting for me to talk to them again. Actually, I wasn’t even sure you really wanted to talk to me again. I was just hoping you’d reply and I wouldn’t seem like a total idiot.”

“You made my day when you sent that message,” Castiel said, the corners of his mouth turning up in a smile. “And if you hadn’t done that, we’d still be miserable and avoiding each other.”

“I don’t even wanna think about that,” Dean shook his head.

Just after Dean spoke, Castiel heard Dean’s phone vibrate. Dean groaned and rested their foreheads together.

“That could be Sam. Or your mom,” Castiel murmured.

“I don’t have to get it,” Dean whispered, stroking Cas’s arm again.

“It could be important,” Castiel replied softly. “Just…you can check.”

Dean groaned, kissing Cas again before pulling away and taking his phone out of his pocket. “I like that you care so much,” he said, opening up the text from Sam.

**This just happened. –SW (image attached)**

Dean frowned and clicked on the image, not sure what to expect.

It was a photo of the front of their house, which had been egged. On their garage door, the words ‘watch your back, fag’ had been spray painted in large black letters.

Dean just stared at the screen for a few seconds, not blinking.

“What is it? Is something wrong?” Castiel asked, noticing the look on Dean’s face.

Dean wordlessly showed the picture to Cas, not sure what he’d even say. Cas’ eyes widened in shock and he covered his mouth with his hand.

“Dean…” Cas trailed off as Dean tilted the phone back towards himself. “I’m so sorry.”

“Fucking assholes,” Dean growled, throwing his phone to the side. He could only imagine how his dad was going to react when he saw it. He was in enough trouble as it was, but now he was gonna have his ass handed to him.

Cas gave him a worried glance. “I wish I knew what to say right now,” he whispered.

“Don’t,” Dean said, waving his hand to show it was nothing. “It’s not your fault, Cas. Don’t feel bad.”

Dean picked up his phone and replied to Sam.

**Shit. You need me home to clean up? –DW**

**No, mom and I are on it. It shouldn’t take too long; we’re just trying to make sure it’s gone before dad sees it when he gets home from the bar. –SW**

**Never thought his drinking would ever come in handy. Thanks Sam. Tell mom I said so too. -DW**

**Will do. Don’t even think about it, okay? I just thought you should know. Have fun with Cas. –SW**

Dean sighed and put his phone away again.

“I can’t believe they’d do something like that,” Cas said, at a loss.

“I can,” Dean said with a slight laugh, despite everything. “They always wanna try to pull shit like this, but I’m the one who talks them out of it. Guess that’s not stopping them anymore.”

“You should call the cops,” Castiel said, hesitation in his voice.

“Why would I do that?” Dean asked. “Uriel and everyone else aren’t gonna admit they did it, and we don’t have any proof. All that would do is make whatever they’re planning even worse. If you think they’re dangerous now, imagine how horrible they’ll be after the police talk to them.”

“I’m sorry,” Cas said, lowering his head and focusing on his hands as he pulled at his sleeves.

“No, Cas,” Dean said, his voice softening when he realized that could’ve sounded a little worse than he meant. “It’s not a bad idea, just…it’s not something we should do. But I love that you care so much.”

Dean reached down and pulled Castiel’s hand out of his sleeve, holding it carefully.

Cas looked back up at him and gave a slight smile.

“Hey, like I said. We’re not gonna let anything ruin tonight,” Dean reminded him. “This sucks, but we’ll deal with it.” He paused and thought to himself for a moment. “But if Uriel or anyone does anything like that to you, tell me.”

“I will,” Cas nodded. “We’re in this together.”

“Yeah, we are,” Dean said, kissing him. “That’s enough depressing talk for the night. Back to the movie.” He grabbed the remote and pressed play, pulling Cas impossibly closer into his side.

 

 

 

When the movie was over, Dean looked down at Cas and smiled fondly. He’d fallen asleep at some point, but Dean didn’t have the heart to wake him. He turned his head and kissed Castiel’s messy dark hair, trailing his fingers along his arm.

“I’m gonna fall for you,” Dean whispered, only because he knew Cas wouldn’t hear it. “I can tell.”

After several minutes of sitting with Cas and watching him sleep peacefully, Dean gently shook his shoulder.

“Cas,” Dean called softly, brushing his boyfriend’s hair out of his face. “Baby, wake up.”

He couldn’t even try to ignore the rush of affection he felt at using that pet name. He’d hoped he could be like this with Cas practically since they met, and now he was lucky enough to really be here.

Cas hummed, barely audibly, as he opened his eyes.

“Hey there sleepy head,” Dean laughed.

Cas groaned and turned so his face was buried in Dean’s shirt. “Nnn…what time is it?” he muttered.

Dean looked over at the clock under the television and answered, “Just before midnight.”

Cas reluctantly pulled away from Dean’s shirt and rubbed his eyes. “Sorry…guess I fell asleep,” he said.

“It’s fine,” Dean assured him. “It’s pretty late. You want me to take you upstairs?”

“Sure,” Cas said, taking Dean’s hand in his own but making no move to stand on his own.

Dean smirked and stood up, pulling Castiel with him. “What’s got you so exhausted? Was I that boring?” he joked.

“I wish this night could go on forever,” Castiel said with a yawn as they walked upstairs. “Sorry I’m such a loser that I have to sleep.”

“You’re not a loser. It’s cute,” Dean said as they reached the top of the stairs. “Which is your room?”

“Over here,” Cas said, now leading the way. He opened the door to his room and took Dean inside, closing the door behind them. “You’re staying in my bed.”

“I don’t have to, Cas,” Dean said, silently hoping that Cas would tell him it was fine to stay.

“I know, but I want you to,” Cas said with a slight smile, kissing Dean on the cheek.

“You know I can’t turn you down,” Dean said playfully.

Cas walked over to his closet and took out a t-shirt to sleep in. He took his shirt off and slipped the other one on, and Dean tried not to stare too long.

Dean took his pants off, but kept the shirt he was wearing on. He hadn’t brought another, and didn’t want to sleep without one if Cas wasn’t.

Cas turned around after taking his pants off and smiled at Dean.

“Glad I didn’t wear my Batman underwear today,” Dean only half-joked.

“You should’ve,” Cas smirked. “That would’ve been great.”

“Seriously?” Dean asked with a small laugh.

“Yeah, I love Batman,” Cas said, walking over to his bed. He pulled the covers and sheets down, getting underneath them and scooting over. “Get over here.”

Dean smirked and got under the covers next to Castiel, pulling the blankets over them. He laid down and adjusted himself so he was right next to Cas.

Dean kissed him slowly, smiling when he pulled away.

“Turn around,” Dean murmured.

Cas smiled at him and did as he was told.

Dean wrapped his arms around Castiel’s waist and pulled him close, nuzzling into his hair. He smirked and moved around a little so their bodies were completely pressed together.

“You smell good,” Dean hummed, starting to feel more tired with every passing minute.

“Mm, thanks,” Cas murmured back. “You’re warm.”

Dean smiled to himself and closed his eyes. He’d never spent the night with anyone before. Even when he was with Lisa, he always made sure to split before she could ask him to spend the night.

Now, though…this was so much different than he imagined. Maybe his life wasn’t exactly what he wanted it to be, but at least with Cas everything was right with the world.

Dean fell asleep soon after that, easily drifting off with the feeling of Cas in his arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! See you all again next week :D 
> 
> Comments, kudos, etc. would be awesome, and I love you all!
> 
> castielfuckingnovak.tumblr.com


	16. Facing Reality

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 16 here we go :) Thanks for all the support, everyone!

Dean couldn’t remember the last time he’d woken up so happy.

Sunlight was streaming in through the blinds, making random stripes of Castiel’s hair glow brown. Dean nuzzled his face into Castiel’s hair a little more, and closed his eyes again. There was no way in hell he was gonna wake up when he could have until Cas woke up to worry about the rest of the day.

He laid there and eventually moved his hand to stroke Castiel’s arm, barely touching his fingers to his skin. Dean opened his eyes and looked at the back of Castiel’s head almost reverently, cherishing that he could feel so safe and at home with someone.

After what felt like about twenty minutes, Dean felt Cas start to move in his arms. At first, he thought it was just a sleeping motion, but then he heard his boyfriend let out a barely audible groan.

“Hey baby,” Dean murmured lovingly.

“Go back to sleep,” Cas muttered, pulling the blanket up farther around them.

Dean chuckled and nuzzled his face into the back of Cas’s neck. “Not a morning person, are you?” he asked quietly, his lips moving against Castiel’s skin.

“No,” Cas grumbled, tangling their legs together.

“You’re cold,” Dean commented, reaching for one of Cas’s hands and intertwining their fingers. He brought them up to his mouth and blew on them, hoping to make his icy fingers a little warmer.

“Thank you,” Cas said, his voice sounding a little softer this time.

“You’re welcome,” Dean replied, kissing the back of his neck. “You wanna go downstairs? Get some breakfast?”

“Not yet,” Cas said, turning over in Dean’s arms so they were facing each other. He kissed him softly and tightened his grip on Dean’s hand. “How long have you been up?”

“Half hour?” Dean guessed. “No worries though. You’re cute when you sleep.”

“You couldn’t even see my face, smart ass,” Castiel murmured playfully.

“I could just tell,” Dean said with a grin. “I’ve never really woken up with someone before…it’s nice.”

“Yeah, it is,” Cas agreed, looking Dean’s face over carefully.

“What? Is there something wrong with my face?” Dean asked, only half-kidding. No one had ever looked at him like that before.

“I just really like your eyes,” Cas said, adjusting himself against Dean so he was even more comfortable.

Dean was taken aback by the compliment, but he grinned anyway. “Thanks,” he said with a slight laugh. “I like yours too. I get distracted by them a lot, actually…hard not to.”

“Thank you,” Castiel said with a lazy smile. “You know…now that I know what it’s like to wake up with you, I don’t know how long I’ll be able to go before we do this again.”

Dean grinned and nuzzled their noses together. “I’ll take that as a good thing,” he said.

 

 

About an hour later, Dean sighed and ran his hand gently over Castiel’s face.

“Would you kill me if I asked if we could go downstairs and eat? I’m starving,” Dean laughed.

“I was hoping you’d say that soon,” Castiel said, kissing him briefly. “You’ll probably have to deal with my brother though.”

“That’s fine,” Dean said. “I get the whole ‘big brother’ thing. I kind of am one.”

Cas shrugged. “Fair enough,” he said as he rolled out of bed. “Come on, we can make pancakes or something.”

“Well if it’s pancakes, I can’t turn it down,” Dean joked. He sat up slowly and scooted off the bed, stretching once he stood up. “I should probably put on some underwear…you know, don’t wanna get off on the wrong foot with your brother right off the bat.”

“Good idea,” Cas nodded. He walked over to his night stand and pulled out a pair of sweats, putting them on. “You want some sweats?”

“Yeah, sure,” Dean smiled. He caught the pair that Cas tossed to him and put them on.

 

 

When Cas and Dean walked downstairs, Gabe was sitting at the kitchen table eating ice cream.

“Nice breakfast, Gabe,” Cas said with a smirk.

“Hey, I’m hungover. Cut me a break,” Gabe said, pointing the spoon at Cas accusingly. “Besides, when have you not known me to have something like this for breakfast on a weekend?”

“Fair point,” Cas said with a slight nod of his head. “Oh, Gabe. This is Dean. Dean, Gabe.”

Dean waved at Gabe somewhat awkwardly and took a step closer to him. “Nice to meet you, Gabe,” he said.

“Nice to meet you too, Dean,” Gabe said, looking him over carefully. “So, you and Cassie…how serious is it?”

“As of last night we’re boyfriends, actually,” Dean said, unable to keep the sense of pride out of his voice.

“Mmhm,” Gabe hummed, looking back and forth between the two of them.

When Dean glanced over at Cas, he saw that the other boy was smiling as well. Hopefully Gabe would be more encouraging than anything else.

“Congratulations then,” Gabe said, taking another bite of his ice cream. “But let me just say this. I know your type, Dean. It might not be who you are now, but I know guys like how you used to be at least. The ones that hook up with every girl around and then claim that someone’s different…and that’s rarely ever the case.”

Dean nodded, not wanting to argue yet. He knew that was a fair enough assumption, and he’d be worried as hell if someone like him wanted to go out with Sam, regardless of whether it was a guy or a girl.

“That said,” Gabe continued. “I trust Cas’s judgment. And if he thinks you’re a good guy, then you probably are. Just know that if you ever even _think_ about hurting him, I’ll kill you.”

Dean swallowed and nodded. “Absolutely,” he said. “I would never hurt him, I promise.”

“Good,” Gabe said. “Then I’m okay with you. As long as you’re loyal to him, protect him, and love him, that’s all I want.”

“Don’t use that word yet, Gabe,” Cas said hurriedly, flashing Dean an apologetic glance.

“No, it’s fine. I get what he means,” Dean assured him. He didn’t bother mentioning that he was already headed towards loving Cas more than he ever thought possible.

“See, Cas? He’s already smarter than you said he was,” Gabe joked with a laugh. “You guys go ahead and make some breakfast. Pretend I’m not here.”

“Fine,” Cas said, turning around and getting the ingredients for pancakes out of the cabinet. “I’m sorry about him, Dean.”

Dean walked over to Cas and kissed him on the cheek, getting the milk out of the fridge for them. “No need to say you’re sorry,” he replied. “Like I said, the big brother thing is my forte. He seems cool too.”

“I’m very cool,” Gabe piped up, earning him a roll of the eyes from Cas.

Cas refused to let Dean help him cook, which resulted in Dean wrapping his arms around Castiel’s waist and resting his head on his shoulder all the while.

“I like watching you cook,” Dean commented as they sat down to eat, Gabe having left a few minutes ago.

“Thanks,” Cas said, blushing slightly. “Let’s hope it tastes good then.”

Dean took a bite of the food and once he swallowed, paused dramatically for a few seconds. “Cas…these are amazing,” he said, his eyes brightening as he spoke. “I seriously think you just made the best pancakes I’ve ever had in my life.”

“Thank god, that would’ve been embarrassing,” Castiel said with something that sounded like half a laugh and half a sigh.

Dean smiled and the conversation flowed between them as he tried not to dread going home. Today he was probably going to have to help move all their stuff out, so hopefully his mom had found somewhere for them to go.

For now though, he could let himself get distracted the way Castiel laughed at his jokes and smiled fondly at him, judging their feet together every now and then under the table.

 

 

On Monday, Dean was exhausted from packing up his room, along with a fair share of his brother’s and mom’s things. They had only half-moved into their new small apartment about ten minutes away from where they used to live. The bonus was that it was closer to Castiel’s house than his old one, but he wished this whole thing could’ve been avoided.

Dean drove himself and Sam to school on Monday, pulling into a spot in the parking lot.

“You alright?” Sam asked. “You don’t have to go to school today if you’re worried, you know. Mom would get it.”

Dean nodded. He’d confessed to Sam that he was nervous about having to go back since he didn’t know what Uriel and everyone else was going to do or say.

“I know,” Dean said. “But if I don’t do this today, then I’ll just have to do it tomorrow. Might as well get it over with…besides, Cas is here today. If nothing else, I’ve gotta make sure that he’s okay.”

“You really like him, don’t you?” Sam asked with a smile. He’d been ecstatic when Dean told him that they were officially together, and ever since, he’d been determined to point out whenever Dean did something even remotely sappy.

“I do,” Dean said without hesitation as he unbuckled his seat belt. “But you should go in before me. I don’t want them making you a target too just cuz you’re standing near me.”

“Fine, be paranoid,” Sam said as he got out of the car. “I’ll see you after school.”

“See ya,” Dean said. “Don’t forget we’ve gotta get some of the silverware from the house before we go back to the apartment.”

“I won’t,” Sam nodded, giving Dean a joking salute before turning around and walking inside the school.

There were still fifteen minutes left before school started, so Dean killed the engine of his car and took out his phone.

**Are you at school yet? –DW**

Dean tapped the phone against his leg in anticipation until a minute or so later when Cas answered him.

**Almost there. Why? Did something happen already? –CN**

Dean sighed. He hated thinking that Cas was so worried when something like this shouldn’t even have to cross either of their minds. What did it say about where they lived when they were constantly on edge about the other’s safety just showing up at school?

Dean had never wanted out of Kansas more than he did in that moment.

**No, I’m fine. Just nervous, I guess. I wanted to talk to you before I walked in. –DW**

It didn’t take Dean long to send another message along with that one.

**And I wanted to ask if you’d be up for walking in with me. –DW**

It didn’t take long for Cas to reply, and Dean opened the message as soon as he got it.

**That would be great. We’re in this together, Dean. It feels nice to know you’re with me. –CN**

**Then I’ll see you soon, I guess. Meet you in the parking lot? –DW**

**Yeah, we’re pulling into the school now. –CN**

Dean put his phone down and reluctantly grabbed his backpack, getting out of the car. He spotted Castiel’s car quickly and walked over to it when it parked.

“Dean,” Cas greeted as he got out.

“Hey, Cas,” Dean said, the corners of his mouth turning up in a smile.

Gabe flashed Dean an approving smile and walked towards the school, leaving them alone.

Dean put his arm around Castiel’s waist and turned to face the school. “We might as well be confident if everyone probably already knows,” he said, squeezing him encouragingly.

“You’re right,” Cas agreed with a sigh, looking up at the school. “God, this building has never looked so daunting in my life.”

“I’m right there with you,” Dean said. The walls somehow looked a little higher, and the overall feel of the place seemed a little worse. There was no telling what was going to happen to them today, but hopefully it wouldn’t be anything too bad. “Maybe Uriel was bluffing?” he joked.

“Are you saying that to comfort me, or yourself?” Cas asked with a slightly uncomfortable chuckle.

“I don’t know,” Dean said. “But either way, I don’t think it’s working very well.”

“Nope,” Cas shook his head. “But we might as well get this over with. There’s not even that much time before classes start anyway. I doubt something bad could happen now.”

“You’re right,” Dean said, starting to walk them towards the doors of the school. “We’ve just gotta face whatever’s gonna happen.”

Cas nodded and leaned into Dean’s side a little more as they neared the doors. He didn’t even want to try to look past the glass in the centers of the doors to see what the people on the other side were doing.

Dean took great comfort in feeling Cas lean into him like that. It was just what he needed to make himself feel better; a tug in his chest to remind him that this was what he was fighting for. And damn, was it worth it.

Dean used his free hand to open the door for them, and gently kept his hand on the small of Castiel’s back as he walked inside. He followed shortly after, putting his arm back around his waist.

Needless to say, the minute they walked in, everyone’s eyes were glued to them. It was strange, and unnatural.

And no one looked happy to see them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now the dreaded school encounters haha :P 
> 
> See you all same time next week! I love you so much <3 Comments, kudos, etc. are always badass to get :) 
> 
> castielfuckingnovak.tumblr.com


	17. School

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The big moment of getting to school has finally arrived! Enjoy the drama ;) Thanks for being so supportive once again, guys <3 I love you all

Cas swallowed nervously and glanced up at Dean, then back at the sea of people.

“Come on, let’s get to class,” Castiel murmured, just loudly enough so Dean could hear.

Dean didn’t respond, but Cas could tell he heard from how he started leading them towards the hallway. People parted and stared at them.

Cas was able to hear a few people muttering to their friends, words like “Did you know?” “Dean’s really gay then, huh?” and “Fucking faggots. They deserve each other.”

It was hard to tune it all out, but Cas tried to focus on walking straight ahead.

Towards the end of the line, Castiel looked down. He didn’t know if he was surprised or not when someone spat at their feet.

“ _Hey_ ,” Dean warned pointedly at the guy who’d done it.

“The fuck are you gonna do about it?” the boy replied, raising an eyebrow in challenge.

“Dean,” Cas whispered, hoping Dean would sense the slight begging tone to his voice. Now really wasn’t the time for them to get into any fights, even if Cas did appreciate that it was to protect their dignity.

Dean didn’t say anything, but turned his attention away from the other student to walk further into the hallway.

“It’s okay,” Cas said, trying to calm both Dean and himself. Once they got to class, at least they’d be moderately safe.

“No, it’s not,” Dean shook his head. “But we’re gonna get through it. We’re better than them, and we’ve got each other...that’s all that matters.”

Cas smiled softly up at him. “It is,” he said as they stopped outside his first period class. “Thanks for walking me.”

“Of course,” Dean said, leaning down to kiss him. “I’ll see you at lunch, right?”

“Right,” Castiel said, blushing slightly at how several people had stopped walking to stare once they had kissed.

“Later,” Dean said, winking at Cas in a way that was obviously trying to diffuse the tension around them.

Cas nodded after him and turned around to walk into the classroom quickly. He didn’t want to take the time to look back at someone for fear of them wanting to start something with him.

“Hey Cas,” Charlie greeted when he sat down next to her.

“Hey,” Castiel replied, forcing a smile as he made himself look at her. He wasn’t really in the mood to talk to anyone, but he supposed Charlie was one of the two things that would keep him sane today.

“How are you holding up?” she asked, lowering her voice and looking up at the undoubtedly glaring students in the room.

“Okay so far,” Cas said. “But I’ve only been here ten minutes. That could change.”

“Don’t think like that,” Charlie said, patting him on the shoulder encouragingly. “Maybe they’ll just stare for a day or two and then get over it.”

“Yeah, maybe,” Cas said with another forced smile. He didn’t believe a word of that, but it was nice knowing Charlie was willing to be the positive one. He could use that kind of person now.

“But hey…official couple status must be nice, right?” Charlie tried, not wanting her friend to focus on only the sadness of today.

“It is,” Cas nodded, looking at her with a slightly less forced smile. “Knowing we’re actually something to each other is amazing…never thought I’d get here with anyone. The fact that it’s Dean just makes it even better.”

“You guys have a really great story,” Charlie said. “I hope you know I’m gonna tell it at your wedding.”

“You don’t know we’re gonna get married,” Cas said, acknowledging that the thought sent butterflies through his stomach.

“And _you_ don’t know you’re _not_ gonna get married,” Charlie pointed out, only half-teasing. “It’d be badass if you guys did. He’s a good one, Cas. Don’t let him go.”

“I won’t,” Cas said. “I’m not sure how the hell I’m gonna do that, but I won’t. He means the world to me.”

“And I’ll bet anything you mean the world to him too,” Charlie said, ruffling his hair as the teacher stood up from his desk and walked to the middle of the front of the room.

 

 

Castiel’s first few classes went by without any major problems. A few people stared at him the whole time, a few people made inappropriate remarks, and of course, the now ever-present whispers. It felt like everyone was talking about him and Dean, and no one had been supportive other than Charlie.

Cas was sure that something bad was going to happen at some point, and on his way to lunch, his fears were verified.

Out of nowhere, someone slammed him into a locker. Cas dropped his books and whimpered at the harsh impact of his side against the metal.

Castiel barely turned his head to see who it was when Uriel’s face filled his vision.

“Walking around without your bodyguard of a boyfriend? Pretty dangerous, Cas. Never know who you might run into,” Uriel chuckled as he looked over his shoulder. “Guys?”

Cas turned his head to look past Uriel and saw Alistair and Azazel making their way towards them. He groaned in fear and shrank against the lockers.

“What’s the matter, Cassie?” Alistair called once he’d arrived.

Uriel stepped back so he wasn’t cornering Castiel anymore, but that didn’t make Cas feel any less trapped.

“Just leave me alone,” Cas said, trying to sound confident.

Everyone around him had stopped walking and was watching the scene unfold, but Cas had a feeling everyone had lost whatever sympathy they might have had a few days ago.

“Leave you alone?” Azazel asked, narrowing his eyes in mock confusion. “Cas, you know us better than that.”

Azazel shoved Castiel’s shoulder so he hit the lockers again, this time on his back.

Cas decided it was best to just not say anything and get this over with. He looked down at the ground, only to have Uriel put his fingers under his chin and tilt it up to look at him.

“I wanna see your face when we do this to you,” Uriel muttered. “And don’t worry…Dean’s gonna get the same treatment.”

Cas didn’t even get the chance to take the deep breath he needed to calm himself down before the first punch connected with his jaw.

His head slammed back against the metal of the lockers behind him, and he reached up to gently hold that part of his face.

Cas could hear everyone around him encouraging the fight, but he knew he didn’t stand a chance against the three of them. He didn’t want to try to fight back.

Another fist connected with his nose, sending him several steps sideways from the sudden blow. He felt blood run down his face and into his mouth, spitting it out on the ground.

“Not even gonna try to fight back?” Alistair asked in a taunting voice. He stood in front of Castiel and held his arms straight out so he was vulnerable. “Come on, I’ll give you a free shot.”

Cas looked at Alistair with all the rage in the world, but shook his head. In the end, if he tried anything that would only lead to a worse beating.

“Suit yourself then,” Alistair said, pretending to turn around before pivoting and punching Castiel in the gut in an impossibly quick amount of time.

Castiel groaned and doubled over, crossing his arms over his stomach. He closed his eyes at the sharp pain and tried to walk away from the three boys, only to get kicked to the ground.

The foot had connected with Castiel’s lower back, and there wasn’t much he could do while lying on his side on the floor in too much pain to move properly. He spat out more blood onto the floor and kept his eyes shut. At this point, it was better to not know what else was coming.

“Help,” Castiel rasped, the voice coming out as barely a whisper.

Uriel got down on his knees and lifted Castiel’s head up, then let it drop hard onto the floor.

Castiel let out as much of a scream of pain as he could, hoping he’d pass out from all the agony sooner rather than later.

Just then, Cas heard the faint voice of a teacher yelling for everyone to get out of the way. When he looked up, Uriel, Azazel, and Alistair were gone. Left alone and bleeding on the floor, Cas coughed and curled into a ball, trying desperately not to cry.

“Castiel, are you alright? My god, what happened to you?”

Cas recognized the voice as his English teacher, Ms. Keating. She sounded appalled, and for some reason, Cas wanted to laugh. No one would be willing to say who really did this, including himself.

“Castiel, can you hear me?” Ms. Keating asked again, slightly more panicked this time. She reached out and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder.

Castiel nodded, not sure if he had the strength to speak.

“I’m gonna take you to the nurse, okay?” Ms. Keating said. “You think you can stand?”

“Don’t know,” Cas moaned, not even able to really hear himself to know if it had come out understandably.

“I’ll help you,” Ms. Keating said.

Castiel opened his eyes and watched as the teacher looked over her shoulder and made a shooing motion with her hand towards the kids who were still watching.

“Get out of here,” she said firmly. “Go to class.”

Cas heard her murmur, “Oughtta be ashamed of themselves,” as she pulled him up.

It was a slow and painful process, but eventually Cas was on his feet. He was still doubled over from the pain in his gut, and had moved one hand up to cover his nose and wipe at the blood.

Ms. Keating kept her arm around Castiel’s shoulders supportively as she guided him into the lunch room, which they had to pass in order to get to the nurse.

In a matter of seconds after they’d entered the room, Cas noticed Dean running up to them.

“What the hell happened?” Dean asked, making them stop in their tracks.

Cas groaned and shook his head.

“Someone beat him up,” Ms. Keating explained. “I didn’t see who it was that started the fight, but he needs to see the nurse.”

 Cas looked up to see Dean’s expression change to one of pure rage.

“I’ll take him,” Dean said, going to the other side of Cas and putting an arm around his waist. “Thank you, Ms. Keating.”

“Of course. Just make sure he gets there safely,” she said. “And don’t you worry, I’ll make sure I find out who’s responsible for this.”

Dean just nodded at her gratefully as she turned away, and started taking Cas to the nurse.

“They fucking did this to you, didn’t they?” Dean asked, his voice dangerously low.

“Dean, don’t,” Cas managed to get out.

“Cas, you’re bleeding and can hardly walk. Someone’s gotta make them pay,” Dean insisted.

“It doesn’t have to be you,” Castiel rasped, realizing it was slightly easier to talk. “I’ll be fine.”

“That doesn’t make me feel better,” Dean said, turning a corner.

“Said they’d do this to you too,” Castiel said, glancing up at Dean and leaning into his side.

“No they won’t,” Dean said. “They’re not gonna get away with this.”

As they arrived at the nurse’s office, Dean took him inside and sat him on one of the small beds.

“Want me to stay?” Dean asked, his voice gentle and kind. He carefully brushed his fingers through Castiel’s hair.

Cas was about to ask him to when the nurse came in.

“No,” he said. “But I want to go home…text you when I’m done here?”

“Sure, baby,” Dean said understandingly. He flashed a look of appreciation at the nurse and kissed Cas’s hair before reluctantly getting up and walking out of the room.

Dean leaned against the door and breathed deeply, tears blinding his vision.

It took about ten minutes before Castiel walked out of the nurse’s office and could go home, where Dean happily drove him.

 

 

Dean wound up being late for his next class, but he was far from caring at that point.

He could hear everyone talking behind his back about him, and every now and then someone would purposefully bump into him as they walked by. It was getting on his nerves, but he tried to remain calm.

Dean spotted a guy he’d hung out with a few times in the halls, and stopped him in his tracks.

“Cole,” Dean said, crossing his arms.

“Look Dean, I really can’t talk right now,” Cole said, looking around anxiously.

“No one’s gonna give a fuck if you talk to the school joke for a few seconds,” Dean said. “I need you to tell me where Uriel is.”

“How the hell would I know that?” Cole asked, glaring at him. “Out of my way, I’ve gotta get to class.”

“Cole,” Dean said in a warning tone. “Where is he?”

“I don’t know,” Cole said again, firmly. “In class? Out back by the fence? You hung out with him more than I did.”

Dean rolled his eyes and backed off, walking faster down the halls. He was determined to find Uriel, Azazel, and Alistair to make them pay for what they did to Cas. Cas had told him that they were planning to do the same thing to him, but Dean wasn’t going to go down easily.

He walked out behind the school where he and the guys would go sometimes when they wanted to ditch class. There was a fence that blocked off a pathway in the woods where they would stand, but no one was there now.

Dean walked over and stood against the metal of the fence. At some point, they would all come out here. And Dean wasn’t going to let that opportunity go by.

While he was waiting, he took out his phone and texted Castiel.

**Are you doing okay? –DW**

**Yes Dean, I’m still totally fine. You need to stop worrying so much. –CN**

Dean knew Cas was trying to tough it out, but he didn’t miss the tears that his boyfriend shed in the car ride to his house. It must have been awful going through what he did.

**I can’t help it. You could barely walk a half hour ago…I need to check in for the sake of my sanity. -DW**

**Well thanks for being so nice to me about this. How’s school? You haven’t killed anyone yet, right? –CN**

Dean smirked down at his phone and looked up to make sure no one was on their way over. Still no sight of the guys. Maybe someone else had seen him and told Uriel. Maybe none of them would come by at all.

**No. I’m waiting for Uriel now though behind the school. –DW**

**Dean. –CN**

**Cas. –DW**

**I appreciate it, really. But don’t do something that could only end up getting you more hurt or in trouble, seriously. –CN**

**I’ll be fine, Cas. Keep me posted on how you’re doing and I’ll be over after school. –DW**

Dean thought for a second before sending another text.

**And no, you’re not ‘inconveniencing’ me or whatever you’re gonna say. I’ll be there. –DW**

**Alright fine. I’ll see you soon then. –CN**

**See y**

Dean looked up in the middle of typing when he heard the back door of the school swing open. Sure enough, there was Uriel and Azazel.

“No Alistair?” Dean asked with a smirk, putting his phone in his pocket.

“Dean,” Uriel said, his eyes narrowing in hate as he and Azazel walked towards him a little faster. “So eager to get punched in the face?”

“You’re gonna pay for what you did to Cas,” Dean said, closing the distance between them.

“You’re not gonna do shit to me,” Uriel said, not intimidated in the slightest.

Dean didn’t even hesitate before punching Uriel in the face, watching as blood dripped out of his nose. He didn’t get a moment of victory for long before Azazel stepped in and tried to punch Dean’s eye.

Dean ducked his head and kicked his leg out to the side, knocking Azazel onto the ground. He knew he wouldn’t stay there for long, but at least it was an advantage.

Dean used those precious seconds to punch Uriel twice more, quickly. Once in the gut and once across the face, sending him several steps to the left as he tried to regain his balance.

Uriel let out a frustrated groan and ran towards Dean, punching him in the stomach hard enough to make him stumble back.

“Fuck,” Dean cursed under his breath as he recovered from the hit. He stood up only to see Azazel coming straight for him.

Dean grabbed Azazel by the collar of his shirt and used his momentum to spin him around and slam him against the fence. He took one of his hands away from the shirt to punch Azazel in the face, cherishing the slight pain it sent through his hand.

Azazel let out a low cry of pain and tried to push Dean off of him, but when Dean readied another punch, Uriel came up from behind and put him in a choke hold.

Dean let go of Azazel and gasped when he realized how much air he wasn’t getting. He leaned to the side and used all his body weight to make Uriel fall to the ground, forcing him to let go of his throat for a moment.

“Stop fighting this instant!” a voice said as the sound of the back door to the school opening filled the air.

It was the principal.

“Principal Henriksen,” Azazel said.

“The three of you, my office. Now,” Principal Henriksen said firmly.

Dean rolled to the side so he could stand up and glared at Azazel and Uriel. If nothing else, at least he wouldn’t be the only one getting suspended for this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaand the punishment shall continue next week. See you all then! :) 
> 
> Comments, kudos, etc. always help keep this fic running so thank you for making it as loved as it is
> 
> castielfuckingnovak.tumblr.com


	18. The Real Thing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 18 let's do this thing! I hope you guys like it...I think it's pretty cute haha. Thanks so much for all your love and support <3

Dean, Azazel, and Uriel were all sitting next to each other in front of Principal Henriksen about five minutes later.

Dean eyed the other two every now and then, his gaze full of hatred.

“Who wants to tell me what happened?” the principal asked, scanning all three of them.

Dean had never been in a tenser situation in his life, and he just wanted to get out of there.

“I was defending Cas,” Dean said firmly.

Principal Henriksen raised his eyebrows and leaned forward in his seat. “So you’re suggesting that Uriel and Azazel were involved in what happened to Castiel earlier today?” he asked.

“I’m saying they’re the ones who did it, yeah. Them and Alistair,” Dean nodded without hesitation.

“Uriel? Alistair?” Principal Henriksen said, turning his attention to the other students. “Is that true?”

“No way,” Uriel replied. “We weren’t the ones who did that.”

Principal Henriksen sighed and returned to Dean. “What makes you think they were responsible?” he asked.

“Because Cas told me,” Dean said. “And because they’re the only ones that would do something like this. Come on, Mr. Henriksen. They’re violent and they’re popular. Of course they’re gonna pick on him.”

“There’s no proof right now that they beat him up. No one’s come forward to say they witnessed the fight,” Principal Henriksen said. “Right now you’re all looking at a three day suspension, but that’s just for this fight.”

“No one’s said anything because look at them,” Dean insisted, pointing to his right where the others sat. “I’m telling you, they did it. They beat Cas up, then went after me because-.” He stopped talking, not sure if he should get into that now. Maybe the principal would even take their side in all this.

“Because…” Mr. Henriksen trailed off, prompting Dean to continue.

“Because Cas and I are dating,” Dean said. Might as well put it all out there if it could help them in the long run. “And they’re targeting us because they’re homophobic.”

It took everything for Dean not to start swearing and getting upset just talking about it, but he managed to keep himself under control.

Mr. Henriksen looked back over at Uriel and Azazel. “Is that true?” He asked it like he already didn’t believe whatever they were about to say.

“Of course not,” Uriel said. “We were defending ourselves against Dean outside. He went totally crazy and started punching us first because he thinks we did something to Cas.”

Dean glared harshly at Uriel, still not understanding how the hell someone could be that twisted.

“Yeah, seriously,” Azazel agreed. “We’d never do anything to Cas, and we were defending ourselves.”

It sickened Dean to think about how much of a mindless zombie all of Uriel’s so-called friends were.

“I can be lenient when it comes to self-defense,” Principal Henriksen said. “Punching someone back, even kicking them to be sure they aren’t going to try to hurt you again before you can run away…but when I got outside, I saw Uriel putting Dean in a chokehold. To me, that’s not self-defense. That’s cruel, and it’s unnecessary violence. I’ll tell you boys, right now I’m inclined to believe Dean.”

Dean felt his mouth twitch up in a quick smile.

“We had to make sure that-,” Azazel tried to reason.

“I don’t need to hear anything else,” Principal Henriksen said, holding up a hand as a signal for Azazel to stop talking. “All I know for sure is that you three were in a fight, and Dean was the one at a severe disadvantage. Since no one else has said anything about Uriel, Azazel’s, or Alistair’s involvement in Castiel’s injuries, I can’t punish anyone for that yet. As of right now, Uriel and Azazel, you’re suspended for three days. Dean, you’re free to go.”

“Seriously?” Dean asked, sitting up a little straighter at that. Even though he was pissed Alistair wasn’t getting punished, he was sure he could find one or two people to cave and tell Henriksen that the three of them beat up Cas.

“Seriously,” Mr. Henriksen said, motioning for Dean to leave his office.

“Thanks,” Dean said. He stood up and smirked at Uriel and Azazel before leaving and closing the door behind him.

Once Dean was in the hallway, he took out his phone and dialed Castiel’s number. He answered on the second ring.

“Hello, Dean,” Castiel said. His voice was already less scratchy, which Dean took as a good sign.

“Hey Cas,” Dean replied fondly. “You sound better. Feeling better too, or is it just some painkillers talking?” he teased.

“Little of both,” Castiel said. “I took a nap, but when I woke up I didn’t feel much better.” There was a pause in conversation, then he continued, “Dean, I’m scared.”

“Scared of what?” Dean asked, even though he was pretty sure he already knew.

“To go back to school tomorrow,” Cas confirmed. “I don’t want to have to face them again, Dean; I don’t know if I can do it. And what if they try it again? That would only make things worse. I’m not strong enough to fight back against them.”

“Calm down, angel,” Dean said soothingly into the receiver. “It’ll be okay. That’s actually kind of why I was calling. I’ve got some good news.”

“What is it?” Cas asked curiously.

“Uriel and Azazel just got suspended for three days,” Dean replied.

“What? How?” Cas asked.

“I ran into them, and we got into a fight,” Dean said.

“Dean, I told you-,” Cas started. Dean could already hear the lecture he was about to go into.

“I know, and I’m sorry I didn’t listen,” Dean said. “But the principal came out, stopped us, and once he got the story he took my side. I got out without a punishment, but we’ll at least have a few days without worrying about them.”

“That’s amazing,” Castiel said, the smile clear in his voice.

“Yeah. Alistair will still be around, but we can handle him. Especially when his leader’s gone,” Dean said.

“Thank you, Dean,” Castiel said.

“You’re welcome,” Dean replied. “Can I come over? Take care of you?”

“I hardly need to be taken care of,” Cas laughed. “But sure, come over. I’d love to see you.”

“Alright, be there soon,” Dean said. “After what just happened, I should probably go to sixth period so I won’t get in any more trouble, but I’ll bring Sam home and then go to your place.”

“Sounds great,” Cas said.

 

 

Dean showed up at Castiel’s house after school was over and knocked on the door.

Cas opened it and gave Dean a soft smile. “Hey,” he said, stepping aside so Dean could come in.

“Hey,” Dean said. “How are you feeling?”

“Better. And I think I mean that this time,” Cas chuckled, closing the door.

“Can I try something?” Dean asked, a mischievous smile on his face.

“Sure?” Cas said with a smile, suspicious.

“Put your arms around my neck,” Dean said, grinning even wider when Castiel complied. He bent down slightly and lifted Cas into the air, adjusting until he was carrying him bridal style.

Cas let out a small noise of surprise, but laughed nonetheless.

“Light as a feather,” Dean commented playfully, starting to walk towards the couch in the living room.

“You’re insane,” Cas said, kissing him on the cheek.

“It’s something I pride myself in,” Dean said, gently putting him down on the couch and pulling the blanket over him. “Want me to get you anything?”

“I don’t know,” Cas said, thinking it over. “I’m kind of hungry, but I’m not sure what we have.”

“I’m on it,” Dean replied, leaning down to kiss him on the lips. “No ice packs or anything?”

“No, the pain’s finally tolerable,” Cas said. “Thank you though.”

“No problem,” Dean said, walking into the kitchen.

He searched through the pantry, listening as Cas turned on the TV in the background and flipped through the channels. He found some soup and put it on the stove, watching Cas as he stirred it in the pot.

Something in Dean’s chest tightened as he looked over at Castiel while he stood in the kitchen. This whole thing just felt so right, it was impossible to ignore.

 

 

Dean was dreading getting home and having to explain his injuries to his mom. He’d already told Sam not to say anything so she wouldn’t freak out any more than she had to.

Once Dean walked in the front door of the apartment, he looked around the small space for his mother. Sam was probably in his room studying since he wasn’t in the living room watching television.

“Dean, are you home?” he heard his mom yell from down the hall.

“Yeah,” Dean said, listening to her footsteps as she came closer. He braced himself for her reaction, which presented itself in a gasp.

“My god, what happened to you?” Mary asked, rushing over to him and putting a gentle hand to his face.

“I’m fine, mom,” Dean tried to insist. He just had a few scrapes and bruises scattered along his face, and some marks along his sides, but all around he felt pretty okay.

“You don’t look fine, Dean,” Mary said. “Sit down and tell me what happened.”

Dean sighed and walked past her, sitting down on the couch. “I got in a fight with some guys from school,” he said. “But I was protecting my boyfriend.”

Mary blinked. “Cas is your boyfriend now?” she asked.

Dean nodded. “Yeah, he is,” he said proudly. “But these guys are kind of targeting us now that we’re open about it, and they beat Cas up earlier today.”

“What guys are these?” Mary asked. “Do you know them?”

“Yeah,” Dean said, starting to get a little uncomfortable. “It was Uriel, Azazel, and Alistair.”

Mary’s eyes widened. “Your teammates?” she asked, shocked. “The ones you spent every weekend with?”

“Yep,” Dean nodded. He ran his fingers through his hair and looked at the ground for a moment. “They’re not good guys, mom. I always knew it, but I didn’t think they’d ever go this far.”

“That’s unacceptable,” his mom said firmly. Then her eyes softened when she saw how much pain Dean seemed to be in just talking about it. “Honey, I’m so sorry. But you didn’t have to go and get in a fight with them because of it. The school would have handled it.”

“No they wouldn’t have, mom,” Dean said. “No one was gonna say they saw the three of them do it, and at least this way two of them got in trouble. I think the principal believed me when I told him they hurt Cas too, but he needs more than just whatever I say to punish them.”

“Do you want me to try to help?” Mary asked.

“No,” Dean shook his head. “I’m gonna try to get this worked out on my own. But there’s something you should know.”

“What?” Mary asked, her voice hesitant.

“The garage that night? That was them,” Dean said. “At least Uriel, anyway. It was after he found out about Cas and I.”

“Oh, Dean,” his mom said, putting her arms around him in a warm embrace. “I’m so sorry. You shouldn’t have to go through things like this…especially not so young.”

“It’s okay, mom,” Dean said, hugging her back.

“I love you so much, sweetie,” Mary whispered, pulling away with tears in her eyes. “No matter what, I’ll always love you.”

“I know,” Dean said, giving her a slight smile. “I love you too.”

“Then come on, I’ll get dinner started,” Mary said. “Can I get you something for the pain? That’s gotta hurt.”

“Not so much now,” Dean said.

“Alright. Let me know if anything changes,” Mary said. She stood up and walked to the kitchen while Dean listened to her move some pots and pans around.

He supposed this was his new life. Everything was finally unpacked, so here they were. And so far it wasn’t too bad. With John out of the picture, it was all a little easier.

 

 

The following day, Dean told Cas he didn’t have to take Sam home from school. He was getting a ride home with his friend, so they decided to go back to Castiel’s place and stay there for a bit.

Not too many people bothered them throughout the day, which was already much better than yesterday. They both got a lot of glares and whispers behind their backs, but that was to be expected at this point.

Once Dean and Cas were in the safety of his car, Dean kissed him on the cheek. They’d decided to keep PDA to a minimum for a while, at least until the insults and staring died down a little. Right now it seemed like they were tempting someone to lose it and target them again while Uriel and Azazel were away.

“That was…better than yesterday,” Cas said, leaning back in the passenger seat.

“Yeah, it was,” Dean agreed, starting the car.

“It’s not gonna last for long,” Castiel pointed out. “And Alistair’s more than capable of doing something crazy on his own.”

“I know,” Dean said. “But we can handle it if it’s just him. Just like today, I’ll walk you to and from all your classes, alright?”

“I don’t need this much protecting, Dean,” Castiel said, feeling guilty that Dean was so afraid for him of what could happen. He hated that he was so weak and couldn’t really defend himself.

“I know, but it’s better for us to walk together,” Dean said. “For both of our sakes. And Charlie can join in too if she wants; the more support we have, the easier this will be. Not by much, but still.”

“Okay,” Cas nodded. It made sense, and he was sure Charlie would be with them whenever she could. “Maybe we could all eat lunch together tomorrow. You, me, and Charlie.”

“I’d like that a lot,” Dean smiled, turning a corner. “Put on some music, we need to stop thinking about this shit for ten minutes.”

Cas chuckled and picked up a few cassettes to look through, stopping when he found one he’d never listened to before. He put it in the player and turned it up, smiling when he saw Dean start tapping his fingers on the steering wheel to the beat.

He watched Dean sing along as they drove home, almost looking the happiest he’d ever seen him despite the injuries on his face. It was incredible, really. There were so many shitty things going on in their lives, but Dean could always find a way to be optimistic, at least around him.

 

 

When they arrived at Castiel’s house, Dean turned off the radio and killed the engine.

“I’d say that was a pretty kickass drive home,” Dean said proudly.

“It definitely was,” Cas laughed, getting out of the car. “I love when you sing along like that.”

“And I love having a captive audience,” Dean teased. He walked over to Castiel’s side and took his hand as they walked in.

“I’ll get us some drinks. You turn on the fire and pick something for us to watch,” Cas said as he wandered into the kitchen.

Dean did as he was told and sat down, glancing over at Cas every now and then.

When Castiel came over, he was holding two steaming mugs.

“Hot chocolate,” Cas said, handing Dean his.

“Sweet, thanks,” Dean said gratefully, taking a sip.

“No problem,” Castiel replied, doing the same.

They sat in relative silence for a while, watching TV together and drinking hot chocolate. Cas draped his legs over Dean’s lap after a while and laid back against the armrest of the couch, smiling to himself when Dean rested his hand over his legs.

“There’s something I’ve been meaning to talk to you about,” Castiel said once the show was over, sitting up straight.

Dean turned to look at him. “What is it?” he asked.

“College,” Cas said.

Dean blinked. “Isn’t it a little early to be talking about that?” he asked.

“Yeah, but I don’t know,” Castiel shrugged. “There’s this special program where I can apply for early acceptance at Kansas State, and I’m thinking about doing it.”

“Wait,” Dean said, trying to wrap his head around this. “Does that mean you’d go to college a year early?”

“No,” Cas shook his head. “I’d just have a place to go once I graduate next year, and that got me thinking. Do you think we’ll still be together when college rolls around?”

Dean looked Cas in the eyes and said, “I’d like us to be. I mean, no one knows for sure, but…I’d really like to be with you a year from now.”

“Then let’s assume we are,” Cas said, reaching out and taking Dean’s hand, looking down at their fingers. “What do we do after we graduate high school? If we go to different colleges, then we’d have to try long distance, and that almost never ends well.”

“Cas, don’t over think this,” Dean comforted. “We’re gonna be fine, okay? I can’t afford out of state, so I’ll be going somewhere here too. Don’t know if KSU would let me in, but I’ll try. I’ll try everything I can to stay close to you.”

“But I don’t want you going to school there just because of me,” Castiel said.

“I won’t be going there just because of you,” Dean said. “I’ll be going there because it’s a good school. It’s not like I know what I want to do with myself for the rest of my life, so I won’t wanna leave you for Harvard.”

Cas smiled slightly at that. “Alright,” he said with a nod.

“So you apply for early acceptance,” Dean said, squeezing his hand. “And we’ll go from there. Nothing can keep us apart, Cas. Especially not something like college. It’s a ways off, so don’t think about it too much. Come here.” He gestured for Cas to lean in, and kissed him slowly when he did.

“You always know just what to say to me,” Cas whispered, pressing their lips together again.

“I’m glad I can help,” Dean said, leaning back a little. “And I kind of have something that I was going to talk to you about too.”

“Really?” Castiel asked.

“Yeah,” Dean said. “Um…okay, this is gonna sound lame. But you’re the first person I’ve ever met who really made me want to do something like this.”

“I like the anticipation,” Castiel laughed. “Come on, Dean. What is it?”

Dean sighed and let out a breathy laugh. “There have been posters around the school for months now, and I don’t think I can go another day without asking, so I’m sorry I didn’t do this in some ridiculous and romantic way like I wanted. But Castiel Novak, will you go to prom with me?”

Castiel’s eyes widened in shock, but he smiled widely and kissed him. “Of course I’ll go to prom with you,” he said. “Shit, you must really like me if you’d be willing to get a tux and dance with me in public all night.”

“I really, really do,” Dean said easily.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I warned you it was cute did I not? :P Hope you guys are ready for some smut next week, and the chapter as a whole will probably be a little longer. Hell, I might even post two in a night if I really get going.   
> Sadly, I've only got plans for three more chapters 3 (four if I break the next one into two) But this is seriously such an amazing story to write, and don't worry, plenty of action is gonna be packed in along with a happy ending :)   
> Comments, kudos, etc. are always awesome!
> 
> castielfuckingnovak.tumblr.com


	19. Anniversary

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 19, as promised :D It wasn't long enough to break into two parts, but it's still longer than most of my other chapters, so enjoy <3

Just when things were starting to look like they might get better, Uriel and Azazel were back at school.

Dean and Cas had walked inside the school together again, holding hands tightly.

“You’ll be okay, baby,” Dean said softly, kissing Castiel’s hair while they went down the hallway.

“If you say so,” Cas said with a sad attempt at a smile. “Let’s do this, I guess.”

“Let’s do this,” Dean echoed, stopping when they reached the door of their first period. He glanced around, seeing the place was hardly crowded at all, and kissed him.

Cas reluctantly took their hands apart and walked into class next to Dean. Uriel wasn’t there yet, but that was probably because he was planning something awful for later.

Dean had been trying to convince him that Uriel and Azazel wouldn’t try anything again for a while since it would only make them in worse trouble than they already were, but something told Cas they didn’t give a shit.

He went straight to his seat and kept his head down, not wanting to even risk seeing Uriel walk into the room. It was a stupid idea, but it was worth a shot. Maybe looking at Uriel would aggravate him enough to hurt him, and Cas couldn’t take that risk. He was barely healed from the last beating he’d gotten.

“Hey man, you’re back,” Cas heard a football player say from the row behind him. There was only one person he could be talking to.

Cas didn’t even want to look over at Dean in case that would entice Uriel to make some sort of homophobic comment off the bat.

“Fuck yeah I’m back,” Uriel said.

Cas looked at his lap, completely expecting the movement of Uriel’s arm knocking the books off his desk but flinching nonetheless.

Uriel laughed as he sat down, and Cas moved out of his seat to pick up the books. He suddenly felt awful for Dean, having to actually sit next to the bastard. Then again, Dean was better at ignoring all this stuff than he was.

“You missed me?” Castiel overheard Uriel ask someone. Probably Dean, from the lack of response. “Oh come on, don’t be like that. I thought we were past all this, Dean.”

“Just stay the fuck away from us, Uriel. It’s that easy,” Dean said, sounding threateningly calm. “Do that, and no one gets hurt. No one has to go through any more shit, and you won’t get expelled.”

Uriel let out something that sounded like a choked off laugh and reached forward to pat Castiel on the shoulder. “We have fun, don’t we, guys?” he asked, his voice digging further under Castiel’s skin.

Cas looked behind him and watched as Dean took Uriel’s arm and twisted it away, holding it in place. “Don’t you dare touch him,” Dean growled, letting go of his arm.

“Fair enough,” Uriel smirked.

Cas turned back around, and luckily that was the moment Mr. Singer had walked in.

All he had to do was survive the rest of the day. Right now, that’s all that mattered.

“Just get through the day,” Cas whispered to himself, knowing it was gonna be a hell of a lot harder than it sounded.

 

 

By lunch time, nobody had tried to physically hurt Castiel. He would’ve taken that as a good sign, but lunch was usually when things started to go wrong. There was more time for them to when no one had anywhere to be.

He didn’t see Dean at the table, and Charlie was home with a cold, so he texted him.

**You gonna be at lunch soon? –CN**

**Yeah, sorry. Took an extra five minutes to finish my damn physics test. Be there soon. –DW**

Cas smiled down at his phone and started walking towards the table when he was suddenly shoved to the ground in the middle of the lunchroom.

“What the hell?” Cas muttered angrily, looking up to see who it was. In his moment of anger, he’d almost wondered who had done it.

Uriel, Azazel, and Alistair were looming over him, laughing.

“Bet this feels a little like déjà vu, huh Cassie?” Alistair asked menacingly.

“Please,” Cas begged quietly. “Please don’t do this.”

“Get up,” Azazel commanded harshly.

Castiel slowly did as he said, not wanting to get into this whole thing again.

Uriel got up in Castiel’s face, only inches away from him. “Think you can just send me home for a few days and then you’re off the hook?” he asked, grabbing Castiel’s shirt collar.

“Uriel!” Dean shouted as he ran towards the four of them. “Get away from him.”

Uriel turned his face to look at Dean, but made no move to back up from Castiel.

“You fucking heard me,” Dean said in a low voice. “One last chance.”

Uriel laughed and let go of Castiel’s shirt, shoving his chest back as he took a step away. “Happy now, Winchester?” he asked.

“No, I’m not,” Dean said, walking so he was standing between Cas and Uriel, staring daggers into the violent man’s eyes.

“Come on, Dean. We were just having some fun,” Azazel said, putting his arm around Uriel’s shoulders. “You know how we like to joke around with Cassie here.”

“All of you need to shut the hell up and listen to me,” Dean said firmly, looking at each of them in turn. “Cas and I aren’t gonna change. And I get that you’re all homophobic assholes, and you know what? That’s fine. Think however the hell you want. But there’s nothing you can do or say that’ll make a difference to us.”

“Dean,” Cas said in a hushed voice from behind him.

“You hear that, guys?” Uriel asked with a laugh. “He thinks he can talk us down.”

“Or I can beat you into the ground until no one’ll recognize you,” Dean said, narrowing his eyes menacingly. “Your choice.”

“You don’t have anything on me,” Uriel said. “It’s three against one, Dean. You know what that means.”

“It means I don’t care,” Dean countered strongly, shoving Uriel back. A crowd had gathered by now, and they were all silently staring. “It means I’m dangerous. I don’t give a shit how many people you get to back you up, Uriel. It doesn’t matter. I’ll do whatever it takes so Cas and I can walk around here without having to worry about you guys showing up around every corner.”

Cas was watching the whole thing in fear, knowing some kind of violence was bound to break out at some point.

Dean leaned in close to Uriel and spoke loudly so everyone could hear.

“You think I haven’t known how you feel about me, Uriel?” Dean asked.

Uriel visibly tensed and his gaze hardened as he stared at Dean. “You need to be very careful right now, Dean,” he warned.

“The way you always need to know where I am, how you wanna spend every second with me,” Dean taunted. “You might have beaten up me and my boyfriend, but I don’t think that’s because you hate what we are. I think it’s because you hate yourself. You wish you were comfortable enough to admit that you’ve liked me as a hell of a lot more than a friend for a long fucking time.”

The students who had gathered were talking hushed tones now, trying to figure out if Dean was being serious.

“You’re calling me gay?” Uriel demanded, taking a step forward to get in Dean’s space.

“I am,” Dean said, his voice not wavering in the slightest. “You’re not exactly subtle about it, Uriel. I mean, come on.”

That was all it took for Uriel to punch Dean in the jaw, tilting his head backwards with the force of impact.

Dean grabbed his jaw and rubbed it a little, giving Uriel an amused smile. “I was hoping you’d swing first,” he smirked before punching Uriel in the eye.

“Dean, be careful! Someone get the principal!” Castiel yelled out. He saw several people scatter, but there was no way to tell if they were going to get help.

Cas watched the horrible fight between Dean, Uriel, Azazel, and Alistair for what seemed like an eternity before some teachers arrived and pulled them off of each other.

Castiel brushed Dean’s arm with his hand as he was escorted to the principal’s office, hoping that there would be a real punishment this time. They deserved some good luck after all the hell they’d been through.

 

 

Cas was in fourth period when he finally felt his phone go off in his pocket. He pulled it out and placed it behind his binder, opening up the text message from Dean.

**Can you meet me in the hallway? –DW**

Well shit. Was that a good or a bad sign?

**Yeah, sure. Are you okay? –CN**

**I’m good, aside from the ache in my jaw. I’m outside your class. –DW**

Castiel put his phone away and asked to use the restroom, walking up to Dean who was waiting against the lockers outside.

“Oh god, Dean…your face,” Cas said sympathetically, hugging him.

“I’ll be fine,” Dean replied, hugging him back. “I _am_ fine, actually. Better than.”

“What does that mean?” Castiel asked, trying not to be too hopeful. He pulled away, but grabbed Dean’s hand as they looked at each other.

Dean couldn’t keep the smile from taking over his face. “The three of them got expelled,” he said.

Castiel blinked. “They what?” he asked.

“They got expelled,” Dean repeated, a small laugh escaping him at the end of his sentence. “Cas…we did it. We’ll be okay.”

Cas didn’t even realize he was about to cry until he felt a tear fall down his face and Dean carefully wiped it away. “They…they’re expelled? How?” he asked in confusion.

“Apparently a few students came forward and said that they saw them beating you up,” Dean said, squeezing Castiel’s hand. “And Henriksen knows Uriel and Azazel hurt me…and now this. Since every student who’s talked to him said that they were the ones who started it, he realized they were the problems.”

Castiel shook his head and threw his arms around Dean again. He couldn’t contain himself, he was so relieved. “Good things are finally happening to us,” he whispered.

“Yeah, they are,” Dean nodded, keeping him close. “And no one can take that away…we’ll make it through this, Cas. We don’t have to worry about them anymore…I mean, I know people are still gonna give us shit, but this is a step. A big one.”

“It is,” Cas said. “Thank you, Dean. Really. This means everything to me. To us, I guess, in the long run.”

Dean smiled and kissed him, then looked over his shoulder into the classroom. “As much as I’d love to keep going with this, you should probably get back in there,” he said. “I’ll text you?”

“Yeah,” Cas said. He kissed Dean again and pulled away to go back into the classroom.

As soon as Castiel sat down, he felt his phone go off. He couldn’t help but smile to himself as he took it out and looked at the screen.

**And even better, this Friday’s our two month anniversary since we started talking online. You wanna make a big deal out of it? –DW**

**You remember the day we started talking? –CN**

**Of course. Changed my life. –DW**

Cas suppressed a grin so the teacher wouldn’t get suspicious.

**You’re such a sap. I’d love to. What do you have in mind? –CN**

**You’ll see. –DW**

**Alright, dork. –CN**

**Thought I was a sap. –DW**

**Let me pay attention in class. –CN**

**Alright, babe. See you later. –DW**

Castiel put his phone away and tried to pay attention to the rest of the lecture.

 

 

When class was over, Castiel found Charlie out in the hallway and ran up to her.

“Hey, did you hear the news?” he asked with a smile.

“Hell yeah, I did. I was one of the kids who said I saw those assholes beat you up,” Charlie said.

“Have I ever told you I love you?” Castiel asked, hugging her.

“I never get tired of hearing it,” Charlie laughed, hugging him back. “I love you too. Anything to help get those guys outta here and keep you happy. How are you and Dean now?”

“We’re awesome,” Cas said with a nod. “Apparently it’s an anniversary of ours on Friday, so we’re gonna celebrate then. Now there’s nothing to distract us and freak us out in the meantime.”

“Good for you,” Charlie said, walking down the hallway with Cas at her side.

“How are you and Dorothy? Things heating up?” Cas asked teasingly, nudging her.

“A little,” Charlie revealed with a slight smile. “We’ve gone out a few times, so this weekend I was thinking about asking her to make things official. I know there’s no one else I’d wanna be seeing.”

“You make a cute couple,” Cas said. He turned his head to the side and saw Dorothy leaning against the lockers waving at them. “Speaking of which…I’ll leave you guys to it.”

Charlie rolled her eyes but grinned as she separated from Cas and went over to Dorothy. Cas watched them fondly for a moment as he turned and went to his next class.

There weren’t words to describe how good it felt to be able to walk around without worrying about Uriel, Azazel, or Alistair. Even though there was a slight fear in the back of his mind that someone could take any of their places, Cas had stopped dwelling on the possibilities for now. He needed to be in the moment, without any anxiety or dread.

 

 

When Friday finally rolled around, Cas made Gabe speed home from school.

“Someone’s excited for their date,” Gabe teased as he turned a corner.

“Can you blame me?” Castiel asked. “I’ve been in a good mood all week and now I get to spend some time with Dean over the weekend. It’ll be great.”

“You gonna spend the night?” Gabe asked, giving Cas a pointed look.

“Um…” Cas trailed off, cursing himself internally for blushing. “I don’t know.”

Gabe laughed and put a hand on Cas’s shoulder. “Hey, no pressure, alright? Do whatever you’re comfortable with,” he said. “Just let me know if you’ll be back or not.”

“Okay,” Castiel said.

As soon as they pulled into the driveway, Cas got out and went inside. He walked straight up to his room and started on homework, not wanting a single thing to be in the back of his mind when he was with Dean.

 

 

Dean rang the doorbell at exactly seven o’clock, and Cas quickly made for the door to open it.

“Hey Dean,” Cas greeted, stepping aside to let him in. “You’re right on time.”

“I’m not ashamed to say I was standing at the door for a good minute and a half before I rang the bell,” Dean chuckled, kissing him softly. “You ready to go?”

“Yeah, totally,” Cas said. “But you still haven’t told me what I’m ready for.”

“It’s nothing too fantastic,” Dean said, seemingly afraid that Cas wouldn’t like it. “But we’re gonna go out to dinner, then walk around the park.”

“That sounds perfect,” Cas said, kissing him on the cheek.

Dean grinned and took Castiel’s hand. “I wanna show you off,” he said proudly. “There’s nothing holding us back anymore, Cas.”

Cas nodded. “Then let’s go,” he said, squeezing Dean’s hand. “I’ve got a pretty hot boyfriend I wanna show off too.”

“You’re too nice to me,” Dean smiled.

“Bye Gabe,” Castiel called behind him as he and Dean left the house.

Dean opened the passenger side door of the Impala for Cas, then got in the driver’s seat.

“You’re being such a gentleman,” Cas commented.

“Thanks,” Dean said, starting the car. “You know, I’ve gone tux shopping already.”

“Really?” Cas asked in surprise.

“Yeah,” Dean replied. “Well…more tux _renting_ shopping. But I’ve got one back at my place ready to go.”

“Wow. Well now I feel behind,” Cas laughed. “Why didn’t I get to go with you?”

“Because I want you to be dazzled by how amazing I look when I come pick you up,” Dean teased, glancing over at him. “And I’m sure you’ll get something awesome. You’ll take my breath away, and all that other crap people say in romantic comedies with teenagers.”

“I hope so,” Cas smirked as they pulled into a parking lot. “Wait…really? Here?”

“Call me a romantic dork all you want. I thought it was sweet,” Dean smiled, looking up at the side of the café where they’d met for the first time.

“It’s the most thoughtful thing anyone’s ever done for me,” Cas said, leaning over and kissing him.

“I’m glad you think that,” Dean said, the corners of his mouth tugging up in a slight smile. “Come on, let’s head in.”

Castiel got out of the car and walked around to Dean. He smiled softly when he felt Dean grab his hand, and looked down at their intertwined fingers.

Cas sighed and shifted his gaze back up to Dean. “This is the first the first time we’ve ever held hands in public,” he said in slight wonder.

“Yeah, I guess it is,” Dean said, not tearing his eyes away from Castiel’s. “Kind of crazy to think about.”

“Yeah. It feels like we’ve been together for so long…and it all started here,” Cas said, smiling up at the building.

Dean led them into the building and walked straight for the booth they had sat in the first time they’d met there, reluctantly letting go of Castiel’s hand.

“The first time I saw you sitting here, I knew I was in trouble,” Dean chuckled. He put his hand on the table and turned his palm up, and Cas glanced around the café somewhat nervously. “Hey…don’t worry about any of them, okay?”

Cas smiled softly and put his hand in Dean’s on top of the table, looking him in the eyes. “Why did you know you were in trouble?”

“Because I’ve always thought you were attractive,” Dean said with a shy shrug. “And when I saw it was you with your messy hair and blue eyes, it was all over.”

Cas blushed and shook his head fondly. “Well I thought the same thing about you. You were the guy I’d had a crush on for the longest time,” he said.

“Really? Why didn’t you do anything about it?” Dean asked.

“Because you were way out of my league,” Cas chuckled. “Your friends picked on me, and I figured you wouldn’t be caught dead with someone like me. As a friend or otherwise.”

“And here we are,” Dean said. “Who would’ve thought?”

Cas smiled at him, and a waitress came over to take their order.

 

 

When dinner was finally finished and Dean had insisted on paying, Cas leaned across the table to kiss him.

Dean easily kissed him back and looked at him affectionately. “You wanna go for that walk now?” he asked.

“I’d love to,” Cas said. He got out of the booth and smiled to himself when he felt Dean’s arm go around his waist. “Thanks for this, Dean. I had fun.”

“You’re welcome,” Dean said, kissing his hair as they walked outside. “Where do you wanna go?”

“Maybe just to that park nearby?” Castiel asked.

“Sure,” Dean said. He kept Cas close as he turned towards the park and started walking.

“So how was the move? I still can’t believe you wouldn’t let me help,” Cas said, leaning into Dean’s side.

“I didn’t want you to have to worry about all that,” Dean replied. “It went really well though. The place looks nice.”

“Could I come over sometime and see it?” Cas asked curiously.

“Yeah, of course,” Dean said. “When?”

“I was thinking…maybe after this?” Castiel asked.

“Yeah, sure,” Dean said. “My mom’s out at work late, she won’t mind.”

“Cool,” Cas said.

As they approached the park, an absentminded smile came over Castiel’s face. “Wow…I haven’t been here in years,” he said.

“Me too,” Dean said, leading them over to a bench. “It’s nice. Used to come here when I was little.”

“Bet that was cute,” Cas said with a small laugh. “You still haven’t shown me any pictures of you as a kid, you know. I’m waiting.”

“Oh trust me, I was the most adorable kid ever,” Dean said with exaggerated pride.

“Well if right now’s any indication, of course you were,” Cas agreed, turning Dean’s head to kiss him.

Dean smiled against Castiel’s lips, and they stayed like that for a while.

“It feels so amazing to do this in public,” Dean whispered, leaning into Castiel’s touch as he ran his fingers through his short blonde hair.

“It really does,” Cas said. “I’d kiss you in the middle of the city if I could.”

“Then let’s make sure we do that at some point,” Dean chuckled, kissing him again.

Cas rested a hand on Dean’s chest and looked at him fondly. “You think we could get going to your place?” he asked.

“Yeah, if you want to,” Dean said. “I’ve got snack and movies if you’re up for it.”

“A movie night with snacks. Just what I needed after this week of insanity,” Cas said.  

Dean grinned and laughed. “Seriously,” he agreed. “Let’s go then.”  

Castiel stood up with Dean and walked back to the Impala with him. They passed a few people who gave them weird looks, but Cas was far beyond the point of caring.

“How did Sam and your mom take you getting into another fight?” Castiel asked.

“They were pissed at first, but when I told them everything, they calmed down,” Dean said. “I’m just glad I’ve healed up for the most part.”

“Me too,” Castiel said. “I hated seeing them hurt you.”

Dean turned so his forehead was resting in Castiel’s hair. “Let’s not talk about that,” he said. “Tonight’s about us.”

“You’re right, I’m sorry,” Cas amended, squeezing Dean’s hand.

“Nothing to be sorry about. You’ve got a big heart, Cas. That’s a good thing,” Dean said as they arrived at the Impala and got inside.

Cas smiled over at him and strapped in as they headed for Dean’s apartment.

 

 

Once they got there, Cas followed him up to the door and inside. He looked around and took his coat off.

“This is nice. It feels homey,” Cas commented.

“Thanks, I think so too,” Dean said. “It might be smaller, but there’s definitely not as much tension around.”

“Definitely,” Cas agreed.

“I’ll get the stuff, you can go pick a movie from underneath the TV if you want,” Dean said. “Sam’s spending the night at a friend’s so we don’t have to worry about him wanting to change it to some nature documentary or something.”

“Oh the torture,” Cas laughed as he walked to the living room and searched through the movies Dean had. He settled on some action movie he’d never heard of that he was sure Dean would be horrified at, and put it in the player.

Several minutes later, Dean came into the room with a tray of snacks and drinks.

“Good choice,” Dean said, putting his arm around Castiel’s shoulders.

Cas laughed as Dean quoted lines from the movie and every now and then kissed him out of the blue.

“You’re happy tonight,” Castiel said with a laugh when the movie ended.

“I really am,” Dean said easily, kissing Castiel again. This time it was different though; slower.

Cas relaxed into Dean and parted his lips for Dean’s tongue, letting out a soft noise.

Dean leaned over until he pushed Castiel’s back against the couch and was hovering over him while they kissed.

Cas shifted slightly so his legs were spread and Dean was settled between them, wrapping his arms around Dean’s neck to keep him close. He sighed when Dean gently bit down on his bottom lip, and smiled.

Dean eventually pulled back to breathe and stared at Castiel longingly. “You’re so beautiful,” he whispered, lifting a hand off the couch to stroke his boyfriend’s face.

Castiel blushed, but managed to not look away. He didn’t know what to say to that, so he opted for kissing Dean chastely instead.

Dean backed away just enough to move down slightly and kiss Castiel’s neck. He didn’t miss the quiet moan it pulled out of Cas, and smirked against the skin as he started to suck.

“Dean,” Cas breathed, tightening his grip in the blond hair under his fingers.

Dean responded by biting down softly, then licking over the fresh bruise before pulling Cas’s shirt down just enough to give the same treatment to his collar bone.

Cas let out another quiet groan, pressing his hips up a little this time.

Dean smiled to himself and pulled back, unable to help himself as he kissed him again. “Wanna go to my room?” he asked.

Cas grinned widely and nodded.

Dean sat up and led Cas to his room down the hall, closing the door behind them. He immediately turned around and kissed Castiel again, still as slow and passionate as the first time.

Dean tugged at the hem of Castiel’s shirt, and Cas stepped back so Dean could pull it off for him.

Cas reached out for Dean’s shirt afterwards, and took his off as well.

Dean pushed Castiel back so he fell onto the bed and crawled between his legs. “We don’t have to go all the way,” he murmured, running his fingers through Castiel’s messy hair.

“Okay,” Cas said, hoping he didn’t sound as relieved as he felt.

Dean didn’t waste another second before kissing Cas again, this time running his fingers down his torso. He felt the muscles tighten and jump under his touch, and smirked into the kiss.

Dean lightly scraped his nails over Castiel’s hip bones and cherished the sharp inhale it earned him. He let his hand wander until it brushed the skin just above Castiel’s crotch.

Cas absentmindedly thrust his hips up and deepened the kiss even more. He moaned when Dean started massaging the area, then slowly undid his pants.

“Is this okay?” Dean asked against Castiel’s lips.

Cas nodded and lifted his hips as Dean sat back and helped take off his pants and underwear.

“Now you,” Cas said with a playful smile, trying to hide how nervous he felt being so exposed like this.

Dean chuckled and stood up, slowly taking his own pants and underwear off too. When those were cast aside, he settled between Castiel’s legs again and looked him over hungrily.

“I’ve dreamed about this for so long,” Dean said reverently, letting his hand trail down Castiel’s body.

“Me too,” Cas replied, reaching up and touching Dean as well. He looked up and saw how lust blown Dean’s eyes were, and knew his own matched.

Dean kissed him, then sat up and leaned over to his night stand, where he pulled out some lube.

Cas watched as Dean poured the lube onto his hand and reached down, stroking both of their dicks together. He moaned at how amazing it felt to finally have friction when he’d been hard for what seemed like way too long now.

Dean’s eyes closed and he exhaled shakily as he started moving his hand, gradually, beginning to thrust into it as well.

“Fuck,” Cas moaned, digging his nails into Dean’s shoulder blades as their cocks rubbed together. “Dean…”

Dean groaned slightly and started moving faster, making himself open his eyes. He needed to watch as Cas fell apart; needed to memorize every expression that passed his face.

Cas started thrusting his hips as well, letting out whimpers and moans whenever Dean tightened his fist around them or thrust hard.

“M not gonna last much longer,” Cas managed to get out, kissing Dean desperately as he thrust along with him at an even faster pace.

“Me neither,” Dean moaned, looking down at Cas with pure need in his eyes.  “Shit, Cas.”

It only took a few more thrusts before Cas came with a loud moan in between them, gripping Dean’s shoulders so they were even closer.

“Cas,” Dean moaned as he came soon after, riding out his orgasm.

They slowly stopped moving against each other, and Cas panted as he came down from the high.

“Fuck, that was amazing,” Dean murmured, still breathing heavily as he smiled. He leaned down and kissed Castiel again, taking his time exploring Castiel’s mouth.

“It really was,” Cas agreed as their lips parted.

“I’ll get something to clean us up,” Dean said. He kissed Castiel on the nose playfully, then got up and grabbed a wash cloth from the bathroom. He put it under warm water and walked back into the room, smiling at how Cas was still laid out so tiredly on the bed.

He walked over to the bedside and used the cloth to wipe up the come on Castiel’s stomach and dick.

“Mm, thanks,” Cas practically purred, looking up at Dean happily.

“You’re welcome,” Dean said, kissing him on the forehead. When he was done, he did the same thing to himself. “You wanna spend the night?”

“Your mom won’t mind?” Castiel asked, changing his position to get under the covers with Dean.

“Nah,” Dean said. “I promise.”

“I’d love to,” Cas said. “Let me text my brother.”

He leaned over the side of the bed and reached into the pocket of his jeans. He took out his phone and let Gabe know he wouldn’t be home, then went back to facing Dean.

Dean wrapped his arm around Castiel’s waist and pulled him close, tangling their legs together.

“You’re a cuddler then?” Cas asked, nuzzling into Dean’s chest.

“You have no idea,” Dean grinned into his hair. “G’night, Cas.”

“Goodnight, Dean.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay, a happy non-cliff hanger chapter end for once haha! 
> 
> Hope you guys liked it. Thanks so much for being so supportive this whole time, and I've still got another two chapters to go :) 
> 
> Comments, kudos, etc. are always welcome (not to mention awesome)
> 
> castielfuckingnovak.tumblr.com


	20. Prom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The second to last chapter is here! Hope you guys like seeing how everything unfolds at prom....plus the smut is a nice touch ;) 
> 
> Thanks for all the awesome reviews and encouragement so far, guys!

The day of prom, Castiel didn’t go to school. He knew it was kind of lame that he was actually taking part in that tradition, but whatever. He had a little panicking and preparation to do.

“Cas?” Gabe asked, knocking on his bedroom door around noon. He’d opted to stay home since all the teachers were expecting everyone to be gone because of prom anyway.

“Come in,” Castiel called through the door, staring at the suit laid out on his bed.

Gabe walked in and put a hand on Castiel’s shoulder. “You okay? You haven’t come downstairs once,” he said.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Cas said distractedly, still not looking away from the suit.

Gabe looked at the clothing, then his brother. “You nervous?” he asked.

“A little,” Cas nodded. “I mean, the teasing’s died down and everything, but…it feels weird going to prom when everyone’s kind of against us.”

“Hey,” Gabe said, squeezing Castiel’s shoulder. “Not everyone’s against you. Besides, they’ll all be too wrapped up in themselves to notice anyone else. Trust me. You and Dean are gonna have an awesome time, and no one’s gonna take that away from you.”

Cas took a deep breath and nodded. “Thanks Gabe,” he said.

“Anytime, brother,” Gabe said, taking a step back and walking towards the door. “Now get dressed and come downstairs. I’ll help you out with anything else before Dean gets here.”

Cas smiled gratefully at Gabriel as he left, and directed his attention back at the suit. Yep. This was really happening.

 

 

Several hours later, Cas was in the living room trying to calm himself down. Dean was going to be there any minute now, and he was anxious. It was a good anxious though, like he couldn’t wait to see him in his suit and spend the evening with him.

Shortly after Cas started tapping his foot to the rhythm of a song he was only half-consciously thinking about, the doorbell rang.

Castiel stood up and opened the front door, smiling widely when he saw Dean standing there. His hair was a little messier than usual, and his suit, shirt, and tie were completely black.

Before Cas could even form words, Dean said, “You look gorgeous, Cas.”

Cas blushed. “Thanks; so do you, Dean,” he said, stepping aside slightly for him to come inside. “My brother kind of insists on taking pictures, if you don’t mind.”

“Not at all,” Dean laughed, taking a few steps inside. “Oh, here. I got this for you.”

Dean pulled out a short rose for Castiel’s breast pocket. “May I?” he asked.

Cas nodded, and watched as Dean gently put it inside the pocket. When he was done, he smiled in satisfaction and kissed him.

“Hey there kids,” Gabe said as he entered the room. “Put your tongues back in your mouths for a second while I capture this moment I’m sure your grandkids will love.”

 Cas blushed and rolled his eyes as he pulled back from Dean and stood next to him. “Let’s get this over with,” he said.

“Alright, get cute,” Gabe said, putting the camera up to his face. “Shouldn’t be a problem for you guys.”

Dean laughed and put his arm around Castiel’s waist while Cas rested his hand on Dean’s lower back and smiled.

“One, two, three,” Gabe counted off before snapping a picture. He pulled the camera away to look at the image and grinned. “That’s a keeper. One more?”

“Gabe, we need to go,” Cas said, already embarrassed enough as it was.

“Cas, it’s fine,” Dean said, and when Cas looked over at him he saw such adoration in those green eyes it was impossible not to smile back.

Cas saw a flash out of the corner of his eyes and glared at Gabriel. “Really?” he asked, raising an eyebrow at him.

“You’ll thank me for that later. It was golden,” Gabe said, waving the camera slightly.

“I bet we will. One more for the road, Gabe. My mom’s gonna want these too,” Dean said, going back to how he was standing with Cas before.

“He’s a good sport, Cas. I knew I liked him,” Gabe said, putting the camera back up to his eye. “One, two, three.”

The flash went off again, and Cas blinked against the harsh lights that were partially blocking his vision.

“Well now that I’m blind, let’s get going,” Castiel chuckled, leaning up to kiss Dean on the cheek.

“Sounds great to me,” Dean said. “Bye Gabe; I’ll have him home after it’s over.”

“You’d better not,” Gabe winked. “Have fun.”

Cas noticed Dean blushing slightly and cocked his head towards the door.

They turned around and walked out to the Impala, and Cas took a deep breath as they went down the driveway.

“We’re really doing this,” he said.

 

 

Once they entered the school gymnasium, it set in just how real this was.

There were decorations hanging everywhere that Cas scanned his eyes over, marveling over how amazing it looked. He squeezed Dean’s hand and leaned into his side as he glanced at the crowd of people on the dance floor and off to the sides, drinking punch.

“You wanna dance?” Dean asked, leaning down to speak into Castiel’s ear over the music.

“How about we get a drink first?” Cas replied. “I’m too out of my element to dance yet.”

Dean nodded and led Cas to the drink table, where he got them both some punch. To Castiel’s surprise, it wasn’t spiked. At least, it didn’t taste like it was spiked.

“What do you think?” Dean asked as they watched everyone dancing together, having a great time.

“I think it’s great,” Cas said honestly. “I’m glad you asked me. When I’m done with this drink we should get out there.”

“You think you’re ready for my dancing skills?” Dean countered with a teasing smirk.

“Impress me, Winchester,” Castiel laughed.

Dean smiled and kissed him, and Cas suddenly felt weightless. This was already better than he could’ve asked for.

When they both finished their drinks, Cas tugged Dean by the hand out to the dance floor.

Dean laughed and easily went along, making their way through the crowd of students so they could dance to whatever shitty pop music was blaring through the speakers.

Even though Dean usually hated this kind of music, right now it was the best thing in the world. He was here, with Cas, dancing and having fun out in the open for everyone to see.

Cas couldn’t stop smiling as he watched Dean dance in a weird combination of purposefully horrible and overdramatic moves and the occasional really good and coordinated step.

Castiel laughed and tried to copy some of the things Dean was doing, as well as trying to make the most of his lack of dancing ability to make Dean laugh as well.

After what seemed like a wonderfully long time, a slow song started to play.

Everyone quieted down and partnered up with their dates, and Cas shyly closed the distance between himself and Dean.

Dean put his hands on Castiel’s waist, and Castiel placed his on Dean’s shoulders.

“I’ve been practicing this a little,” Dean confessed as they started to sway side to side to the rhythm of the song.

“Really?” Castiel asked.

“Yeah. Sam and my mom gave me a few crash courses,” Dean said, slowly starting to turn in a circle.

“That _is_ very impressive,” Cas said, moving one of his hands down to rest on Dean’s chest. “I’ve gotta say, your dancing’s been pretty incredible so far.”

Dean chuckled and shrugged. “Thanks, I try,” he said. “Probably too hard.”

Cas shook his head fondly and leaned up slightly to kiss him. Everything about this moment was perfect. The music, the dancing, the way they fit in each other’s arms. All of it.

When Cas pulled away, Dean rested their foreheads together.

“I love you,” Dean whispered.

Cas’ eyes flew open, and he pulled back to see Dean’s face. Had he really just heard that?

“I love you, Cas,” Dean said, unashamed. He lifted one of his hands from Castiel’s waist and stroked his thumb along his cheekbone.

Now there was no mistaking it. Cas felt tears sting behind his eyes, but he pushed them down. He didn’t want to cry, not now.

“I love you too,” Cas said, his gaze never wavering from Dean’s. He had wanted to say those words for so long, and to hear Dean say them first was absolute rush. “I love you so much, Dean.”

Dean pressed their lips together again, pulling Castiel impossibly closer. When they broke apart to breathe, they were both grinning like idiots.

“I’ve wanted to say that to you for so long,” Dean said, dropping his hand back to Cas’s waist.

“Me too,” Cas replied, getting lost in Dean’s eyes all over again. “I can’t believe we’re here.”

He meant a lot of things when he said that. He couldn’t believe they were at prom, he couldn’t believe that they were out to the world, and he couldn’t believe that they were in love. It hadn’t seemed possible just a few months ago.

“I know. And I was a total idiot before…because right now, I wouldn’t trade this moment for anything,” Dean said. “I’m sorry it took me so long to be ready to come out.”

“Tonight isn’t about apologies,” Cas shook his head. “Especially ones you don’t need to make. I love you; that’s all that matters.”

Dean gave a soft smile and nodded. “I love you too,” he said.

Just after the words passed Dean’s lips, the song changed to another ridiculously upbeat one. Despite the music making it more difficult to talk, they both laughed and took a step apart to go back to dancing.

Halfway through a random song, Cas felt someone tap him on the shoulder.

He turned around and smiled when he saw who it was.

“Charlie,” Cas said over the music, hugging her. “You’re here?”

“Yeah, decided to come after all,” Charlie said. She gestured to Dorothy, who was standing next to her. “We couldn’t miss out.”

Cas felt Dean come right up beside him, and he waved at the girls. He’d only met them once before, but they’d all gotten along well.

“Hey ladies,” Dean greeted.

“Hey,” Charlie and Dorothy replied.

“You liking the dance so far?” Dean asked, putting his arm around Castiel’s waist.

“Loving it,” Charlie said enthusiastically. “Neither of us really knows how to dance, but we’re great at pretending like we do.”

Cas chuckled and pointed at Dean. “Same with this one,” he said.

Dean gave a look of mock offense.

Dorothy smiled and grabbed Charlie’s hand. “We were just heading for the drink table,” she said. “We’ll see you guys later?”

“Yeah, see ya,” Cas said, waving at them as they walked off into the sea of people.

“Come on, let’s sit down at a table,” Dean said. “I need a rest.”

Cas nodded and took Dean’s offered hand as they made their way to one of the many tables on the side of the dance floor.

Once they sat down, Cas sighed and looked at Dean lovingly.

“There’s actually something I’ve been meaning to tell you,” Cas said, scooting his chair closer so it would be easier to hear each other.

“Okay, what is it?” Dean asked, obviously hesitant by the way Cas had said it.

“It’s not bad,” Cas assured him. “I got into KSU.”

Dean smiled from ear to ear. “Cas, that’s amazing!” he exclaimed, hugging him.

Castiel hugged him back and buried his face in Dean’s neck for a moment.

“I knew you’d get in,” Dean said proudly. “I’m so happy for you.”

“Thanks,” Cas said as they parted. “I was really nervous, but I guess I was good enough.”

“Well duh,” Dean said supportively. “Guess that means I’d better make sure I get in too.”

“That’s all I would need for it to be perfect,” Castiel said, taking Dean’s hand in his.

 

 

The last song of the night was some anthem that had apparently been playing on the radio for the last few months, but neither Dean nor Cas knew it well enough to sing along like everyone else was doing. Instead, they just danced together until it ended.

Once the music faded out, Cas hugged Dean close and waited for everyone else to file out of the gym.

“Might as well wait out the traffic,” Cas murmured.

“Mm,” Dean hummed in agreement. “You know…tonight was probably the best night of my life.”

Cas looked up at him. “Me too,” he said. “Wish it didn’t have to end.”

Dean playfully nuzzled their noses together. “It doesn’t have to,” he said. “Wanna go back to my place?”

Cas nodded. “Yeah, sounds great,” he said.

They walked out to the Impala and managed to be behind all of the traffic, so they got to Dean’s without any problems.

“Dean?” Cas asked as they pulled into Dean’s driveway.

Dean looked over at him as he killed the engine, prompting him to continue.

“I think I’m ready. To take this all the way,” Cas said, biting his lip at how strange the words sounded coming out of his mouth.

A small smile started to grow on Dean’s face. “Really?” he asked. “Seriously Cas, no pressure.”

“I know,” Cas said, placing his hand on top of Dean’s. “You’ve never made me feel like there was any pressure. But I love you, and tonight was amazing…the last thing I wanna do right now is go home knowing we could’ve had this memory too.”

“Then I’d love to,” Dean said, picking Castiel’s hand up and kissing it.

Cas smiled and got out of the car, feeling wonderfully nervous as they walked inside.

All the lights were off when they got in, and Cas put his jacket on the coat hanger.

“No one home?” Castiel asked.

“Nah. My mom’s working late again since she knew it was prom and we’d probably wanna come back for a bit, and Sam knew better than to stay back when she’d be gone,” Dean laughed.

“I wish I had this kind of privacy back at my house. Maybe Gabe would leave me alone sometimes,” Cas said.

“Well you can always come here, whenever you want,” Dean said. “Come on, let’s go to my room.”

Cas followed Dean to his room, and took a deep breath when he heard the door close behind them.

“You sure about this?” Dean asked, tossing his jacket aside as well.

“Totally,” Cas nodded. “Just a little nervous.”

“Let me help you relax then. You ever wanna stop, just say the word,” Dean said, closing the distance between them a little more.

“Okay,” Cas said. He couldn’t take it anymore, so he kissed Dean softly and parted his lips.

Dean pushed his tongue inside Castiel’s mouth and reached for his blue tie that had matched his eyes perfectly that night. He undid it slowly and let it fall to the floor before untucking Cas’s shirt and starting to undo the buttons.

Cas had his fingers in Dean’s hair, gently pulling at it every now and then as their moves moved together.

When Dean reached the last button on Castiel’s shirt, Cas helped shrug it off his shoulders and drop it.

Cas had to reluctantly pull away from the kiss to focus on undoing Dean’s tie, throwing that aside and going through the buttons on his shirt as well.

Once both of their shirts were out of the way, Dean ran his hands down Castiel’s torso.

“You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen in my life,” Dean whispered reverently.

Cas blushed and let his eyes rake over Dean’s exposed skin. “So are you,” he replied quietly.

A little more familiar with how this sort of thing went now that he and Dean had been sexual before, Cas went over to the bed and lied down, spreading his legs.

Dean followed and settled himself in between Castiel’s legs, kissing him desperately once he got there.

Dean’s hand slid down Castiel’s chest and stomach, committing to memory all the curves of his body and how his skin felt.

When Dean stopped kissing him, Cas let out a small noise of complaint. Dean smiled and kissed down Castiel’s neck and chest, stopping at one of his nipples. He licked the sensitive area, cherishing the slight hiss it pulled out of his boyfriend.

Dean started to suck on one nipple, and used his fingers to pinch the other.

Cas cried out quietly in pleasure and arched his back. He reached down and tangled his fingers in Dean’s hair, closing his eyes. Now all the anxiety he felt had faded away to excitement and arousal. He could feel himself starting to get hard.

Dean smirked and bit down on the pink skin before moving over to Castiel’s other nipple, giving it the same treatment. Cas practically melted under Dean’s mouth, breathing heavily.

“Dean, please,” Cas begged in a soft voice.

“Please what?” Dean smirked, looking up at Castiel.

“Take my fucking pants off,” Castiel said, a little more rough this time.

Dean moved down to kiss the skin above Castiel’s pelvis before undoing his pants. He pulled them down along with his underwear and quickly got rid of them.

Seeing how incredible Cas looked spread out for him, Dean licked his lips. It didn’t take long for him to get rid of his own pants and underwear, wasting no time getting between Castiel’s legs again and pressing their bodies together.

Cas gasped at the sudden contact, completely hard by now. He rocked his hips up and found Dean’s mouth with his.

Dean pulled back and looked into Castiel’s eyes, which now just had a very thin frame of blue on the edges.

“You’re so gorgeous,” Dean whispered. He pulled away and leaned over to the nightstand, pulling out some lube and a condom.

Cas licked his lips and looked up at Dean with awe as he poured lube over his fingers, spreading his legs a little wider.

Dean reached down and circled Castiel’s entrance with his finger before gently pushing it inside.

Castiel gasped and closed his eyes. He’d done this to himself a few times before, but nothing compared to having Dean there.

“Shit,” Castiel breathed, relaxing against the mattress as his eyes opened.

Dean moved his finger and started thrusting it and out, leaning down to kiss down Cas’s chest. He pushed another finger inside and cherished the noise Cas made as he crooked his fingers.

Castiel moaned loudly when Dean found his prostate, gripping the sheets tightly. He laughed almost drunkenly when he saw the smirk on Dean’s face at the reaction.

“I love when you’re loud,” Dean murmured, pressing against Castiel’s prostate again so he’d let out another moan.

“Dean, please,” Cas begged, pushing back on Dean’s fingers. “I need you.”

“Fuck, I need you too,” Dean whispered, kissing him as he pulled his fingers out.

Cas whined, but let his legs fall open as he adjusted himself underneath his boyfriend.

Dean opened the condom wrapper and rolled it on, pouring lube on his dick and lining it up with Castiel’s entrance.

“I’ll go slow,” Dean comforted quietly. He kissed Cas to distract him as he pushed himself inside, feeling the other boy gasp against his lips.

Cas let out a small noise of discomfort as Dean bottomed out, gripping Dean’s shoulders tightly. All of it was wonderfully overwhelming, and Cas just focused on the wave of emotions coming over him.

After a moment, Cas was breathing normally again. “Okay,” he whispered. “You can move.”

Dean groaned and rested their foreheads together as he started thrusting. He went slowly at first, his breathing shallow and shaky.

Castiel moaned and dug his fingernails into Dean’s shoulder blades, keeping him close as they moved together. He brushed his lips over Dean’s neck before burying his face there, grounding himself in this moment.

“So tight,” Dean groaned, picking up the pace a little. He pressed their bodies together and breathed hotly near Castiel’s ear.

“Dean,” Cas moaned, tightening around him when he hit his prostate. “God, just like that.”

Dean grunted as he tilted his hips and tried to thrust against that same spot over and over. He nipped at Castiel’s collar bone, then started sucking a mark into his neck.

Cas tilted his head back and gasped in pleasure, rocking back into Dean’s hips.

“I’m close,” Cas whispered, hissing at the friction between them when Dean’s torso rubbed his dick in just the right way.

Dean thrust even faster and lifted his head back up so his face was mere centimeters from Castiel’s. He wanted to watch as Cas unraveled; everything about him was intoxicating.

Castiel came hard between them, crying out Dean’s name as he ground back on his dick.

Dean moaned and came just moments after Cas, his hips stuttering. Eventually Dean stopped moving and pulled out, still panting.

“Fuck,” Dean exhaled, a grin coming over his face as he reached up and ran his fingers through Castiel’s hair. “That was even better than I imagined.”

Cas blushed and kissed him. “It really was,” he agreed, his eyes already drooping with exhaustion. “Hold me?”

“Anything, baby,” Dean said, taking the condom off and tossing it in the trash can. He grabbed a shirt from the floor and used it to clean Castiel’s stomach off before wrapping his arms around his waist. “I’m so in love with you,” Dean whispered.

“So am I. Hopelessly in love with you,” Cas said with a lazy smile, kissing Dean as he intertwined their legs and cuddled into him.

Dean looked deep into Castiel’s blue eyes and felt his heart about to burst with happiness. This was everything he could ever want.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aw how cute! Just one more chapter left, and it's gonna be pretty short to wrap things up, but it'll be great I swear :P
> 
> Comments, kudos, etc. are always appreciated, and I'll see you all again next week!
> 
> castielfuckingnovak.tumblr.com


	21. Moving In

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well this is it, everyone. The short last chapter at the end of an awesome experience writing this story. Thank you so much to everyone who supported it and read it :)

ONE AND A HALF YEARS LATER

“Dean, come on,” Cas called over his shoulder as he arrived at the door to their new dorm.

“I’m coming,” Dean said, looking around the two boxes that he had stacked in his arms. “Hold the door open for me.”

“Kay,” Cas said, using his key to open the door and walking inside. He put the boxes on the floor and made sure that the door stayed open for Dean.

When Dean walked inside, he set his boxes down and smiled.

“Damn. This place doesn’t look half bad,” Dean said. He put his arm around Castiel’s shoulders and kissed his temple as he looked at the two beds side by side in front of them.

“No it doesn’t,” Cas said. “And it’ll look even better once you’ve got all your music posters up and I’ve got my books over there.”

Dean’s eyes followed where Cas vaguely gestured as he spoke and he nodded. “You’re right,” he said. “Can’t believe we get to call this place home now. I can come home to you every night.”

“You’re such a romantic,” Cas laughed, leaning up to kiss him. “And even though there are two beds, I hope you know we’re only gonna need one.”

Dean grinned widely. “Hell yeah,” he said.

“Finally. We get a fresh start in a place without any of the shit that we couldn’t escape in high school,” Cas said.

“We deserve it,” Dean said, turning so he was facing Castiel as he put his arms around his waist.

Cas nodded and rested their foreheads together for a moment before pulling away, smiling absentmindedly as he looked deeply into Dean’s green eyes.

“I love you so much,” Dean whispered.

“I love you too,” Cas replied softly.

When they both fell into one of the beds that night, Cas knew this was all he ever wanted for a future. And for the first time in a while, he felt like they could both have this…they could have each other and be happy for the rest of their lives.

Needless to say, it didn’t take long for him to fall asleep in Dean’s loving embrace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there you have it :) I hope you guys liked it. I don't think I'll be writing another fic anytime soon, but if you want you can always send me prompts at my tumblr and I'll happily write short fics for it. 
> 
> Thank you again so much for reading and supporting. I love you all <3 
> 
> castielfuckingnovak.tumblr.com

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Let me know what you guys think and if you want me to keep going. I've got a lot of cool ideas for this fic. 
> 
> castielfuckingnovak.tumblr.com


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